Causes of Quiet Children and How to Deal with It.

Quiet children are often considered to have difficulty communicating, including with parents. Whereas in the process of child growth and development, parents are expected to accompany their children, including discussing many things. A quiet child can make it difficult for parents to understand what their child is feeling and thinking. Actually there are several reasons why children become quiet. Let's look at some of the explanations I wrote.

There are many reasons why children become quiet

Generally, children with quiet characters will still talk a lot in front of people close to them. However, what about children who initially talk a lot, then suddenly turn quiet and don't talk if they are not asked? Actually, there are several possible causes for a child who suddenly turns quiet.

# Divorce and parental quarrels

Perhaps many parents are not aware that the problems they have with their partners in marriage can have a negative impact on their children. One of them is the behavior of children who were initially cheerful, now become quiet.

Silence can mean many things, ranging from expressing feelings of sadness, anger, and so on. This silent action is one way for the child to control a situation where he has no right to speak at all.

In fact, when a child suddenly becomes quiet, it could be because the child feels the stress and pressure of problems that arise in the family. You and your partner may feel that separation is the best path for each party.

However, your child doesn't necessarily understand divorce, so your separation can be very painful for him. Therefore, children may choose not to talk much and even 'break down' because they don't know what to do.

# New Brother

If your eldest child suddenly becomes quiet, one reason could be that he or she has just had a new sibling or sibling. Yes, your child will certainly feel happy with the presence of his sibling, but this also arises along with the anxiety he has.

For example, children may be jealous of their new sibling for fear of losing their parents' attention, and you and your partner may also be busy taking care of the younger sibling. For a child who has been the only one, having to share attention is not an easy thing.

That's not to say it's impossible for your child to adapt to the situation. However, at the beginning your child may still struggle hard, until suddenly he becomes a quiet child as a way of self-defense against new conditions.

# Bullying or bullying

The problems children face at school are often the reason why children suddenly don't talk much. Even if you and your child have a very close relationship. This includes unpleasant treatment by schoolmates, one of which is bullying.

Bullying or what is commonly referred to as bullying that occurs in schools can occur in various forms, physically and psychologically. In certain children, the way to deal with this condition is to remain silent. Therefore, children who usually talk a lot, may suddenly become quiet when experiencing this treatment at school.

Ways for parents to deal with quiet children

You may feel worried, confused, or even feel like a failure as a parent when you don't know how to properly deal with a quiet child. Try to stay calm, because there are many ways you can practice dealing with a quiet child.

* Accept children as they are

Reporting from Psychology Today, one way to deal with a quiet child is to accept the child's situation as it is. You can't force your child to have the character you want. In fact, quiet children actually have many advantages that you may not realize.

For example, quiet children tend to be stronger, can control themselves, and care more about their surroundings. In fact, children who don't talk much are usually more sensitive to the feelings and needs of others.

* Do not conclude the child's feelings based on experience

Do not easily conclude the feelings felt by the child. You don't necessarily know how he feels even though you may have experienced something similar. Your assumptions about the condition experienced by the child may be right, but it could be wrong.

Better, invite the child to communicate more until he is comfortable to share his feelings. It's okay to share a personal experience similar to the one he's going through, but never assume you know how he's feeling and then take it for granted.

* Take time to listen to children's complaints

Set aside time to really listen to your child. Don't just listen to their complaints through words. However, try to understand his gestures, attitudes, and habits to better understand the mind of a quiet child.

* Avoid cornering children

Cornering a quiet child by comparing him to other people is not the right way to deal with him. Instead, the child will feel pressured if you force him to be someone else.

For example, avoid saying the words, "How can you make friends if you stay in your room all the time?" or, “Play there, outside, like your brother!” Instead of focusing on the shortcomings of children who don't talk much, try to focus more on their strengths.

* Don't label a quiet child

You who are adults are not necessarily happy if you are labeled by others. Likewise with your child, of course he also does not like being labeled by his parents. Therefore, avoid labeling your child.

Don't say your child is quiet because he's shy. Better say that your child takes longer to adapt to new people and it's not a problem.

Meanwhile, if someone else labels your child, say that that person is still not familiar with your child, therefore the child will talk less in front of him.

Helping quiet children to be more open

After you have successfully dealt with your child at home, now is the time to help your child adapt and socialize with the 'outside world'. This is important because you are not always by your child's side. Therefore, you need to teach children to be more open.

-Train quiet children to socialize

To let your child know how to adapt and deal with new people, you may want to help your child socialize. You can do this by introducing your child to various social situations.

Start with a small social situation first. For example, do a play date or play with a new friend. However, do not force the child to interact in these social situations if he is not ready. The reason is, this can actually trigger anxiety and children are increasingly reluctant to do it.

- Plan carefully

If you want to really help your child socialize with their peers, plan ahead. If your child gets a birthday invitation from a friend, let your child know that it's a good thing to come and wish his friend a happy birthday.

You can help your child to practice dialogue with his friend, for example by pretending to be his friend. This can help the child to be more natural when later having a real dialogue with friends.

- Give the child a compliment

When a child manages to make an interaction with a friend that has never been done before, there is nothing wrong with giving him a compliment. Say that your child is great for having the courage to face his fears. However, make sure that you praise your child in an appropriate manner and not overdo it.

Those are some of the reasons why children become quiet and some ways to deal with them, hopefully it will be useful and thank you for reading.