Silent Dreams

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3 years ago

Chapter 2


" I do not comprehend why we must hurry, hurry, hurry, from home - and then wait three and a half hours on the wharf at New York harbor because some ignorant navvy got his orders confused! Sarah Jones Hopewell, her face flushed, spun her parasol in irritation, slumped her shoulders and sulked against a pile of luggage boxes.
Her husband paid no attention to her. Martin Hopewells gaze was fixed on the ship he was impatient to board. It was already late afternoon, and the ship was not yet ready! His expression left no doubt he was furious over the delay.
A little apart from Martin and Sarah, their daughter Suzzana _ a dark haired woman of almost twenty _was perched on a packing box. Margaret Duffy stood in front of Suzzana, smiling prettily. A plump but shapely matron in her late twenties, she was like childlike in her open hearted enthusiasm for the least thing that pleased her. Suzzana was soon to become Margaret Duffys sister _in_ law, and it was obvious that Mrs. Duffy drew considerable pleasure from accompanying the younger woman.
Isn't this marvellous, Suzzana? Smell the tar and salt and all of it. Aren't you thrilled to be off on a sea voyage? Margaret waves her frilled parasol at the wharf scene, taking in the coils of rope, the bustling stevedores and the forest of masts that stood like tally sticks against the twilight sky. Hat a marvelous ship she is!
The Belle Soeur was a French packet leased by Hopewell Mills and scheduled to make the New York to Savannah run at top speed with an almost empty hold. In Savannah she would "lift" a cargo of cotton to run up the coast to the northern city. The cotton would go by canal from New York to Hopewell Mills in Amoset, Massachusetts. There it would be made into a coarse, durable cotton cloth popular among the immigrant populations. The convenient shipping and manufacturing arrangement had made Martin Hopewell a rich, powerful and much_hated man in both the North and South.
    Suzannah moods was depressed. Lately, her thoughts all had some darkness shadowing them. When she was contemplative, these shadows lurked threatening, at the boarder of her consciousness. Noting Suzzana moodiness, Margaret could not keep silent
"I'm concerned about you Suzanna. Here I am carrying on about the excitement and all, but you look... Well, as if a funeral awaits you in Savannah. I know there has been bad blood  between you and Eben in the past, but I know you'll be able to to forgive each other when you are both in Savannah. After all, you haven't seen your brother in nearly a year _not since your engagement party last August ". Margaret narrowed her eyes and look thoughtful as she remembered Eben." I often think my own brother, Travis is difficult enough, but I have lately come to the conclusion that your Eben is even more so. Their temperaments are very different, of course,!, even wear his dejection for all to see, while Travis is more secretive, I think. But when I remember Eben's eyes _ sea_green, almost like yours _but so sinister, with those menacing brows..
You should see him smile, Margaret. Everything changes then. The anger dissapears and he's.... Beautiful.
Has he always been so melancholy and angry?
Suzzanah tried to remember. Eben outburst had a way of obliterating calmer moments. But, yes, there had been another time when he was quite different. His has always been a turbulent nature, but it changed and become more so a year or two ago. He made a trip to Savannah with with my father and after that.... "Suzannah stopped and remembered before that, Eben and I argued as I suppose most brothers and sister must. But we enjoyed ourselves together. We had wonderful adventures on Coopers mountain. When we were children. We love one another very much.
There! I know you two will be reconciled no matter what the problem. When you spoke of him just now., I could tell from your face how stro3 the bond between you is.
I wish that what you say might be true, but I doubt we'll see much of one another. He's very busy in Savannah, ans I must spend all. My time getting know the young woman he will marry next year.
Margaret pursed her lips. "you know how I disapprove of  such matchings, Suzannah. As I said the other night  I feel sorry for both Eben and that little girl of his. Marriage of expediency never work well. As a ministers wife, I know whereof I speak. Margaret raised her eyebrows' knowingly, then to change the subject, she looked around toward the ship. Who that can be? A young officer stood amidships, his brilliant white uniform impeccable, his skin sunbrowned a dark gold. His jaunty cap was cocked at just the right angle as he leaned with his arms outstretched along the tail and looked about the wharf. Isn't he handsome?
Margaret said Suzannah, glad for the change of conversation what would Bigelow Duffy say if he heard you such things?
.Margaret grinned wickedly and ducked behind her parasol. She peeked out. He would not call it wrong to wonder who someone might be.
And if that someone about you whom you wonder a most handsome young French officer.
Then I am fortunate, Suzannah. Have you heard that the curious are always rewarded for their efforts?
Suzzanah laugh aloud, but Margarets out spokeness did not amuse her long. Suzannah soon lapsed again into quiet thought. Her mind drifting once again toward the future. She thought about Travis and what it would mean to be his wife for the rest of her life.
Margaret watched Suzannah expression change. Won't you confide with me. What is it trouble in your hearts? I see something in your face that is so like Eben
I've told you. I'm only tired, Margaret there is nothing the matter.
But Margaret was appalled by the thought of her friends unhappiness. She would not be put off. In that case, Suzzanah, you have been exhausted since the day I meet you. You seem unhappy even then. "
Suzannah smiled, recalling her first meeting with Margaret who was Travis sister and his only living relatives." If I was unhappy, you more than made up for it. I've never meet such an effervescent woman in all my days. You fairly took my breath away!
Margaret laughed and twirled her parasol, pleased by Suzzanah comment. When Bigelow Duffy and I were first  assigned to St. Thomas Church in Marivale, one of the good ladies of the congregation told him. I should cultivate a calm and restful manner " she grinned. Biggy told her it was impossible, that God intended me as leavening to life, like yeast in the bread
And promise you will never change
I don't see how could I even if I wanted to, my dear. I know we've been friends less than a year, but you must surely see by now that I haven't whit of self discipline. Biggy says I am most unsatisfactory example of Yankee womanhood in that regard. Travis on the other hand, could force any behaviour from himself if he had a mind to. The call he has to duty seems unnatural sometimes. Take this southern excursion of yours, for example. I should think he would want to be with you every moment. Instead, he sends you off to Savannah to have your trousseau sewn by some seamstress Eben recommends. As if there aren't skillful needlewomen in Massachusetts. Travis is happy to remain at the mill by himself, but between you and me. I am sure such diligence is not necessary. It's all in his sense of Duty. He's not very romantic. I fear, Suzannah.
Suzannah did not wish to discuss her fiance.
This trip is largely for business purposes, Margaret
Oh, I know that. And I know that the mill reconstruction really cannot go on very well without Travis.After all, he is the chief architect. Still I am told that James Shawn is an excellent foreman. Why couldn't Travis.....
"Even before we announced our engagement, Father planned this trip. He goes south at least once a year to examine the books. And since Eben has been in control down there, he has done so many things _not only banking, but rice processing and shipping _

