Exploring dungeons with Mr. Skeleton, or dungeon crawling as he puts it himself, was not as fun as I thought it would be.
…Now that I think about it, a lot of things regarding adventure and magic aren’t as fun in practice as they are in theory, but hey, at least now I know how to throw fireballs around. That’s always a bonus.
Time flied fast when learning with Mr. Skeleton, and after almost a year of learning with him he decided to take me with him in an excursion deep inside an old dungeon. According to him, one of many old dungeons in the world.
I asked Mr. Skeleton how many dungeons there are, thinking that in his old age maybe he has an idea of it, to which he responded:
“I dunno.” shrugging his shoulders and scratching his skull “Like, every week there’s a new dozen dungeons that pop up somewhere, lost civilizations, lost castles, heck even alien spaceships, they just appear outta nowhere.”
Apparently dungeons are the “main” import of our kingdom, or so he says, thanks to the huge number of them that appear out of thin air with a surprisingly long backstory behind them. Like if someone was making them with the intention of some adventurers walking inside.
We have so many of them that when Mr. Skeleton said ‘let’s explore some dungeons’ he just started walking in a random direction and we ended up finding one dungeon thirty minutes in.
Which brings me to where we are today. Me walking inside the dungeon with a little magical dagger in my hand, spells in my mind and Mr. Skeleton walking behind me, some distance away.
He’s taking the role of ‘emotional support’ and said he’ll only interfere if I’m in real danger, adding that this was a test of sorts, just like how almost everything else he wants me to do is also a test.
Suddenly, as I keep walking into one of the many dark corridors of this place, I hear a click as my right foot steps down. Having familiarized myself with this sound by now, I realize I just activated a trap, so I did the thing I always do when I trigger one by accident.
Kneel down, put my hands on my head, rock back and forth and yell at Mr. Skeleton to help.
“You know, if it was a falling rock you’d be dead by now.” He added from his spot. A small item in his hand.
This time it was a small dart that simply flew by because I had ducked to avoid it, Mr. Skeleton catching it in midair.
“…You’re being really helpful.” I said while picking myself up, trying to put as much sarcasm in my voice as possible.
“You’re welcome!” answered Mr. Skeleton, somehow oblivious to my sarcasm.
Honestly, exploring dungeons isn’t how I expected it to be. I’m spending more time scared of the weird traps that this place has instead of fighting evil mages or dragons or something cool.
Even the mooks inside the dungeon aren’t what I was expecting. I knew I wasn’t going to fight dragons anytime soon but I at least expected to see… I don’t know, goblins or something? Typical level 1 stuff, like in the stories my grandma used to tell and the books Mr. Skeleton has laying around.
Instead, I got skeleton ghosts. Yes, ghosts that are skeletons. Somehow. Or was it ghost skeletons…? Nevermind.
Oh and traps, millions of traps, don’t forget about those.
One has to wonder, how exactly did these people get anything done at all if they had traps in almost every single one of their hallways?
“Hey, Mr. Skeleton?” I decided to ask “If they have these many traps, how did anyone inside this dungeon ever do anything at all?”
He hums “You see Minion, this dungeon was made by old people” He walks over to a wall and knocks on it, for some reason “That means that, by nature, they despise young people, so they decided to make their living space ‘unlivable’ just to spite the future generations that would inevitably end up entering their rooms and looting everything”
“That… doesn’t sound right Mr. Skeleton”
“You clearly underestimate the hatred that old people have for the youth Minion” He added. “I, of course, am immune to it. Me being immortal and all that, so I don’t really age, thanks to that I can’t become old and angry.”
“That’s not… how it works…”
We continued in silence after that, me going through the many hallways making sure to not step in any more traps, though I always did fail on that last one, and fighting the occasional skeleton ghost that appeared.
I wish I had an epic tale of how I beat several dozens of them but… They’re easy to beat. You can’t hit them with normal stuff but magic just kills them. And I’ve been learning magic for a year now.
Yeah, there’s not much fun in that.
Although, it does make sense. I don’t really think Mr. Skeleton would send me to a dangerous place yet… He’s always going on about making sure I’m prepared before doing anything remotely dangerous.
Wished he picked a dungeon where the wall darts weren’t poisonous though.
“Minion!” He suddenly exclaims, taking me out of my own thoughts.
“Bwuh?” I turn around to him
“Look!” He raises his arm, a skeletal hand peeking out of his robes and pointing to the center of the room we’ve just entered.
Mr. Skeleton quickly moves deeper into the room, with me being the one walking behind this time. He stops right next to a pedestal erected in front of a giant wheel with some symbols in it.
“Do you know what this is!?” He says, excitedly.
I don’t know and I’m already dreading the answer, whenever he gets giddy like this…
He takes my silence as an answer though, and continues to fawn over the weird thing in the room.
“It’s a puzzle, Minion! An ancient thingamabob invented by very obstinate old men with no free time to infuriate the explorers of the future who dared trespass on their homes!”
Thankfully, I’ve read on those, so this time I finally have an idea of what Mr. Skeleton is talking about.
According to what my books say about these contraptions… “This means we can’t move on without solving the puzzle?” I ask.
“Yup.” Is Mr. Skeleton’s response. He turns to me before continuing “You’ll probably have to find a way to solve it. Usually they leave an instruction manual or something laying around.” He scratches his skeletal chin as he looks at the puzzle in question.
I sigh, the solution to the puzzle is probably in one of the many many corridors and/or rooms we haven’t checked yet.
Mr. Skeleton mutters, loud enough for me to hear “…Unless we’re talking about really old ancient people… Those tend to forget where they keep their things all the time.”
I sigh and instead decide to brute force my way through, pressing panels and moving the wheel in whatever combination.
What’s the worst that could happen?
After I’m done a series of clicks and hisses fill the room, and before I can realize what’s happening, I can feel the familiar sensation of a dart pressing against my back.
Scratch that, several darts. Why can’t I feel my fingers? Wait why is my vision going dark- Oh no.
…
When I wake up, I’m still in the same room with a killer headache. Mr. Skeleton standing over me, moving a hand over my face and snapping his fingers quickly, trying to make me pay attention to him.
“That’s why we don’t do things willy-nilly Minion, we have to be careful.” Says Mr. Skeleton, always being so helpful.
“…I hate the old dungeon people.” Is my weak response.
Mr. Skeleton just laughs.
University has been a cruel mistress whose grasp I can't seem to get away from, so that's why this one took so long.
it seems like they'll be stuck in that dungeon for a while if he'll keep becoming impatient like tha