Random Ramblings 05/21/2021
I still can't get reused to the fact that I am enrolled and will be doing assignments with essays. But since I already restarted my grad school, I will have to fight until the end.
We were asked a particular question. My other question was, what would be the deadline of the assignment?
Hehe. I like knowing the deadlines of assignments so that I know when to rush things. I'm sorry if this is not inspiring you at all but sometimes the laws are right. Like the Parkinson's law. I don't want to be psychologically affected just because I knew the law but then I yield that after all there are basis for such laws.
But I still want to counter any possible psychological effects. So I will be doing my assignment instead of postponing. I can just put my own deadline. With that then maybe, I will be doing myself a favor.
In my schedule, there is this writing, house chores, assignment, and many more. I decided to continue writing with more volume here. I wanted to get the attention of rusty again. For some, rusty comes with fewer posts but I guess with my profile I need more posts so let's experiment. I have a lot of ramblings anyway. Let me just unload here.
I will be posting twice or thrice a day but let us not fix that.
I'm still getting my hands on story writing and I still have a long way to go. But we'll start with daily conversations put to life in writing. I think I want sitcoms but we'll see how we go about that. These are just my ramblings, excuse me. Thank you!
Some other times, let us try to create posts that are research-based. I've heard from someone that it is much easier to write our experiences and reflections or realizations because we will be having the edge of not needing references but you know, we also have what we call 'birit' in songs. If at all possible, I would like to have some birit, that sort of struggle along the way. Challenging maybe but fulfilling.
Hubby at the moment is like, "Frie, go and buy some tilapya. For our lunch. Fish for us men, and that adobo there which is already cooked is for you and the children."
"Okay, men, I will just first finish this up. I will go and buy tilapya right after."
But I was thinking I like the sinigang tilapya so I will put cassava tops when it is nearly cooked. I am now treating cassava tops as if it were my staple veggies. Well, not really that nice tasting at first but as you become accustomed by how you eat certain with a certain style, you want more of those moments.
Cassava tops is the veggie I have eaten for the last couple of days. I like it when husband cooks it with sibuyas leaves. It's goes along the taste of the tops and yummy yummy yummy!!!
I usually eat meat heavily. Now I began checking myself and I realized I could control now my portions at will. Maybe because I have already tasted variety of foods and experienced being full to the fullest so I am sort of contented already for the rest of this life. Hahahaha. Just exaggerating but that is how I feel at the moment.
I had bread a while back but I could have just took my coffee. I will do better with my portion control later. I can do that now. My only problem is inserting exercise into my schedule. But since I will be going to the nearby palengke to buy, that will serve today as my exercise.
Let me end this article with something:
I realized that those late night studying and being stuck in libraries were very helpful to me now. In a way that, since I really do not have much time to study now, I have retained those things I've been studying about. I would use up all the draft papers of my older sister just to solve complicated calculus problems. But now that I think about it, it is much easier for me now even though I've been out of school for years. Now that I am restarting with my graduate studies, those are very handy. In a sense that I have encountered those problems before. This is how to do it. Etc. Statistics may have been my struggle subject before but I used the years reflecting why it is so. I eventually came up with answers. I am now very fond of the subject and I could even start writing articles about stat now. But I don't know if that is welcome so let me first try with stories. hehe.
So there, I hope at least you learned something with my ramblings this morning. This will have a part 2 later this day.
Thank you so much for reading!!!
Astonished at Nothing!
I sit at my desk while holding my pen. I looked at the tip of the pen. I saw the tiny dot that I always use to write and draw. How could a simple invention helps us so much in our day to day activities?
Then there comes the laptop! How many prototypes have been out before the versions we are enjoying nowadays? Blueprints after blueprints, prototypes here and there until finally we have more advanced technology now.
I remember using the first version of computer in our place before. We were high school that type. We were more familiar with typewriters back then. While typing, my classmate kept hovering over me saying why isn't there something near me which is printing the material.