And now he's even planning to build a railroad '
"Still it, seems  a shame for two young people to be parted when they love each other. But there again in two months time you will be man and wife. And after that, inseparable!
Suzannah nodded and lookwd away, fixing her attention on the stevedores preparing the ship for sea. In two months she would be married, committed to Travis Paine for the rest of her life. The thoughts bought a flush to her cheecks. On an impulse, she turned back to Margaret, If I ask you something, a question, a very intimate, will you promise me not to hate me or thinks bad?
For the mere asking of it? Margaret grasped Suzannah hands tightly. My dear Suzannah, if anything to help make your eyes dance and spirits lift, I do it gladly. What is ist you wish to know?
Before you married Bigelow Duffy, were you at all uncertain? Did you wonder if you were  doing the right things? Did you ever wanted to...... run away?
Suzannah asked the question with difficulty. But she was direct. Her eyes, reflecting a sadness that held both fear and shame, stared directly into Margaret's waiting for the answer.
I would not share this with everyone I know, Suzannah. But since you ask, I will tell you that in the very eve of my wedding  I was in tears. Utterly terrified. Marriage is a fearful contract, my dear. And no one knows that better than a young woman about to make her vows. You see, my dear, men are accustomed to earnest contract of one kind or another. But for most of the women the decision of whom to marry is the one contract of lifetime _and the most irrevocable! "So you see Suz3, the doubts you have are perfectly normal.
Suzannah was little encouraged. Perhaps what she had been experiencing since her engagement _the panic, the tormented lights _was to be expected.
" And now that you are married and a mother. Margaret are you happy? Or do you sometimes long for something..... different, a change Marivake is such a sleepy hamlet and the vucare seems isolated even from that little town. Doesn’t your heart even cry out for adventure. When Suzannah thought of a lifetime marriage to Travis _when she thought of bearing his children and companioning him through thousands of says with their little routines and trivialities _the panic sent a spasm through the marrow of her bones. Her eyes filled with tears that made green depths shimmer like a sea _shallows. For a moment she forgot that Margaret was Travis sister saw only a friend. She longed to confide in that as if by speaking of the doubts that Suzannah held a secret in her heart, she might release them and send them winging to the sky. Instead she asked, are you happy Margaret? Has marriage made you truly happy?
Margaret Duffys plump face grew unusually at her friends question. Deep lines furrowed her smooth forehead, but she did not answer Suzannah immediately. She squeezed Suzannah hand tightly, biding time,, as if to reassure her that that ther would be none of the outrage or criticism Suzannah so obviously anticipated. Margaret stared for a moment at the ships and then her attention turned to Martin Hopewell.
Following Margaret gaze, Suzannah saw her father pacing the wharf furiously before his hair, faded wife, who sat primly alone, her face fixed in disagreeable expression. At last Margaret said I have known since childhood that to expect unalloyed happiness from life is hardly fair to either life or to oneself. And even a loving marriage like mine with Bigelow, God bless him, can be trial from time to time. After all, the most dutiful wife _and certainly I my best in that  regards _cannot help but wish there were a little less accommodating to be done in marriage. Much is kept silent for the good of the family. But I love Bigelow Duffy, so I have patience. The difficult time always pass. The same will be true of you and Travis, Suzannah. You love each other. Yours is no arranged marriage like that between Eben and Miss white. You do love him, don't you, Suzannah?
At the head of the gangway, a navy blew a whistle. Martin Hopewell began shouting orders. Seaman crowded together, collecting luggage.
Margaret embraced Suzannah again. Against her ears she whispered, what I mean is this, my dear. I know Travis can be a hard man, a diffcult man to love.....
You don't have to say those things Margaret. "
But I want to. I want us to be the dearest friends in all world and that can be only if we are honest to each other. I know the doubts you feel, but if you love Travis, if you share your warmth with him, your humor....... He needs your love Suzannah
Hury akong, Suzannah. The Lord knows we've been waiting enough, "called Sarah Hopewell.
" will you come abroad Mrs. Duffy?, asked Martin, as he took his daughters arm firmly and toward the ship.
"thank you, no sir. If I hurry, I can catch a stage that wil me let me off in Marivale in time for church on Sunday.
The women embraced again, both conscious of their good fortune in having found each other and regretfully of long  separation ahead. As she hurried up the gang plank, and a moment later as she stood at the railing waiving goodbye Suzannah heard repeated in her mind. Margarets sweet voice and her voice. He needs your love Suzannah "

