The true measure of human strength/dominance is not (and has never been) through displays of aggression or force, but of compassion, empathy, gentleness, kindness. One can be strict and authoritative without being cruel or abusive. If you do not grok this, you are not dominant.
I abhor the "There is only one Twue Way™" attitude almost everywhere I find it, because 95-99% of the time, it's then followed by some arrogant sack of shit attempting to foist his world view on others to the exclusion of all others. However, founts of Wisdom such as The Tao de Ching; The Art of War; The Art of UNIX Programming; Being Oneself; Gateless Gate, Rootless Root; The Tao of Programming; The Pragmatic Programmer; Code Complete; Clean Code; The Clean Coder; The Meditations of Marcus Tullius Aurelius and the Collected Letters of Marsilio Ficino exist. So, please indulge me as I don that hat for five minutes ...
The One True Way
The true measure of human strength/dominance is not (and has never been) through displays of aggression or force, but of compassion, empathy, gentleness, kindness. One can be strict and authoritative without being cruel or abusive. If you do not grok this, you are not dominant.
"If a woman is not submissive to a man, it is not because she lacks the ability to submit; rather, he lacks the ability to create for her a place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees." ⸺ Anonymous
If you have no mastery over yourself (your mind, your emotions, your body, your finances or your schedule), you are not a Master of anything (except, perhaps, disaster). Men who cannot govern themselves are not fit to govern others.
Y'all motherfuckers need John Warren and Adwaita/Vedic philosophy, respectively.
"But when the perfect comes, the partial passes away. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways. Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. …" ⸺ 1 Corinthians, 13:10-12
A "real man" (as far as such a thing exists) does not gain strength nor power by oppressing non-men; he celebrates them, respects them and is decent to them because they are people in their own rights, with their own strengths, faults, perspectives and sanskara (lit. heart scars from the past: emotional baggage and psychological drama) to deal with, just as he has/does. He may rule them with an iron fist in a velvet glove, but he does not think of himself as better or of them as lesser.
I'm not going to pretend I'm there yet, but I'm on the path and trying to stay on the bus. Everybody's got to get on it at some point. It doesn't matter where you sit as long as you're on it, but props to those who're out in front; you have my respect and admiration.
Canids in Captivity and the Myth of Alpha Males
As for those of you with alfalfa between your ears (where your brain should be), I can't determine if you need Biology or Anthropology classes, but you've clearly gone to seed.
I work with animals on weekends. I observe their temperaments and characters (how they act towards me and each other). I walk into their space and sit still for at least a minute or two (depending on the animal, sometimes as long as ten), just watching. I can usually tell who's all bluster and bravado but really needs a kind word or two, and who's likely to bite. (It's almost always the Malteses and terriers. The Dobermans, Pointers, Pitbulls, Rottweilers and Shepards (power breeds) are usually chilled and sociable, sometimes even timid.) I've got a pretty good feel for who is a big teddy bear to be treated with the gentleness accorded to an infant, and who needs the strictness of the headmaster. Yes, I've been bitten before, but only once and while it was deep enough to leave a scar, it was a warning (do not do that again), not deadly intent. Don't try to pass off yourself as a top dog with big dominant energy if you're not; I can spot that deception from a hundred meters away and will have my hand on your neck so that you can't move your head and will be hauling you back to your cage before you know it. You play nice and be a good boy and I promise you, you'll get all the loves and scratches you want, maybe even a biscuit. Now stop barking and come say "hello".
A case in point: Today I exercised a couple of magnificent pitbulls that were, without doubt, top dogs. There was no mistaking their energy. From the moment I opened the gate to the exercise yard to the moment I left it, they exuded confidence, poise and maybe a bit of swagger. I am not, generally, someone who goes through life with a lot of that. There's no way I could possibly have been able to get them out of their pen, played rough with them and got them back into it without being mauled, if you believe in the myth of Alphas. Yes, I was nipped hard enough to draw blood by the male, but we were rough-housing. It's how some dogs play. Pits have both very sharp teeth and strong jaws; it's to be expected. Besides, although I did feel at least a little scared at first, I never felt endangered. Fake it 'til you make it, right? The thing is, though, that there's no such thing as an Alpha male or alpha female. (Seriously, get with the program. Even the author of that line of thinking/reason has debunked it and that has nothing to do with "being pressured by Feminazis", you conspiracy-theory-reading lunatic). There is, however, dominance and dominant energy. I just happened to read their dominance and not only match it, but deliberately exceed it, without any complaint from either.
While the female was clearly submissive to both of us, it was apparent she wouldn't submit to just any male, was dominant in her own right. So too with humans; the women whom have been prepared to submit to me (or have at least claimed as much) have not done so because of me choosing that title for myself (which I never have). They've done so because they have seen me assert my dominance. (Actions do, after all, speak louder than words.) A dominant animal is not loud, cruel or mean. A dominant individual is quietly commanding, confident and firm, resolute. It is possible to be both the iron fist in the velvet glove and the support system with empathy and a box of tissues.
Now, I happen to be the type of man who is not interested in someone who identifies as submissive. I go for primal and dominant women who are forces with which to be reckoned in their own right, but are happy to submit to me of their own accord (not because I try to force, coerce or otherwise pressure them into it; I don't need to and I wouldn't, any way).
There was a point to this, somewhere, but I forget what it was. I've gained the trust of, exercised and played with nearly fifty dogs today, having slept maybe four hours at most this morning. That's a hell of a lot of both physical and emotional labour to meet a number of complete strangers at the level at which they need to be met and gain their trust/submission. My short-term memory's not what it was. So I hope you can overlook the fact that my train of thought got derailed some way from the station.