I explained that we finish first the manuscript before printing it out. Unlike with typewriter that we are like printing while typing. He still can't grasp the situation during that time. We were laughing at him because he can't seem to accept the way things were done during those days.
As if advancement were not enough that nowadays we are having this cryptocurrency thing. I was astonished the first time I encountered cryptocurrency. I was more like an idiot for not understanding a single thing. At least now I understand few terms and concepts.
I turned my attention on the cups that I've drink upon. One cup, two cups, then three cups... I wondered, why can't I stick to a simple habit of putting things immediately into the sink? Or even wash it right after drinking? The sink is only 4 walks away and I still have to muster the god of diligence to let me clean up.
But the burner I use to boil water, how amazing you are! I don't have to always use wood and match. I can just ignite the fire that readily boils my water. Hot water for coffee, for tea and for milk. Also for ramen when I am not so stingy with myself.
Not in shape but still writing!
Have you ever felt it? Your body is not at all willing to obey what you will. I feel this few times during my cycle.
It's weird that writing has been the only thing that I do when I am in the dip for the month. But that's actually amazing!
At least I can then write as much as I wanted to for the day while days like these last!
Not in shape but still writing!
It’s true I’m not in shape now. But I write endlessly. I keep my writing going. I hope to exercise every whatever is there to train in me.
No, I am not a writer in profession. I write because I wanted to earn more. But it actually is just a bonus to earn. I realized I write because I wanted to. I write because it’s the only thing that could appease me in times of distress. And if I may borrow:
“Who wants to become a writer? And why?
Because it’s the answer to everything. …
It’s the streaming reason for living.
To note, to pin down, to build up, to create,
to be astonished at nothing,
to cherish the oddities, to let nothing
go down the drain, to make something,
to make a great flower out of life,
even if it’s a cactus.”
--Enid Bagnold
Quite true quite true. It is indeed the answer to everything. That as you write you begin to figure out things that you wanted to analyze.
It is the reason for my living now, in the sense that I get to write when things seem dull and I become so alive. Writing is liberating me so much I could go on with my life.
To note, to pin down, to build up, to create! To be astonished at nothing. I have done so many things with my writing so silly that I don’t want reading it at all.
To let nothing go down the drain is what I am doing now. But I have to restrain myself from publishing nonstop. I have to polish as well before bringing out. But then this piece came out of nowhere and right there and then typed then published!
To make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus. This one really made me remember this quote to heart. In writing, we can equal that of Mathematics when we define our characters just like how mathematicians define their variables. We can also make our stories like how mathematicians solve something through spontaneous solving from equation to equation.
Thanks to great minds who inspired me to write initially and to greater minds who still keeps inspiring me and to you dear readers who read no matter how seemingly nonsensical some of the things I write. But I have to also give a pat on my back for sometimes I also write a good one.
My husband still is not very supportive with my writing because he doesn’t understand or maybe I don’t understand his predicament. Even so, he still allows me to write and I am grateful for that. No matter, I will still write. And I just know this is one of the things that will keep me going.
In three years, four years, decades now if I am still alive, I know I’d still be writing. I imagine myself doing more with this hobby.
I believe that once we hold the pen, we’ll never let it go. Because it’s addictive, it’s liberating and brings awesome randomness to our lives.
We may feel frustrated at times, but still our passion will keep burning. We may feel as if what we’re writing is worthless, but who haven’t felt that at some point in their writing? Even Natalie felt that, too.
What we saw, what we felt, what we touched, what they said to us, what made an impact to our lives. And so on and so forth. So many things to write about. It doesn’t seem to end. Our life will end one day but topics are endless. If we know where to look.
**I may be out of shape now but I still write. Even if writing is the only topic I could go on with, I’d still do it.**
The air responds in support
Incidents
(Some parts are just some inventions.)
Midnight, I talked to my husband about getting up early. I will be walking till I reach a mark. I will exercise so the coat I so loved will fit me during the near future cold season.
My husband said 'm-m' so I took it as a vote for yes. Then the air followed it up!