Suzannah adapted quickly to  the ship routine. In her small private cabin adjoining her parents two room suite, she awakened early every day with a wonderful appetite for the shops breakfast of eggs,cheese and and bread, and strong ships tea. She never tired of sitting under the awning on deck with her journal open on her lap and her mind far away in restorative cloud land of fantasy. The skies were glorious for the first two days, fair winds kept the Belle Soeur skimming southward at a steady, brisk pace.
On the third day, however, the weather changed. The sea was calm, but it had strange greasy sheen. The day grew hot and still, Suzannah mood deteriorated. In the afternoon she tried to sleep, but with only a porthole for air, it was stifling in the small cabin.
That evening she could not conceal her melancholy.
It distresses me to see such dispondency, Miss Hopewell. But I am told champagne is an excellent curative. Captain Seveir gestured to a waiter who was hovering nearby.
No thank you captain
Is this air too close for you, mademoiselle? This question came from the first officer, Philipe Robin, the man whom Margaret Duffys had admired from the wharf.
"That's it! But Of course, Mademoiselle. Hopewell must have a little walk about the deck. Your spirits will revive in no time. Robin, you shall see to itm" Captain Sevier turned to Sarah and Martin. It is permitted, or is not?
Martin nodded absent _mindedly, his thoughts on business.

