Unfortunately, fathers don't get the attention of the world just like mothers do on their day. I wouldn't want this post to be a discriminating one because I am not trying to talk about which gender is perfect but I just want to make us understand that our parents deserve to be treated with love without partiality.
I keep wondering why it is like that and I see a lot of factors why fathers ain't getting much love from their children in the world today. There is a difference between being a father and a responsible father and I think this is the foundation of every problem children have with their fathers. Without argument, you do agree with me that it is easier to be a father than to become a responsible father.
The difference between the two is just the willingness to embrace the responsibility of the family, there are times when it becomes tough that we don't want to continue bearing the pain anymore. We must understand that we signed up for it the moment we take that woman we care so much about to the altar.
A lot of people want to be referred to as a father when they are not while some are true fathers but not treated as one. The role of fatherhood is mostly about responsibilities and I say a lot that people shouldn't attempt it if they ain't ready to make sacrifices.
It starts from paying bills for shelter, feeding, education, clothing, social stuff, and others, my dad would say "never marry a woman who has nothing to offer because when the responsibility because unbearable, you someone who is always willing to support you.
Taking responsibility is what makes you a father because the number of kids you bring to the world without caring for them doesn't qualify you to be called a father.
I have come to learn that the pain is the sacrifice that we must pay as a father, the terrible thing is that there are times when the wife and kids don't even appreciate it but we must carry on to make sure things are in good shape with the family.
I feel sick when I see kids condemning their dad for what he can't do instead of appreciating them for doing the best they can.
I don't blame the kids who don't see their father struggles because he is not always available to spend time with them just because he has the duty of making ends meet for the family, it is the duty of the mother to always make the children understand what the father is going through and why he isn't always available and that would make the kids see their father sacrifice.
I once lived as a neighbor to a family that has a similar life I talked about in the previous paragraph.
This man lost his job and couldn't get one that would pay the bills, he got a minor job that was stressful but earned good money. It was an evening job and he doesn't work in the morning so that's when he can rest.
The kids don't see him around frequently because they are at school whenever he is at home and they are not happy about it. On this fateful day, the kids were on holiday and the father took them along to work because the kids insisted that want to know why they don't have that family time anymore.
The eldest was a girl, she cried when she got home because she didn't expect her dad to be offloading goods from containers shipped from other countries.
If the kids never went to the workplace, they do believe that he just decided to snub them and the man made a day on weekends to have a good time with the kids and it made the love grow more between them.
This is the situation of many families as well and it gets worse when the mother isn't carrying the kids along with their father situation, I see no reason why a woman should feel like a superhero while the husband is trying to make ends meet. All the struggles he is going through are for you and the kids to have a good life and it would cruel to make the kids look like he wasn't there for them.
My mum had a way of making us miss our day when we were younger, my dad got a transfer from Lagos to another state at his workplace and only comes home when he is chanced.
Every night my mom would get some biscuits and juice, she will give it to us in the morning and claim that my dad came home over the night and return very early in the morning. The trick worked for a long time and it made us miss our dad a lot. Even when they are not on good terms, she didn't let that affect our relationship with him.
Message to all fathers:
Providing for the family's needs is very important but we must never lose the bond we have with the family while doing so. Money can buy every material thing in the world and yet still won't maintain the love that once existed in the family.
No matter what happens, we must let our presence in the family be vacant. There are times when kids need more than just the things you are offering, they just want you to be available and spend some good time with them.
Message to Mothers:
You are doing a great job keeping the kids in shape while their father is away but never for any reason make the kids feel like their father isn't doing anything whereas he is doing a lot.
Always make them see what is keeping the family moving, the kids would grow up to be fathers and mothers someday, whatever you have made them believe will influence their homes in the future.
Message to children:
If you know what fathers go through to pay your bill, you will never take their love and sacrifice for granted. When I was a kid, I was that too but I have taken the role of a father to my younger one's and it has made me understand what it means to be a father.
How would you feel if you grow up and your kids don't appreciate you for everything you are doing for them?
A lot of fathers have met with their death while trying to play their role and they don't deserve to be forgotten.
Let always love and appreciate them.
Happy Father's Day.
Indeed, fathers don't get the attention they deserve because everyone expect us to be strong forgetting we need attention and care too. I have said it to many people also that most people are just sperm donors and not a father. Thriving on the responsibility and trying to balance them while being there and involved makes you a father.
I can imagine what that father had to do to put food on the table for his children and it would make the children appreciate better while seeing him offload those.
I see the father in you, brother. Happy Father's Day.