Parents tend to congratulate themselves, maybe pity themselves, for their committed love, as if a parent's commitment were pure self-giving devotion. But if isn't. We slip a goodly dose of self-serving into our caring commitment.
There is song in the church that goes:
I gave, I gave my life for thee.
What hast thou given for me, for me?
I gave, I gave my life for thee.
What hast thou given for me?
It was about God's commitment to us. But it made us feel that God might have been asking too much in return, wanting more from us than we could give. How could we ever pay him back?
Can anyone ever get even with God?
Some parents have their own version of the gospel song:
I gave, I gave the best years of my life for thee.
What have you given to me, to me?
What have you given to me?
Not even a phone call!
The tone of it is, when parents commit themselves to their children, they give and give and give, all for their kids, only for them. Why can't they see how much they owe us?
But in our hearts we know the truth.
We know that when we make our commitments to our children, we expect a good return on our investment. But the time we hold the red, wrinkled creature in our arms, we are dreaming dreams we know will make us happy. And some of us let them know too soon and too often that we don't want to be disappointed.
Now and then, seduced by pious illusion, what we were doing was what every parent on God's procreative planet does: we were following an inner nudge to give our marriage, and our lives, a deeper meaning and richer love than we could give it by ourselves.
I can't remember doing much of anything for my children that wasn't embroidered with a selfish stitch. From the first day they got inside my range, they were expected to bring me my fair share of fatherly gladness. When I pushed them to do well, I wanted to enjoy being the father of children who did well for themselves.
Some parents expect their children to provide them with immortality. Be their life beyond the grave.
Every parent keeps a self-serving dream in the shadows of his or her unconditional commitment. No shame in it. And if we know that our free will offerings to the kids are investments in our own Blessing, we can keep a sense of humor should the Blessing ever be shrouded in sorrows.
Parents commitments to their children are unlike any other commitment we make. No free commitment we make to any other person, is so caring and so controlling as a parent's commitment to a child. No other commitment is so self-serving and so self-giving than a parents.
Let's have a coffee
Hari
Enjoy reading...Blessing
Nice article by the way dude