Really, I feel perfectly.... But Suzzanah had stood up quickly and was suddenly lightheaded.
Mademoiselle Hopewell! The first officer leaped to his feet and took her arm to help her keep in balance.
Sarah looked cross. Really, Suzannah ". Pointedly she returned her attention to the meal set before her, served with the captains gleaming silver and fine from China. Such were the luxuries of a wealthy manufacturers wife on a sea voyage. Sarah meant to enjoy them without the interference of her woebegone daughter.
The truth was that whenever Sarah looked at Suzannah she felt as guilty as a criminal. She knew perfectly well why Suzannah was miserable and out of sorts most of the time. It was crystal clear to the mother that her daughter did not want to marry. Travis Paine and was in fact, made physically ill by the whole idea. Having live through a similar experience herself, it was not difficult to Sarah to understand Suzannah situation. But that doesn't mean gnat she will interrupt the marriage arrangements. Not once had she considered breaking Suzannah engagement. It was one thing to symoatahize a daughter, but quite another to make. A public scandal and set tongue wagging. Therefore Srah was resigned to her guilt. There was nothing she could do.

That night Belle Seour moved through the sea so slowly that that there was scarcely any spray at the bow where Suzannah and Philip stood. The light breece revived her. She leaned her head backwards and face the wind squarely, letting it loosen the coils of her dark brown hair and whip up a bright glow on her cheeks. Aware. that Phillipe admiring her, her legs seemed made of butter.

