Self destruction

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Avatar for Hanzell
Written by
4 years ago
In community: Alcohol effects(c5c2)

Alcohol effects

Keywords: ashes, charming, release, people, support, worm

 

They said drinking will be the answer to all my problems. They said it will give you some form of release. But why is that, the more I drink, the more I become dissociated with myself. People say I need to stop. They say I need. I know I do. My liver will soon rupture with everything I’m doing. Night after night the bottle in my hand starts to feel like it has always been there. I don’t think I can go about living sober anymore.

I look in the mirror and I see myself. When did I start looking like this? My once charming self feels like just a picture that’s been burnt to ashes now, a distant memory to me. I wonder, if my family knew of what I’ve been doing to myself, would they still love and support me? Would they still welcome me into their arms and help me out? I suppose they would view me as a parasite now with what has happened to me, nothing but an insignificant worm that would be better off gone. They wouldn’t though, right? Or is everything I’m thinking right now the alcohol talking? My brain’s probably decreased far too much for me to thing properly. I curse the day I ever started depending on the substance.

PS. i don't actually drink ;-; but my mind is in a weird place right now so this happened.

And i used this as a timer because I don't like just being surprised by my timer

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Comments

"They said drinking will be the answer to all my problems. They said it will give you some form of release."

People really do say this. And may buy the idea. This only adds to one's problem.

Glad to know you are not an alcoholic. PS. i don't actually drink ;-; but my mind is in a weird place right now so this happened."

What placed your mind in such a place... Not something you would share?

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User's avatar Macronald
4 years ago

It was after an anxiety attack in the morning. It usually takes me days to recover and when i get in that place in my mind, i can only express myself negatively since sleeping it away doesn't help anymore and i don't like being too reliant on medication as well

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

How often does that happen or was it just once?

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User's avatar Macronald
4 years ago

Just sometimes now. Only when i get triggered

So did you enjoy your little trip down my thoughts?

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

What is the trigger?

It's 1:45 am here. If they were not enjoyable, I wouldn't be awake reading them

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User's avatar Macronald
4 years ago

I'm not sure half the time. I guess the feeling of eventually getting replaced was for a few of them. The one i experienced here was from abandonment though. I think the thought permeated well enough

Oh it's late. We can continue this another time-

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

Alright

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User's avatar Macronald
4 years ago

I guess I'll give posting from my journals a shot

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

I like it. It is indeed a good writing.

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User's avatar Jane
4 years ago

Thank you ^^ it took a more dramatic turn than i would have hoped for

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

The word "people" is not a prompt the word is "perplex".

Did you use Grammarly? I noticed it changes perplex into people.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
4 years ago

I was pretty sure it was people when you first posted the update on the competition so i intentionally used people and not perplex

I still have two more tries for this, right? Maybe I'll try again

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

You tried again and it's no big deal with this entry. It's a strong one. 👍💕

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
4 years ago

Amazing Write up

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User's avatar Bestie
4 years ago

Thank you, i appreciate the praise ^^

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

Nice. It is quite amazing how you wrote this when you don't actually drink. Our brain is really full of wonders. Or maybe you're really good at putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Good luck with the contest. 🍀

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User's avatar Gwenie
4 years ago

I think the latter? Or maybe because alcoholism is put in movies and books a lot so that's probably how? Anyways, thank you so much for the compliment ^-^

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

Every problem has a solution. But it is totally depend on you what you choose. Who can choose alcohol for removing their stress, I said, they are dumb and also stupid. It can help you temporarily but can permanent harm on your health.

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User's avatar Saha99saha
4 years ago

I'm not sure about that because i don't drink. But what i do know is it depends on exposure to the vice fro a young age so to begin with, it wasn't their fault but of those who influenced it. They just stuck to it because it's what they grew up to believe in

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

Yes. You are right.

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User's avatar Saha99saha
4 years ago

I'm amazed because you do not drink but you wrote that or maybe it is your own observation in your village or your mind is full of knowledge about alcohol😇

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User's avatar Mark012207
4 years ago

It's based on movies? And some books I've read where characters turn to alcoholism? But thank you, i appreciate that you liked it

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago

Very well done. I know you are not an alcoholic and this is exactly what I would do. Pretend I am one and say....(who knows I will write too). Big applaud for you. 👍🍀💕

Which device did you use?

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
4 years ago

I'd love to see your version of the freewrite topic too, everyone's version is too experienced based so it would be nice to see other styles

I used laptop for typing. I didn't edit it so the time i posted it was my end time? I typed it in Microsoft word. The timer was that music loop

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User's avatar Hanzell
4 years ago
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