As an addict, I suffered just like the way you're suffering.
I would promise myself that I will never do it again.
Times I got so cross and told God, that if I should do it again, He should kill me!
Mind you I was a Christian, lover of God, but something was at work in me I couldn't explain!
I would unwilling be surfing the internet with shaking hands, I would terrible and yet still look. I could feel my spirit fighting n fighting but always defeated!
I would retreat and cry, fast and pray but immediately after, I would hear the same voice, feel the same pull and the retreat would be defeated!
I kept the laws and regulations, ate the Torah of rules and even had an accountability partner, which I would tell of my misbehavior after the very act!
I stayed away from social media(newsfeed and videos) but after keeping all this rules, I still fell.
Then I found the missing piece!
I mean the rules are helpful, accountability partners, excellent! yet it isn't enough!
What is missing is INTENSITY, you come to such an energy level in prayers and your chase after God, that the doors open by this act in your soul become shut!
Here you die to some things without even noticing. This quantum power comes through in continue prayers!
They said long prayers doesn't matter. It does! At least I know it kills the man. The man dies to appetites!
You will lose taste for a lot of things! For time always seem not to be enough!
At this point, it means you have gained intensity, and every increase in intensity wars against the flesh!
Just so you know, a man that prays, doesn't have a word of his own(I mean his word are likely to change).
When he says, let me sleep over it, be sure you're on a balance. God might just say contrary!