Since the night ship had left New York, she had been conscious that philpe was watching her. At meals when she strolled on deck, as he dozed in her chair under the awning, she ways knew when he was nearby, his eyes touching her like hands of light.
He. Ade no attempt to conceal his admiration. The attention had been flattering at frust, but when Suzannah realized she was so excited by it, she has become a little frightened.
May I tell you Mademoiselle Hopewelk how beautiful you are.?
She was. In the moonlight, her face was a place cameo framed by her dark glossy curls. The stars dancing like the diamonds above the pair were reflected in her eyes. Your eyes are the like the sea " he murnured, skipping his arms around her. And like the sea they are dangerous."
She looked puzzled dangerous?
They change so quickly. Fringreen shallows to the way they are now. He lulled her close and after a moments hesitation, she relaxed. She could feel the breath moving in and out of his body.
What color are they now? She murmured against her ears.
Like miss, "he whispered. Sift and dark. His. Lips touched her checks and when she did not turn away, he sought her mouth and covered it with his own. Tenderly at first and then with growing passion, he forced her lips to part beneath his. The excitement was almost painful for Philip, but he could not stop.
He kissed her deeply.
She moaned and then pulled away abruptly.
"Suzannah. Reaching for her, he inadvertently touched her breast. In that instant he saw her face clearly in the starlight and knew that she was his if only could take her. Suddenly, her mood changed. The hungering sensuous woman disappeared and a horrified school girl. Took her place. Coveeing her face with her hands. Suzannah burst into tears.
Phippe was overcome by remorse. "I am deeply ashamed,..Mademoiselle Hopewell. I am not worthy to enjoy in your company." a true gentleman, Philipe shoulder all the responsibility for the moment and made no mention of the way she had looked when he touched her. It was not necessary to speak of what neither of them would ever forget.
" Suzannah! Mr. Robin! Sarah Hopewells voice shattered the beauty of the night, and the two of them nearly jumped. What is going on here? She was approaching fast from the direction of the captains Cabin. Seveir was behind her. You've been crying Suzannah.
Officer Robin, do you have anything to say for yourself? Although somewhat amused of what's going on, the captain try to take the matters seriously when he saw how bkushingly guilty the young people looked. Speak up Robin, Sir "". He said standing very straight Mademoiselle Hopewell was dizzy, sir. She strod facing the wind and this made her eyes wet.
"what do you want to say for yourself Suzannah?
She answered, I am mortified, Mama
Never mind about that. Why were you crying? Has this young man, this officer...? She broke off, unsure of what she wanted to ask.
I have not been crying truly.,"
Sarah glared at her. Very well Go below. I will speak to you after dinner"
A few minutes later, in her cabin, Suzannah gripped the polished brass handles on her bed to keep from becoming hysterical. The worse she felt the harder, she gripped the handle. She squeezed her eyes closed so tightly that she could see the stars again. Nothing could not make her forget what had just occurred. Her mother had humiliated her before. But Phillipe had kissed her and she...... The memory of her excited response mortified her almost as much as Sarah public accusations, with a vividness that was in itself disturbing she could reavll every instant of the Philipe kiss and knew just the moment when she should have put him gently in his place. Instead she had turned her mouth toward his eagerly.
She dropped to her knees and began praying for control and discipline and all many Yankee virtues she knew she was lacking herself.
When Sarah came in after dinner Suzannah was still on her knees. Praying! Sarah exclaimed I know there was something amiss out there. She slammed the porthole shut. You don't want sea air on your face at night, Suzannah. It gives you the migraine.
It does? Why?
Don't try to distract me, miss! sarah sat down at the foot of Suzannah bunk with a mighty sigh. She was faded blonde woman in her early forties with watered down blue eyes that normally viewed the world with bemused distrust. On this particular evening, however, they were glittering with too much champagne and high emotion and she regarded Suzannah with suspicion. I don't know what went on between you and that young man. To tell the truth, I don't want to know. I doubt my heart could bear the strain. My own daughter has humiliated me. What can't you learn to become a lady, Suzannah?
Why must you assume the worst?
Why? You dare ask that? I was in Sicily, wasn't I? Didn't I see with my own eyes? Sarah leapt up and paced the little cabin :four steps down and four back. You are like your Aunt Brownwyn, may God forgive her. I fear for you, child. By God's word I fear for you. You've got that Jones blood.
For once Suzannah did not argue, her ardent response to Phillipe kiss had taught her a good dela about herself in a short period of time.
You must understand that I only want to protect you and keep you safe. That is all any mother wants for her daughter. Sarah stopped pacing and stood in front of her. "look at me
Suzannah, obeyed but her tear _stained face was sullen
A woman has one thing and only one thing in this world.. I am speaking of her good name. Her unblemished reputation.
You've told me this before Mama
But you haven't been listening. It seems you are determined to ruin yourself before you I can see you safely married.
One kiss is hardly ruined. "
So you let him kiss you?
Suzannah fell back on the bed and looked at the ceiling what is wrong with a kiss?
And what else? Sarah pulled Suzannah up by the arms and shook her. You were there for almost quarter quarter of an hour.
Nothing else happened."
Sarah snorted with disbelief and released her. Get undressed, then. You need your sleep. We'll be in Savannah late tomorrow and you want to look tour best when tiu meet Ebens intended. Remember, the whites are very important. Savannah people andwhile  I cannot imagine what they see in Ebens, the partnership seems to be prospering. She nudged Suzannah, impatiently. Are you listening to me?
Yes, Mama, "
Good, now undress yourself and get into bed. And I warn you," she wagged her finger threateningly, "I will see to it that you behave, no matter what it takes. If I have to lock you up to teach you a lesson. I will do and so gladly. Do you believe me, Suzannah?
" yes mama
Good night then, Dear. On her way out of  the door, Sarah paused and added,Pray for your soul."
To be continued...










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