Acceptance by Others

There may be an occasional person who has such strong self-confidence that he does not need the acceptance of other people, but the majority of people are dependent upon others for emotional sustenance each day. The woman who is deprived of acceptance is forced into perpetual isolation and becomes deeply disturbed emotionally. She develops feelings of worthlessness which lead to despair and depression.

A mother tends to become isolated when she has several young children to care for and to supervise. She does not have time for association with her peers outside the home. It is too much trouble to get the children ready, and they are too disruptive of social engagements. Most mothers are very self-conscious of the activities of their children which may be annoying to others.

Women tend to be critical of one another. They are hesitant to entertain unless the house can be spotless and the food or refreshments exquisitely prepared. Women are much more aware of the quality and condition of clothes worn by others. Upon returning from a social or religious gathering, they can usually describe in detail the dresses worn by other women and the ability of the seamstress who made them. Such acute observation of others results in their suspecting that others are observing their clothing and activities also. This tendency can cause a woman to feel uncomfortable in the presence of those whom she does not know well or among those by whom she does not feel accepted.

There is a competitive tendency among women. When members of a social group take turns in hosting the group, the hostess on successive occasions is careful to match or surpass the entertainment of the previous occasion. Those whose homes are not as elaborate as others are very self-conscious of their more humble dwellings when their turn for hosting the occasion arrives. On the other hand, some women whose husbands make larger salaries feel superior to others and in turn are resented by those who must struggle to pay their bills.

These attitudes tend to isolate a person and lead to loneliness. A woman with self-esteem can control and minimize the isolating tendencies, but one with inferiority feelings often succumbs to them. Isolation increases inferiority. A woman who has no real friends feels too inferior to make social contacts, and this reluctance makes her feel even more inferior. Although she may be misinterpreted by her peers as being cold, aloof, and self-sufficieng, she desperately needs acceptance and meaningful contact with people.

The past roles of men and women have enabled men to be more successful in finding outside interests and activities than their wives. Men are interested in sporting events while women usually are not. Men enjoy carpentry, working in gardens, and boating while women usually are bored with such activities. Women may enjoy sewing and growing house plants, but their range of activities is usually more limited than that of men. The lack of energy and time for the mother of small children accounts largely for her not being more involved in the outside world. Every person must have at least one other person to care for and love him or her. Without a relationship to make one feel needed and wanted, a person lacks self-esteem, tends to develop feelings of inferiority, and becomes isolated. Humans are social beings who must depend on each other for emotional fulfillment and stability.

Any thought?

Hari

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