Can anyone ever understand a Mother?

Since I have given birth to my 3rd child my situation has never been better.

Today, I am writing so to vent out my pain and to avoid self destruction.

For 2 weeks now I have not seen my kids. I got sick but really the reason is I got no money to pay for fare going to them. My supposed to be fare going some miles to see them is already sent to buy their needs.

Earlier, I called and had a video call because I missed them so bad. Then my 2nd child said,"Ma, you know what I cried here earlier because you did not come home". No one will ever understand how painful it is for a Mom not to provide the needs of her kids nor to be with them physically.

I am never someone who dream of extravagant, but once I get off debt which was caused when I fell ill when I was pregnant, I will surely look for a job that would make me go near them.

My situation is never easy. I pain to see my kids especially my 7 month old baby away from me when they needed me the most and because I need to be the one to work.

I need to vent out because my anxiety and depression keeps kicking in. No one would ever understand my pain. Everyone would keep telling me,"As long as the kids are able to eat and play they should be okay"....

That is what others try to believe. But as someone who never had any parents for PTA Meeting nor recognition I can relate to the pain that my children are feeling.

I am very much in the edge right now. I know I got what it takes to apply for a better job, look for part time but because of the pain that I am going through, anxiety, it makes me idle and just lay in bed then cry my heart out.

How will I ever survive this?

Will I?

Help me God....

Glez