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Based on my understanding, these are the topics that are sensitive to talk about. Examples are:
People don't usually talk about this because it may bring up negative arguments to others or unhealthy debate which may cause chaos. But I just want to ask and sort of see things on read.cash community's perspective if what is your opinion with this statement:
"GET MARRIED FIRST OR LIVE IN BEFORE GETTING MARRIED?"
I have known this community for quite awhile and I am confident that we are all professional on our field.
Personally speaking, I am also doing this to see if someone can put some senses on me.
You see, my mom used to tell me to just LIVE IN with the guy first before I decide to marry someone. Because she wanted me to know if the man is good enough to be with me forever coz if not then better let it go. Marriage would only add up to the burden when at the end you would have to separate ways because you are not compatible.
Truth be told I see a lot of fail marriages. Wherein, the couple would only see their true colors once they will be on the same house. Those attitude that they have not seen before when they were just plainly dating would then be visible after marriage. The man you believed to be loving and caring might actually be someone who could beat you to death.
I cannot blame my mom though because ever since her ancestors the ladies on our family (mother side) are not lucky with the man they chose to marry. Even my parents also has their issues with betrayal and my mom would want me to easily let go the person without a marriage holding me just because of a last name.
But then, I currently have 2 kids with my partner and there are cases when I get to question myself if its okay to just live like this til I grow old. There are cases when we fight because our attitude or decision would not coincide and some cases when we're okay. I am thinking if how my kids would react if they know in the future that me and their father isn't married yet.
But then, I am also thinking that if its your call to do it then God would find a way. There are cases when my partner would talk about marriage but not always and on my own perspective, if he is really willing to marry me he would find ways to fill in the gap in between our relationship and do something with the things that we need in order to make it possible.
There are just certain things that is eventually making me stop of proactively asking him with his plans. I want him to take some actions. So I just pray to God so he could be the one to do wonders.
Years ago, he gave me this ring all of a sudden. Guess that was my birthday. I asked are you proposing? He said not yet. That is a promise that I will.
Dunno when he is gonna do his promise though but as of the moment I am also observing everything about him.
But if I follow my culture and religion, living together unmarried is way against it. Though we aren't really that strict on those guidelines but that's how it is supposed to be.
Our parents on both sides kinda respect our decisions though and both are just waiting as to when we could decide to be as one in the altar. Maybe it is not meant to happen now but in time, hopefully. As a woman I also dreamed of getting married but my partner wouldn't wanna settle for civil wedding despite the fact that we already have kids. He wanted it to be in church. So I would have to wait and see if how will he make that possible.
Or maybe I should look for a different partner? HAHAHA kidding!
But you know what, we've been together for 9 years running 10 years. We started to have our own family when we were going 6 or 7 years. Since my eldest is now 3 years old. So we've been dating for quite awhile really. It is not easy for me to just neglect those years we've been through that is why I am considering the thought that maybe someday we could face God together.
Anyhow, thank you for reading my article. I hope I didn't bore you single second as I really appreciate you for reaching til the bottom. Pretty please share your thoughts. It would mean a LOT.