It is human nature to have self-doubt. Life can throw some pretty unexpected challenges at you, and these often become the times you question yourself the most. When everything around you is crumbling at your feet, it is difficult not to look back at your life and try to find the exact moment where you went wrong. You will search your past for times when you made a difficult choice, and you will wonder what your life could have been like if you had just chosen differently.
But you did not choose differently. You made a difficult decision in an important moment in your life, and at the time, what you chose was exactly what you wanted. Life is not linear, and we are not meant to stay exactly the same forever. No choice will ever be the perfect choice because life will never be perfect. I know it can be so easy to fall into the trap of imagining an easier life where you made the choice to pursue a “normal” career and live life like you are “supposed” to. That life only seems easier because you are not currently living it. The grass is always greener on the other side, until you get there, and you realize that it looks exactly the same.
No choice comes without difficulties or consequences. This is why it is so important to choose what you love whenever you are able to because no matter which path you choose, you are going to hurt. You are going to struggle. And you are going to wonder why you chose the life that you did. But the difference between choosing a life that you love and a life that you feel like you should love is that even on your worst days, you will be able to find that small glimmer of hope buried deep within that love. When everything else around you is going wrong, you will always be able to find comfort in the choice that you made.
You may not be able to create today, tomorrow, or for the rest of this year, and that is okay. Art will never leave you, even if you have to step away from it for a little while. Whenever you are ready to begin again, art will be there waiting with open arms, just like it was on the day you first chose it.