@Fyangzee24 2 September 2021

Tears in Heaven

Min, did you remember on Sunday you went to our house, we had a cakewalk, we sang songs we couldn't even remember the lyrics, we danced like there's no tomorrow and we laugh as if it's our last day.

On Monday, I got homesick, because I am missing home and your company. Adulting is just too harsh on us. You're still in your senior year in college while I am working on some experiences. I have foreseen already how good of a nurse you'd become in the future. You said your number 1 fan is your "tatay", who is my second " tatay", as well. I just loved how he cared for me as much as how he cares for you. You're someone just like your dad, a person with a jolly-happy soul. I remembered, how irritated you were every time "tatay" gets home drunk. But, it will not last for an hour because "tatay" gets so hilarious when he's drunk. I saw how happy you were when you danced with him, even without music. I don't understand your dance steps but I enjoyed it too. Little did I know, I won't be seeing it anymore. When my phone suddenly rang, and your name was registered as my caller, I was confused because we never call each other, we only send random chats. You were so quiet when I answered your call, then slowly I heard your sobs on the other line. "Min?" I can't remember how many times I called your name. You were not answering, so I just listened. I just thought you were on another disastrous phase of your nursing journey and just having a breakdown. We were just silent for 15 minutes or so, then, finally, you uttered some words, which totally broke my heart. "Neil, Wa nas tatay" *Neil, Daddy's gone*. I was stupefied, I don't know what to say or react to. I just felt the warm liquid suddenly flowed out from my eyes. I just can't process the words you just said. Min, when I saw you when we had our video call., I looked at you and happiness completely left your eyes. You were crying your heart out, blaming yourself for not being a good daughter to "tatay". I feel so bad, after all, I don't know what are the exact words to say because I am also lost of words because of the bad news I just received from you. I wanted to take half of the pain you're feeling right now if only I could, I would in a heartbeat. I feel so bad because you're just on your own, I wanted to be with you in your darkest hour, if only God will let me visit the paradise above, I will take back "tatay" for you. If only I knew the words to comfort your bleeding heart, but, it's just that I can't still manage to think of any good words. To a daughter and from another daughter, the loss of a father is unbearable. God, if you're listening, please heal our hearts and please put back the smile that has left her eyes. *To every person who reads this article, may I lend a minute from you and please say a little prayer, for the eternal rest of our dearest Tatay*. Fyangzee xoxo