So after telling him that I went to the living room to write using my mobile phone. Ah, yes, I first went to the CR to do what is to be done but then I was consti... I asked my husband with a loud voice to bring me hot water that I will drink in case my intestines contract.
But he told me, "tapnu lang maka cellphone ka," (just so you can use your phone) after delivering my request.
Half truth because that really is what I've been doing. Drinking hot bevs while...
But on another space of my mind is the thought of cellphone-ing while...
So there the air responded in support!
Anyway, here goes me going back to the 'sala'.
I was drinking my last cup of coffee. Last cup because it's the last sachet of my favorite instant coffee (great taste white caramel).
Then supernaturally the wind blew that knocked my cup off. Dearest coffee was spilled.
Second time the air responded in support!
As of writing time, 12:48 AM. I should have already slept for 4 hours already. But I keep typing the keys. I guess these two hands are to be disciplined.
Interpretations
I was searching for interpretations. I looked at the floor, saw no sign. I glared at the wall. No sign. I walked around a little, still nothing.
Then when I closed my eyes, a cool breeze touched my face. Seemingly it came from opening in our house.
Then that cold breeze told me, "Sleep so you will be able to exercise as you have declared."
I opened my eyes to find out the window got opened. By who knows who!!!
I almost screamed but then I withheld. It was me who opened the window just a moment back.
(End.)
Sorting it out
The events that really happened was the talking to my husband and going to the comfort room requesting for hot water. The thing he said were there also. It's also true that I stayed at the sala and was having my last sachetful cup of coffee.
My inventions were the spilling of coffee and the opening of window. In fact we do not have windows right in front of where I am sitting right now. I would have to stand up before opening the window. And also we do not have sofa here at our house. Only mono blocks. But you bet I won't be comfortable sitting on it while writing. That brings cool breeze though is my wishful thinking. What we have around the house are more houses. But yeah, air comes in but not really that one I was dreaming off.
My day though a good day was uneventful. Therefore I have to make more of it. I thought of this. And if I were to write stories, I need all the creativity that I could manage.
Games instead of stories
If in case I cannot create stories, what I have in mind are games that I could create. Here comes my impulsiveness again in announcing. I don't really have anything in mind as for the game. But thinking about one lights the fire in me.
They will be more on puzzles rather than those like ML. And also so they can be written here.
Let me just leave here a short puzzle...
Someone stole Ana's chocolate. Ana's chocolate is a rare item in their area of residence. Her classmate, Dinah, claims she saw someone eating the chocolate. On the other hand, another of their classmates, Rina, claims as well she saw someone eating the chocolate.
They do not wish to utter the name in the air so they decided to verify-confirm their suspect on who stole the chocolate.
The puzzle here is to determine a way for the two to verify-confirm their suspicion without ever saying a name to anyone.
The puzzle their will not really answer the true culprit. We will only focus on coming up with ways on how Dinah and Rina verify-confirm their suspicion. As for the culprit, we never know really if this will lead us to the real one because who knows, there might really be other chocolate like that of Ana's. The limited given make it impossible to investigate so just focus on Dinah and Rina's way of solving their problem.
This and other puzzles are crypto in nature. I patterened this on an article I've read about the maths of crypto.
Blinded/Binded
I am blinded. Blinded by my incapacity to see the truth.
I am blinded by my greed, by my selfishness and who knows what.
I am telling you, this is no poetry. I just wanted to express, as free as I could be.
The truth is, I have come face to face with my truth. I have seen my truth. I have embraced my truth. But my eyes are still blind.
The wall I created or is still creating or being put up by the 😈, it is blinding me. It is not light that blinds me but the wall, that wall!
I will put huge strength into my arms, and I will break it down.
But I already saw the truth and neither my strength nor my will alone will be able to break what's blinding me.
But there is another thing! A chain is binding me. Chain of arrogance and boastfulness! How can I move, how can I breakthrough?
I will break free from these! I will make a stance and break this.
But I saw that truth and my stance alone will deliver me from my own trespasses.
Blinded, binded. I want to break free! I want to live the truth. I am not blind, I am not binded. But I am.
