This piece originally appeared in the "Letters to the Editor" portion of my local newspaper. It caught my attention since I am a fan of bananas and have recently been collecting Banano (BAN) from both faucets and Jungle TV.
The writer's "plight", about which he complains, did amuse me somewhat, but it is actually no laughing matter, on closer inspection. Personally, I have no issue with the dimensions or quality of this particular fruit, although it would indeed be great if they were cheaper per Kg. Then again, I don't shop in Howick. Perhaps Mr. Norman might like to shop around or let go of his nostalgia? If he really feels strongly about it, perhaps he might even like to go so far as to do some research into how the Panama disease wiped out the Gros Michel cultivar of bananas, leaving growers scrambling to keep business going and leading to the introduction of the similar-looking (but inferior tasting) Cavendish cultivar. For those who're interested, here are two videos on the matter:
Below is Mr. Norman's letter.
Those who regularly shop for bananas will have noticed that they are getting longer and fatter every year, so big in fact that you are lucky to get five bananas to a kilogram.
They are growing nearly as fast as the price, which has crept up from $0.53 to $1.06 per Kg in record time.
My problem is that our bananas are now only edible for a few days. Why is this?
Now, I wouldn't bother shopping for them if it was only for my own consumption, but I have given an undertaking to my feathered friends that I will supplement their diet with a regular handout of bananas.
The problem of low quality becomes very relevant: You know the bananas are not up to scratch when the mouse birds circle the bush containing the bananas, look down at the food on offer and fly off.
Similarly, the bulbuls gather around the bananas, as if administering the last rights, and after expressing their noisy disgust at the offering, fly off without sampling them.
The only conclusion I can draw about our poor quality bananas must be that Howick citizens are not the fighting type (unless they are still attached to a spouse, but for how long I know not). This is probably due to our age mix, with fifty percent (50%) creeping up to seventy (70) and the other fifty percent between seventy and eleventy (Zuma scale).
Oh, wouldn't it be nice to have a good old-fashioned banana, full of flavour and quality guaranteed by the venerable old Banana Board, bless its collective souls? Those were the good old bad old days when most things still worked!
Stand up for your right to good quality bananas; the birds will certainly appreciate it!
— Alan Norman
Lead image: Photo by Anna Shvets (SHVETS production) from/on Pexels