Yesterday in ridiculous bureaucracy and unnecessary paperwork: The tale of the SIM cards
Yesterday, I went shopping for new SIM cards to put into my new phone, since the one I currently have is failing and I suspect it will soon give up the ghost. Here's what happened:
I walk into the MTN store at the mall to buy a new SIM card. They ask me for my ID and proof of residence, which I give them. Five bucks later, I have a new SIM and it's set up and working with my phone. All good, I think. I inquire about their advertised deal of 160 GB for the same price as I'm paying for my 40 GB. It turns out that I still get 40 GB I can use; the rest is segmented in a different ratio to what I currently have. (Id est, the deal dictates with which services I can use certain amounts of data; it's not at my discretion.) The woman with whom I dealt (Gail) straight up tells me not to change because it's a practically useless deal and there's no advantage changing from what I've got.
On my way to the Cell C store, I walk past the parastatal telecom's store (the necrotelecomnicon) and pay it no attention, since it's known locally as Hellkom and their customer service centre might as well be the Athiest Helpline (you can call, but nobody answers).
I walk into the Cell C store, which is worryingly empty. (This is not surprising; their service is also shocking and their prices ridiculous.) I explain to them that I tried to transfer my Cell C SIM from one phone to another, but was shown an error message about a twelve-pin code being required to unlock the network, but have no idea what that might be. The woman behind the counter tells me that I should call technical support to resolve the issue as it's not one they've ever encountered. This is just so I can take a SIM out of one phone and put it into another, but that's apparently as difficult for Cell C as trying to open a crypto wallet without knowing the password nor seed. I tell her it's not worth the bother; I'd rather get a new SIM from another service provider and walk out in disgust. Frankly, I'm not surprised.
On my way to the Vodacom shop, I notice an ad from the parastatal that they're offering an LTE contract of 160 GB a month for the same price as MTN are providing me with 40 GB a month for the same price. Sure, I technically get 60 GB a month with MTN, but it's segmented (meaning I can only use the additional 20 GB for video and audio streaming with service providers I don't nor want to use, so it's useless to me). The Telkom data isn't segmented. The only caveat is that they need a bank statement for three months. Mine is going to show no income for the past three months, so it's a no go until I'm earning again.
On the last part of my mall visit, I head to Vodacom to give them a try for a pay-as-you-go SIM. It takes them a while to get to me, which is fine; I'm not in any rush to get out and home. I tell the sales agent/representive what I want. She goes and gets a SIM card out of a draw and hands it to me with a USSD code to dial in order to activate it. No money changes hands, no paperwork is done. I ask about RICA and checking my details. She tells me that's unnecessary; the blasted RICA process has already been done and they're giving them away for free.That's right; Vodacom are giving away RICAd SIMs for free. Taken aback at how easy, quick and simple that was once someone attended to me, I asked why I bothered to go to MTN instead of visiting Vodacom first. She just laughs and shakes her head.
MTN have always given me excellent customer service (or so I thought), but they've just been scuppered by Vodacom and, shockingly, the parastatal telecom. Cell C, on the other hand, have been dodgy since day one and remain so. Come on, you two; pull up your socks and look sharp!