Unplanned but never Unwanted

As I continue my motherhood journey there are several things that I have been very conscious about.

Personally speaking, I never regretted having a child. They have been a fuel to my soul. I was once a plain breadwinner and I got no ambition towards my future because I was so focus of providing for my family.

I happen to pass by in my newsfeed a certain qoute one time it says, "If you don't know what you are living for then God will give you a child". Because indeed my life was just all chaos and boring. I go to work, go home and repeat. I pay bills, pay debts then reloan then pay again then repeat.

I realized, it is so important to plan your life and what's your next move. If you can plan of helping other people or your family for that matter make sure you have something left for you.

One day, it was actually April 1 of 2017 when I had to have myself checked because I have been vomiting since March 26 and been absent since then. I told the receptionist of the clinic that I would want to meet an Internal Medicine Specialist or doctor but then she insisted to have me checked by an OB-Gyne instead when he asked if I remembered having my period and can't even answer because I wasn't so conscious with it.

I learned by that time that even when we are single we have to be very keen with our red days, how many days it occurs and if theres any stinky smell different from the usual before it may mean somethings wrong inside.

When I met the doctor she asked me what I feel usually before I vomit or if there's any sensitivity with small and etc. Then, she gave me a pregnancy test kit. I was even trying to decline the test and told her I am not pregnant and that I am just suffering an ulcer but the doctor insisted.

A couple of minutes had passed an I saw 2 lines in the kit which I never understood. (yeah I am really not into these things LOL)

I showed it to the doctor and she joked, "Oh see, the ulcer could've been so cute!"

And by that time I really don't know what to say. I can't utter any word at all because I was speechless and I can't explain the overflowing emotions that I am feeling the moment. Even when I am typing this right now I still remembered how I felt before. And up to now despite me having my 3 years old baby and 1 year old as my youngest still I can't believe that I was able to carry them in my womb. It is when you got pregnant that you felt how amazing God is! Imagine? A woman can bare a child. Another life to live and have their own legacy in the future!

My babies were delivered via C-Section. My first delivery was way painful and traumatic because it was all new to me and I had to experience labor pains while as for my 2nd baby I was kinda prepared of what might happend plus it was a scheduled operation so I never have to experience the labor pain. And mind you, labor pain is very very very painful. Like the superlatives or all the superlatives LOL!

So to those guys reading this if your wife gave birth or is about to please take good care of her. The journey is never easy its like your feet is already 6 ft. beneath the ground.

Now, just a year after, t'was like a month after my eldest birthday I got worried because I never had my period though I wasn't that nervous anymore. I took PT by myself. The 2nd line though was kinda blurry but when I asked my close friends they told me it is positive. So I had to again prepare myself because to be honest I never expected to get pregnant that easily. I was way too stress with work and so as my partner. Though there was no birth control because there were a lot of reported side effects. Yet, I was so happy. Very happy that I could get to have another one to treasure.

Having a baby would seem like your heart isn't beating for you anymore. It is beating for them.

I was mocked for not planning. Some even laughed at my misfortunes because the moment that I had them was the moment when my brother was about to graduate. I had to save for his tuition fee and look for means in order to have myself check and pay for my prenatal, laboratories and vitamins. I messed up once but despite my 2nd baby being unplanned I never let having her become a burden to anyone. The moment that I knew that I was pregnant with my second child I then planned out everything including my maternity leave and how will I budget everything out.

Thank God I survived my 2nd major operation. Now here's a glimpse with my lil angels during their first birthday:

Disclaimer: Lead Image source is unsplash.

Finally, I have shared with you my princesses. They are the most precious ones and my treasured ones. Thank you for reading this article. Have a blessed holidays everyone!