Letting You Go: An Owner's Perspective.

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It’s been a month, back the October 4 at 3 p.m. when you permanently leave me.

It's been a month and I still can't believe you're gone; you were always my haven, my escape, my best pal, and without having you in my side still aches.

In July when I was in 9th grade when I first saw you, you were just a substitute for my lost puppy named Mocha. I didn’t like you to be honest for me it’s a fact that my lost puppy was forgotten just like that but for the very first time that I hold you look me directly in the eyes, it’s like telling me that you know what I have been feeling that day. I easily get attached to you and whenever school ends I always look forward to seeing you at our front door waiting for me excitedly. You were a very remarkable dog in our barangay, knowing that you were always with us whenever we attended mass, and even our Parish church adored you since you were seen as a person who was very dedicated to protecting your owner.

It's as if you've been taken from me since you were a puppy, just like Mocha, when you went missing. I was devastated that day, but thankfully my father found you. There was also an accident when you were caught by a dog catcher in our city; thankfully, with the help of my father and our Parish church, you were released. I gradually noticed that you were traumatized by that event; you were afraid to go outside those days, but you recovered so quickly that even I didn't realize it as we enjoy our time spent together eating outside in our favorite place where I usually eat lugaw (Potage) and ballot (Duck Egg). In my lugaw, I was the one who ate the chicken meat, while you got the bones. Those were priceless moments.

However, 2021 was not our year you were hit by a car right in front of my eyes last August, and I was too afraid that you'll leave me at the time. I am grateful to God for giving me the courage to save you. Your healing process consumes the majority of my time, but it is not a bother to me you are more important to me than anything else. And my worst nightmare came true last month when you got a fever. I was so worried about it, but I figured you'd get over it. I noticed you couldn't walk properly on September 29th, and you lost your balance just standing. I have to carry you whenever I feed you. I bought a variety of medicines just to save you. Three days had passed with no signs of improvement, but I was confident that you would have made it through. My family kept telling me to talk to you and express my gratitude for being such a wonderful dog for the past five years, but I didn't have the courage, so I stayed by your side, patiently feeding you and massaging your paralyzed body. I even woke up in the middle of the night to check on you. Your fifth day made me realize the severity of your situation; I'm not ready to let you go, but I couldn't bear seeing you struggle to survive. At exactly 7 a.m., I summoned the courage to express my deepest gratitude and tell you that you are free to leave this world because I didn't want you to suffer any longer. Another day had passed, and I was just waiting for you to let go. On October 4th, at 3 in the afternoon, you peacefully passed away. My father was getting ready on burying you; I couldn't come because I was too devastated inside, but I couldn't bring myself to cry in front of my family because I knew they were worried about me as well. I carried you to put you in your coffin so I could hug you one last time, and I repeated your favorite chants, which I always say whenever I call you. “Vana, Vana… Vana tara gagala. Vana, Vana tara sisimba”. I missed you, buddy! Vana, I missed you.

It still feels strange when you're no longer there to greet me when I go out and return home. f I could have the chance to let you live I would do anything,  it had been a month and I still couldn't accept your death. Letting go of all of our shared memories has a devastating impact on my entire system; strangely enough, you've started appearing in my dreams, it's as if you're an angel now, protecting me even in another dimension.

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For a dog owner, pet owner just like me, please love your pet as a best friend as a part of your family their loyalty couldn’t compare to anything in this world. As an owner they treat you as their world and in return please treat them kindly, we couldn’t escape time specifically we couldn’t escape death even for them so treat each time with your pet as golden memory that you both could treasure even in their deathbeds.

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