That day, Hossie took me to a place where he told me we would always meet. Though not as expensive and classy as a place I would have gone with Jide but he promised me that we were going to make more beautiful memories than I and Jide's right there. Trust me, he's been keeping it.
As a young girl, I really didn't have a direction in life. I had a lot of dull moments and had very few friends(more of just talk-mates). So many factors(which would pop up later)contributed to this extremely sadistic way of life plus the fact that I am a MELPHLEG(sure you understand what that means). The endless search for love, the heartbreaks, disappointment, low-self esteem, self-disapproval, fears, doubts, plus suicidal thoughts and attempts(don't judge me)
All these I had to deal with even with Jide around, though I found little solace in him(or so I thought).
Struggling with all of these was more frustrating than the issue itself. It became so difficult to associate with people(nothing like friends existed). Everyone left cos I became extremely boring and difficult.
In all of these, Hossie was more than a saint
While throwing my tantrums, during the mood swings, impatience and crying spells. Never did he criticize me.
All he did was try to help me strengthen my weaknesses and improve on my strengths.
Despite all of these I still missed Jide. I talked about him a lot of times. I knew Hossie wasn't happy, I sincerely wanted him to be happy but my actions proved otherwise.
I KEPT HURTING HOSSIE BUT I FELT HELPLESS.(I didn't want to, it just kept happening).
I kept on pushing him away with my actions but called him with my lips when I needed him. I was using him(yes I was). I felt his hurt, I felt his heart beat recklessly with love.
But I didn't think I was ready to be committed to him despite his own commitment to me.
All his efforts to make me see that there was more to me than I knew proved abortive.
"You have to see beyond where you are now, your content is greater than the container you see baby, trust me" he always says.
"Save me the sermon Hossie, for how long am I going to wait?" I'll sob.
"Just let me be, maybe there's actually no need for hope" "I just want to be alone" I'll say as i walk out on him.
BUT HE STAYED....HE DID.....
WHO ON EARTH IS THIS GUY???!!
