What causes tantrums in children? and how to solve it?
Tantrums are the most common problem in toddlers. It is not uncommon for parents to find it difficult to deal with and deal with children who have tantrums, especially in public. The following is an explanation of tantrums in children, ranging from understanding, causes, to how to overcome them.
What is a tantrum?
Tantrums are emotional outbursts that are usually marked by a child's stubbornness, crying, screaming, shouting, defiance, or anger.
When your child has a tantrum, you may become frustrated and confused about it.Tantrums are part of normal child development because they are trying to show that they are upset.Generally, tantrums will occur in the second year of a child's life, when early childhood language development begins to develop.This is because toddlers cannot yet say what they want, feel, or need. However, children's tantrums tend to decrease as their language skills increase.
What are the signs of a tantrum in a child who exceeds the limit?
Tantrums are actually normal conditions that occur in children, and can even be considered as part of the developmental process. However, parents need to know the signs of tantrums in children who have exceeded the limit. Here are the signs:
-Has a frequent tantrum frequency.
-Rage for a long time.
-When throwing a tantrum, make physical contact with other people.
-Angry to the point of hurting yourself.
The signs above can be a risk of emotional disturbance in children. Therefore, if it feels excessive you can consult a doctor.
What causes tantrums in children?
This term is used when a child cries, whines, screams, kicks, or hits. This condition usually occurs in toddlers aged 1 to 3 years. Children who have tantrums are generally caused by feelings of irritation, anger, and frustration. It can also appear because the child feels tired, hungry, and uncomfortable. These aggressive actions occur because children find it difficult to express what they want and need. However, you don't have to worry about this. With age, children's language skills will increase. In addition, children are also better able to control emotions as one of the stages of early childhood emotional social development. Tantrums are the most common problem in toddlers. It is not uncommon for parents to find it difficult to deal with and deal with children who have tantrums, especially in public. The following is an explanation of tantrums in children, ranging from understanding, causes, to how to overcome them.
How to deal with child tantrums?
This situation can happen at any time, from being out in public to eating. How to deal with and deal with child tantrums also depends on the condition of the child. Here's the full explanation.
Overcoming tantrums in children when in public places
Child tantrums in public are the most common and often make parents panic for fear of disturbing others. Here's how to fix it:
*Hugs him
Children who have tantrums in public places often make parents emotional. However, when you see a child tantrum, a hug is the first thing you can do to calm it down. Hugs can make your child feel safe and know that their parents care, even if you don't agree with what they're doing. Give a firm tight hug, not a loving hug to lull. Avoid saying anything while you are holding your little one. Diane Ryals, a family educator at the University of Illinois, explains that tantrums become a big problem when parents give up too soon or too often. “Because this method is a shortcut to get what he wants. That way, tantrums are a way that is often done," he explained, quoted from the Stella Maris School of Future Entrepreneurs.
*Preparing all the needs of children
Keep in mind that children and toddlers are more likely to express their emotions when hungry or tired. For example, if you are going to go shopping monthly, make sure that your little one goes full and well rested. During shopping, it's a good idea to bring a 'weapon' to keep your child busy on their own. Some of the items that can be brought from children's snacks to their favorite toys. These items may seem trivial, but they can be a powerful aid in an emergency.
*Make ground rules for children
Parents need to set ground rules when walking around to reduce the risk of tantrums. Before reaching your destination, you can explain to your child that the purpose of going to the mall is just to buy food, not ice cream or new toys. Unfulfilled desires are the cause of children like tantrums. If you know that the mall you are going to has a candy store or your little one's favorite toy, be sure to take the time to visit that place. In addition, you can also think twice about traveling there. Thinking about his possible reactions, consequences, and alternatives doesn't mean you give up. This means, you are being a wise parent.
* Overcome tantrums while eating
Child tantrums can occur at any time, including when your child is eating. Here's how to fix it:
_Let children explore their food
A child's anger that comes at mealtime is sometimes caused by his curiosity about the food he is eating. Of course you can feed it when the texture of the child's food makes it impossible to let him eat alone. This type of food is for example porridge or other pulverized food with a liquid texture. However, it never hurts to try giving him solid food the size of a child's hand so he can hold it himself (finger foods). Besides being able to please children, finger foods also play a role in improving motor development in early childhood. Children also begin to recognize various forms of daily food. That way, don't forbid your little one to eat alone if he really wants to.
