Release of a lost femininity

Every time I get up and look in the mirror, all I see is someone trying to be a woman, her femininity damaged, feeling grimly incomplete.

Every month a funeral veil covers my eyelids and my soul, failed attempts, lost hopes; all my mind lost, those days (I don't exist). I feel that everything around me is disjointed.

Inert, almost lifeless, month after month I am afraid of what will happen, trying to accept the unacceptable. With all those overflowing tears impossible to contain the first day, alone in my room demanding myself to heal all that incomplete part inside of me.

Alone in my room dying inside, day after day, month after month, year after year, I see the arrival of new cousins ​​and nephews. I am no longer the same, I am no longer anywhere, my heart is broken and it is ceasing to shine.

I am no longer the same, I am no longer the same... The years are reflected in my body, a deep fear of not finding what I wanted. A deep fear of knowing that time is running out... Sadness of knowing that what we women were created for (I can't do it).

The only thing that sometimes comforts me is my beautiful nephews with whom my sisters were blessed; Sometimes I think I lose faith, sometimes I think I lose my breath. I close my eyes and wait for a new dawn and see what the breeze brings me, see what life brings me... THERE ARE TIMES WHEN ALL THESE THOUGHTS SUFFOCATE ME.