When Your Child Leaves Home
📍Accept your children for who they are, not who you want them to be. Continue to be an example to your children even when they're not around. Teach your children to see God in the small stuff of life.
Perhaps you have survived the progression of your child from diapers to diploma. During that time, it was your child who made most of the changes. Now,it is your turn because your child's entry into adulthood will require major adjustments to your role as a parent. You spent almost two decades as a "hands-on" manager of your child's life. That time is over. Get ready to be an "outside consultant."😅
Once away from home, your child lives independently without any obligation of accountability to you. How do you convey your interest and concern without being accused of meddling? Here are a few suggestions:
✅ Keep checking in without checking up. You are curious about what is going on in your child's life. There is nothing wrong with that. But make sure that your child realizes that your curiosity is heartfelt and not judgmental. After all, your child is responsible for his or her own actions, and there will be resentment if you are perceived as monitoring.
✅ Learn to listen instead of lecture. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. You want to create a relationship which fosters communication. This won't happen if every conversation ends with a scolding.
✅ Give advice only when asked. You are painfully aware that your child still has much to learn, and you have an extra generation of experience from which your child can benefit. Unfortunately, your child may not realize this obvious fact at first. But hang in there. Sooner or later, after exhausting his or her own actions, you may be thrilled to hear, "What do you think I should do?"
✅ Ask questions for the sake of praying, not prying. Forget the litany of "who, what, when" interrogation techniques you developed when your child was a teenager. Shift to more generic inquiries, such as "How would you like me to be praying for you?"
Your love for your child doesn't diminish when he or she becomes an adult and leaves home. But the way in which you interact with your child will be drastically different. Appreciate the difference. Your child certainly will.❤
Be more concerned with the heritage you'll leave to your children than the inheritance you'll receive from your parents.