_You just have to watch him so he doesn't choke.
_Divert his attention to something else.
Even if you seem to be in a pretty tough situation if your child has a tantrum while eating, try to divert his attention as much as possible to something more interesting. It can be by giving him a favorite toy, talking to him about a fun experience he has had, or retelling a child's favorite fairy tale. In essence, do various interesting things that can at least reduce or even stop his tantrums while eating.
_Remind children about the rules when eating
A child's tantrum habit that continues to be allowed can make him always rely on tantrums, anger, and crying as tricks to get what he wants. As a parent, try to always be firm in order to educate children to understand the various rules in everyday life. From an early age, start introducing your child to the good and bad things he can and can't do. This includes eating time, such as eating, you have to sit down, chew food until it's smooth, don't eat it, and so on.
How can I prevent my child from having tantrums in public?
Here are some things you can do to prevent your child from tantrums in public:
*Prepare toys or other objects
According to the National Association of School Psychologists, tantrums in children tend to occur when they face a change in activity from what they normally do. For example, children who usually play during the day, on that day actually come with you to visit a place. This condition can later trigger tantrums in children. Changes in routine may cause boredom in your little one. He who hopes to play with his friends as usual, must be in a place that he does not know and deal with people. So that your little one doesn't have tantrums because they are bored, prepare toys, reading books, or snacks.
*Take time to rest
Another way to prevent tantrums in public is to take time to rest. Being outside the house and dealing with many people, may make your little one tired. Before he tantrums due to exhaustion, make sure your child has time to rest. While outside the house, your little one can rest by being carried. To be sure, you can ask him, “Are you tired? Do you want me to carry you?" Or you can put it to sleep in a stroller. You can also recognize the child is tired or not by seeing the activity of the little one. If he starts to look inactive here and there, asks a lot of questions, and tends to be more quiet, this could be a sign that your little one is getting tired and needs rest.
*Tell children about transitions in activities while outside
When you invite your little one to go to a new place, boredom can arise. Especially in places that do not make it free to move. He may whine for you to come home soon. To prevent your child from tantrums in public, let him know what activities he will do next. You can say, “After this, we'll find some shoes for you, okay? Keep going home." This can give the understanding to your little one that he will not be stuck in that place for a long time.
Are there any benefits of tantrums for children and parents?
Although dealing with child tantrums is very tiring, there are actually benefits. Here are some important reasons why tantrums are actually a good thing.
-Help your child learn
A child who has a tantrum is struggling and expressing their frustration. This will help them to control themselves so they can learn something new such as learning to work together, communicate, and deal with negative emotions. Over time, children will understand that tantrums are not the right way to attract parental attention or to impose their own will.
- Bringing children and parents closer
When your child has a tantrum, let them go through the turmoil of their feelings. Tantrums are part of a child's learning process to learn what kind of vocabulary can make their needs fulfilled and which ones can't. When your child has a tantrum, you need to stay calm, don't talk too much, and offer some reassuring words and a warm hug. That way, your child will learn to accept your decision and feel closer to you afterward.
-Children learn about the limits of their behavior
Children can use tantrums as weapons to get what they want. However, by being assertive, he will learn that there are certain behavioral limits (or demands) he must follow. By being firm, over time he will not rage as his main weapon when he is upset.
When to call the doctor?
Tantrums are behaviors that generally stop on their own as the child develops. However, if your child experiences any of the following, you need to consult a doctor immediately.
*Parents often feel angry or lose control when dealing with a child who is having a tantrum.
*Relationships with children become inharmonious or tenuous.
* Tantrums become more frequent, intense, or last longer.
*Your child often hurts himself or others.
*Your child seems very unpleasant, demanding, and almost never cooperative.
You can contact the doctor if your child experiences any of the above.
And that's a little knowledge about tantrums that can be used for learning for us. Hopefully useful and thank you for reading to the end.
Really helpful parenting article.