Personally, i am indifferent about marriage and the road that leads to it isn’t logical to me. it think we have it all wrong or not. Religion, Love, Society, Companionship, Sense of worth and so on are some of the reasons we get married. I’ll like to talk about “Love” ❤️as it seems to be the most important of them all.
Irrespective of the prominent reason(s) why people seem to get married, love still comes in play one way or the other. What i don’t seem to understand is why people confuse love- the feeling with LOVE - the verb. Marriage is an agreement between two people (or more). The part of our brain that should process marriage is called the “Neocortex”
The Neocortex is responsible for analytical and constructive reasoning that is, things we can explain and give meaning to. Now there is the limbic brain system which process things like emotions, memories and simulations (arousal and the likes). I’ll like to use LOVE to represent the verb and love to represent the feeling.
If you ask anyone why they love who they love, they’ll most likely blush and say stuffs like “I like the person’s smile, the way they walk and talk and so on. They can’t really explain why because it is the limbic part of the brain that controls love.
I’ll try as much as possible not to go off the subject matter.
LOVE is different from love.
When you marry someone because you LOVE them, you’ll do better than when you marry because of love (Do get me wrong, love too is really important). Believe me, love is the first thing that jumps out of the window when you get down the road of marriage but actually love is one of the ways you express LOVE (If you are confused, I differentiated the meaning of love and LOVE as used in this article earlier). One can go from LOVE to love and vice versa. You express LOVE through love, giving advice and guidance, motivation, providing strength and acting as a support block, monitoring (positively though) all these and more. I tell you there are a million ways to express LOVE.
Sadly😔, love dies or rather fades away. It fades because love is objective. LOVE is also objective but in a different way. You LOVE your mum, dad and siblings, but you love your best friend, that guy with the hottest body in class or the prettiest lady at work. Like I said earlier, one can go from love to LOVE. You can go from loving your friends to LOVING them, same thing applies to that hot guy in your class.
Have you ever wondered why you LOVE your parents and siblings the way you do? Unconditionally? It is because the LOVE you have for them is circumstantial, relative, rational, and analytical and so on. It comes from the Neocortex system of the brain. You can explain why you love them. Like is said earlier, love is one of the ways you can express love, which is why a mother will jump into a fire she knows she shouldn’t jump into to save one of the five children. At this instance, she reasons with the limbic system and goes with her gut feeling. A more rational thing would have been for her to wait for the fire department. Harsh but true.
The more rational thing to do when trying to go through the journey of marriage with someone will be to think. To try to see the end from the beginning (sadly, people don’t think anymore).
You love this girl, you want to marry her because of love, well. She’s not the only one you are going to love, you are going to love that actress on TV, that model, that girl in your street, see you are going to love countless no of ladies before you die. If you base your marriage on only love, then there might be problems.
love is a fruit of LOVE
When you don’t love someone anymore, LOVE them (In the case of married couples). You have probably heard of couples that have had more than one weddings just to reaffirm their vows right? It is probably because they are going through love again.
love is a feeling. There is a part of our brain that stores feelings (I can’t remember but it is either the left part or right part of our brain). Whenever we taste something sweet like chocolate for the first time, we go “AWOL, woah, wow”. When we take it the second time, we know what to expect so instead of saying AWOL< we say things like this stuff is really good. The point is every feeling never really dies (I know I said love dies but I was wrong). It gets stored, waiting for something to bring it back.
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The goodnews now is love too never really dies, but like every other feeling, it goes away for a while, this is where LOVE comes in.
With LOVE, you suffer to make the other person happy or feel good, you make sacrifices, and you stand by them through thick and thin, then guess what happens? love is back. Whenever it goes away, you can bring it back. I can’t say for sure that there is a way to bring love back—I think it is unique to every couple- but you can always bring it back.
If the road that leads to marriage is prominently based on LOVE, than other things- love, religion, and so on, marriages will last longer than it is doing these days.
Just my opinion
I hope you enjoyed reading?
Hmm, this article forces one to think about certain matters of life