The heart comes back from where it truly belongs

[October 29,2021|Friday]

I've been in a relationship for 7 years with my man.

And within those seven years, I did nothing but to invest my time on dreaming and building our future— from the design of our house, the motif of our wedding day and the number of kids we are planning to have in our family.

Everything was just perfectly set and planned out not until...

"Babe, I'm sorry.. ngayon lang ako nakauwi."

It's already 12 midnight when Harvey arrived in our house. And the way how he catches his breaths, how his eyes avoided my gaze and how his stances made me felt uneasy— I knew that Harvey is up for something.

But I just ignored those red flags. Kasi ayokong masira ang pangarap na binuo ko para sa amin, ayokong masayang ang oras na iginugol ko at ang pagmamahal na ibinuhos ko sa kaniya.

For seven years of being committed to him, I don't want to put all of my efforts, sweats and love into waste.

"The heart comes back from where it truly belongs," ika nga nila.

Kaya kahit may tampo o galit ako kay Harvey, my heart still finds a way to come back in his arms.

—

On our sixth anniversary, everything became worst than what I've thought and expected.

My man would come home late without letting me know where did he go. He'd also gets cold and angry for no apparent reason.

Each day and months had passed by, I could smell the stink of his promises, I could sense the twists of his words and I could hear him whisper someone else's name during his sleep.

I felt and heard it but I ignored all of those signs.

—

On our seventh year anniversary, our relationship became more complicated.

Mali ko na lang palagi ang nakikita niya. He's too busy finding faults in me while I'm busy finding reasons why I should still fight for our love.

He did really change a lot. His inconsistencies and cold treatments made me questioned my worth.

"Huwag mo munang isipin ang future natin, love," he once said.

With his words, it made me think.

"Seven years na tayong mag-on, Harvey. In fact, I already have enough resources and money for our wedding. Huwag kang mag-alala, wala ka ng gagastusin sa kasal natin," I whispered with excitement.

But instead of being grateful, he just gave me a bitter look.

"Huwag muna nating isipin 'yan, love. Please.." he begged.

"If you don't have plans to marry me, what's the point of this?" I questioned him, pertaining on our relationship.

That time, I was so hyped and too much excited in planning our future without noticing that within those seven years, I've realized na ako lang pala mag-isa ang may plano at may pangarap para sa future naming dalawa.

Pero sabi nga nila, "The heart comes back from where it truly belongs."

That's why here I am right now, inside the church while wearing a white dress— but not as my man's bride but a mere visitor of his wedding day.

Because few months ago, we broke up, telling me that he fell out of love.

But Iater, I discovered that it was just his alibi to escape on our relationship because he made his ex pregnant while we were still on.

Tama nga sila, "The heart comes back from where it truly belongs."

Because seeing my man getting married with his ex today, I've finally accepted that his heart wasn't mine to begin with.

I am not angry with him for what he did because somehow, he didn't just came in my life but he became a part of it too.

Kung may nararamdaman man ako ngayon— it is pure ache and agony.

Because if only he told me from the start that I am just a rebound and an intruder on their love story, maybe right now, I have a loving man, a healthy baby and a happy family.

Maybe right now, I am not hurting and suffering.

I felt really robbed. Parang ninakaw 'yong pitong taong buhay ko sa lalakeng nakalaan pala para sa iba.

It hurts so much that I took seven years of dreaming and building my future with him.

While he took the seven years of my life before he finally realized that it was still his ex whom he deeply loves and not me!

-End

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