"the only good thing about hitting rock bottom is the only way to go is up"
I must have heard this from a movie but didn't give it much thought-until today, the way I see it, there is no good thing about hitting rock's bottom, that feeling of being shattered into pieces, the complete realisation that some things are just not meant to be and giving up would be wise.
I guess the motivational speaker didn't think things through-I pondered in the living room while listening to "I don't want to live forever" by Zayn Malik featuring Taylor Swift.
My mind drifted towards her again - the very reason I'm in this dilemma- "what is she doing now? is she smiling? is she thinking about me ?-a small smile formed on my cheek- "is she thinking about him?- and we are back to where we were.
Loving is hard guys, don't believe those things you read in novels, there is no such thing as "happily ever after", it's not some show where a guy meets a girl and boom, they fall in love, it's way complicated than that and I was learning about this now.
What is love anyway? it's just some chemical in the brain urging a Man to choose a partner and procreate and after a while it fades away - Love isn't real. Dad was right, perhaps it's not the time to let all these things bother me with few months to write my final exams and get into the University, I heard University girls are way better than Secondary School girls.
I kept telling myself a lot of things to either condemn the way I feel or distract myself, then I heard it...
"What have you got to lose anyway? Nothing! So why not take that leap of faith?"
It came from the living room-a TV program and it felt directed at me.
"Is this a sign from you God? speak to me for your humble servant is listening"
With new energy pumped into my body -and whatever chemical responsible for this feeling-like the Phoenix, I rose from the fiery blaze of thoughts that suppressed my emotions leaving me completely depressed.
"No way, there's no way I'm going to give up without a fight"-I said to my self as I went to steal meat from the pot (do not try this at home).
In my defense, I was going through an emotional breakdown, thinking burns a lot of calories, one only the thrill of stealing meat from the pot can satisfy.