Today, at work, something awkward and uncomfortable happened, thanks to my White Privilege.
I work at a kennels as an animal handler/exerciser. The business is run by family friends. They're pragmatic, down-to-Earth people without airs nor graces and they're definitely not mean-spirited. They treat their staff well, as they do their friends. Still, something unpleasant happened, though I don't wish to place blame on them. If anything, the blame lies with me for not politely refusing their hospitality/generosity.
My job at the kennels is by no means high-powered or cushy. I muck out kennels and pick up dog shit like everybody else. I'm not elevated above the other staff in terms of my position and/or authority. I like to think we get on well and there are no feelings of animosity towards me from them or vice versa.
Socially, however, things are different when it comes to my relationship with my employers (one of the reasons why working for friends has its pitfalls). I am grateful to them for the employment because it both gives me a job I love doing (even with the negative/unpleasant aspects) and has helped me out of tight financial spots many a time.
It is not unusual for my employers to take a tea break during quiet periods in the morning, leaving the office in someone else's care (sometimes mine). It is also not unusual for them to invite me to join them, seeing as I am a family friend. To the best of my knowledge, they haven't extended this courtesy to the rest of their staff. Until now, I've thought nothing of accepting, but I see now that this is unfair, if unintentionally so. I am effectively being given preferential treatment because of my social standing (and, possibly unconsciously, because of my privilege as a formerly middle-income white person).
What brought this to my attention is that while I was having a tea break with the bosses, one of the other members of staff (who happens to help out with housework for extra income) walked past, very much on the job. Nobody said anything and her attitude wasn't obviously envious or hostile, but I was very much aware that the situation wasn't right.
Now, this puts me in a difficult position: By accepting the tea break, I'm being unfair to my colleagues. By refusing it, I'm (possibly) being unfair to my friends (and, denying myself something I want, especially since I often skip breakfast in order to get to work in time and end up very hungry by the time I leave). Additionally, acknowledging the situation and apologising to the people on either side of the imbalance could unintentionally create bad feeling and put people's backs up. Obviously, I don't want this (especially on the side of my employers). As much as I don't care a great deal about what people think of me, I really don't want to make enemies of yet more friends and/or colleagues. On the other hand, ignoring it won't solve anything, either. I'm really not sure what I should do about the situation, if anything.
This is why I prefer relationships with dogs to relationships with people. Dogs might respect someone and accord that person authority/leadership, but their hierarchies are simpler and devoid of politics. I'm seldom in doubt where I stand with dogs: They like me, they tolerate me or they don't. With people, I very seldom have a clue.
Lead image: Photo by Kindel Media on Pexels