Not being alone.

More than anything, we probably can't bear the thought of being alone. Of being silent. Of not hearing our own voice. Is that pride? Or are we fixating on our individuality, before anything else? A survival mode is good here and there, but this is no way to live your life. Even if we talk about serious matters, like for example the survival of the human race, we are still coming back, again and again, to the same word: I. How come, and how skilled are we in doing that? Well, very much.

But there is more than that. Being alone is apparently bad for your health (and wealth). Being alone can get you sick, mentally and physically. We are all evolved to be a member of a tribe, to be part of the community. And, while a real one, in the real world, is ideal, even a virtual one is preferred to none. Touch is magic. There was an experiment, long lost in history, made somewhere around 1900, where they discovered that the newborns that are cuddled and caressed got more chances to survive than the ones that are not. Keep in mind, 120 years ago there were many things that could kill you, and the life expectancy of a child was not that great. But feeling loved, and the human touch, these two brought some powerful stuff to the surface, and they alone were making you able to survive. We do not know yet how, not even now, but being in contact with others, somehow, makes us thrive, and be more healthy, on all levels (physical, emotional, mental). One against the entire world. Destined to fail? Two against the world. Well, this sounds epic. Seven against a whole empire? I've just seen this movie. It is a good one.

Couples live longer than single people, the ones with a big circle of friends (I am talking about real ones, not 1000 from Facebook) as much more successful and healthy than the ones without friends. Looks like genetic programming, but maybe is more than that. Maybe is just Magic. The important thing is, that this works. If it is working, do not change it. Right?

But all this must to be genuine. Must be real. We are, by design, looking for groups to accept us. Labels are giving us direction, and are giving our life much more sense. But how good are they? Are we just humans, males, Christians, gay, middle-class, British, or whatever else? We live in a society where labels are important, but the main lesson is that if you end up alone, you die a little every day. Some groups may be better than others, some groups may be worst than others. But you may need them. More than anything else, not, in the post-Covid era. Start small, with a local yoga class, or a chess club, and end up globally, with the World Rocket Scientist Association. You need this. I need this. All of us need this.

Because in the end, what we need is not to get more friends, more labels, or more skills. What we need is more love. This is what we are looking for, most of our lives. This is what we miss.

See you once again tomorrow.
George