There is this man who saw another being plundered by those in position. But then he turned a blind eye and lived to it. How pitiful all these people are!
A woman is free to live her own but then she remembers all her fantasies and the romance she kept hidden in her head. And she lived pathetically. Not to her opinion, unfortunately.
We have all seen the truth! But we are blinded. We are binded.
One way or another we come up with excuses, of reasons. We exercise our logical sense so we make up what's usable for our own justification.
We commit what everyone else is commiting. We do what others are doing.
But have we tried really, to live the truth and nothing but the truth?
In all honesty, I am heartbroken. I am broken by my incapacity to do what I have to.
I am weak even though I am strong. I am mute even though I could speak.
I have few even though I have many.
I know a way to access wealth, but I deny myself of it.
As we confine ourselves in the room of anguish, of negativities and endless internal strife, let us also open the windows and also the door after we are done.
We wash our teary eyes. We talk to the people who are with us. We prepare our bath and take a bath.
Let us allow ourselves to absorb lessons.
We maybe like this now but there is always tomorrow to do better.
I am not sure anymore if this ever has a connection to the heart of this article but I just read a while back how Joseph thanked God that He has caused him to be fruitful in the land of his affliction, naming his second son as Ephraim.
That was the verse that had rhema on me and I just wanted to mention it here.
Much as I would like to be straightforward, my personality sometimes doesn't allow me to.
That is one reason I like it here. I am given my right to remain silent in case someone interrogates.
No one of course will do that to the extent of debate. Otherwise my knees will give way even before I give my rebuttal.
Anyway, I hope you find your way until you arrive at the point where I am now.
If not, you may first go home. This might just be a hide and seek game. Or maybe, an invitation to reflection.
P.S.: I know you're dying to correct me. But yes, **bound** is the correct word for *binded*. Sometimes, I like to use misconjugations.
The danger lies really when we use it and not send it to appropriate audience/s. After all we try so hard to create rules in our language in the hope of better communication. Unless we really aren't that capable, let us follow rules and protocols.
P.S.2: While writing this, my first child and his dad were sleep talking. I guess they haven't had enough.
Today is Another Day
Today is just another day. A common and and ordinary day. When last night, I was trying to console myself, now I am trying just to enjoy and find beauty in my ordinary life.
I plan to try my best to look at things differently. With much contemplation while writing **May I Slow Down Just for a BIT?****,** I realized that I need to do something if I don't like to end up miserable. https://read.cash/@FrieLincs/may-i-slow-down-just-for-a-bit-1f8cbbe4
After having breakfast with the kids, I took my little girl for a walk. We will just buy some eggs but we had to walk for a few miles uphill to reach the nearest store. While at the store, I told her to play with the other kids in a house nearby while I chat with the store owner. I told her that she will be playing with the other kids for 30 minutes then we have to head home. She agreed.
A very short encounter with other people is something significant for the kid and I think that is the same case with me. After 30 minutes, I called her and we went home. The laborious walk to and from the home to the store just to buy something became special. My little girl got to play with other kids and I go to have a small chat with other people too. The walk was even a good exercise.
At home, I had to assist the other kids in their modules. We usually call it 'module legends'. I really hate it these days that I get to be the teacher outside the school and still a teacher at home with my kids. It is exhausting. But today, I tried looking at it differently. At least while I am assisting them with their tasks, I also get to relearn those basic things I must have placed behind my head.
I realized that there are actually a lot to learn if we are just open to them like an empty vessel if you know what I mean. At least, while I am assisting them, I am learning as well.
After module legends, I had to prepare for lunch. Sayote tops is all that we have for now. My father told me that when I was very young, I couldn't eat any leafy thing meaning vegetable. Now, I am just happy that my kids are not that picky when it comes to food. I think it is good for parents to train children to learn to appreciate whatever is prepared for them. I am just glad they are enjoying their rice with some sayote tops.
