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1. My wife told me that she needs more space.
I said no problem and locked her out of the house.
2. Customer: The Eggs are extra salty today. Too much salt. Why?
Waiter: Sir! Hen is suffering from high blood pressure.
3. One Friend: How would you like to die?
Other Friend: I would like to die just my grandfather did, peacefully in the sleep, not screaming or yelling like the passengers in the car he was driving......