Photo source: https://www.google.com/search?q=sayote+tops+farm+in+benguet&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwimhvf77MDwAhVczIsBHSFgCbUQ2-cCegQIABAA#imgrc=Voime2f0H02JSM
Next, I will publish this then do some online tasks. I am optimistic that more good things will come.
_________________________________________________
I remember one poem my poetry professor let us read and analyze in college. It is called Delight in Disorder by Robert Herrick. Here it goes...
Delight in Disorder
BY ROBERT HERRICK
A sweet disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness;
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distraction;
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher;
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribands to flow confusedly;
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat;
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility:
Do more bewitch me, than when art
Is too precise in every part.
I tried to record my voice while reading it. I hope I would give justice to this wonderful work of art.
https://youtu.be/bq3M1tKRCP4
The poem details an image of an apparel worn in a messy manner yet the persona finds it delightful. The persona is teaching the readers that there is beauty in everything even in chaos and disorder.
The persona's appreciation was even so genuine that he/she was able to describe it in detail. After all the disorder from the shoulders to the lace of the shoes, the persona concludes that art was more bewitching than when it is done precise.
Today, I have learned that it is just a matter of how we look at things. Things may seem so messed up but when we learn to look at the beauty in the mess, then we become happier and more contented.
Yesterday, I was a mess. Now, I am going to change that. I am going to look at the mess differently. Then and only then will I smile and say, "Today was great and tomorrow will be another day!"
_____________________________
Thank you for reading!
--FrieLincs
May I Slow Down Just for a BIT?
It has been a very busy day. Emails, chats and more emails. Why do they have to come altogether at a time? Messages not even related to each other. If I were not being careful, I could mix up contents. I couldn't imagine the havoc it would create both for me and the recipients.
Have you ever had days like mine?
I have always questioned why am I in this generation. I there is a mismatch. Everything in this generation is in an accelerated motion that I sometimes feel like a couldn't keep up. Maybe in my past life, I was a turtle or perhaps a snail or maybe a sloth? haha...
Honestly, there are really days when I feel so exhausted that I would just like to take a break. But how? I have mouths to feed. I have responsibilities to keep and a humongous financial obligation to meet. The laundry basket is also full. I thought I did them the other day? The sink is also at the brim. The floor is waiting to be polished. There is more I am actually ashamed to enumerate.
But then again, why do I feel tired when everything is still waiting for me? I did not merely sit down the whole day. I have been working a lot. Ironically, I was not able to do anything. The mouths are still waiting to be fed. The responsibilities are still lingering along with the financial obligations. The house chores are still waiving.
*(I thought this image is perfect for what I am feeling right now, both literal and figurative...hahaha)*
I told you in an earlier post that I won't be writing tomorrow so I am taking this time to publish something in my mind at this time. I think it is better to turn my downcast heart into something productive like what I am doing now. It may not be a real inspiration to readers but it will be a great release on my part.
This feeling that I am having now is I guess not really because of all the challenges of the day although they may be a factor. What really caused this is when the better man told me that he needs to stop tending to other things and just to stay at home for the tasks to be accomplished properly. I was hurt. It was a dagger that pierced through my heart.
From the beginning, I know I wasn't good at managing the house but I realized it is even more painful when a person you would never expect openly spit it out in your face. melodramatic, ain't it? Well, I really think I didn't deserve it. For now, let me just pour my heart out. Tomorrow, I know I will be better. Better in the sense that like nothing happened. hahaha.
One article I read says a sign that you need to take a break is when you personalize everything. Personalization is when your mind convinces you that your negative thoughts are real, even when they aren't true. These thoughts emphasize emotions and destructive behaviors that can lead you into a downward spiral of inability to cope with even minimal stressors. I think I was being touchy that I tend to personalize things easily these days. I think I need to slow things down then.
Photo is by **JESSICA PAPP** https://www.moms.com/author/j_papp/
TO MYSELF: **It is just Monday, the beginning of the week. There are 6 more days before the week ends. You have to expect more but you need to keep in mind that you a as strong as a bull and you will overcome!**
__________________
Thank you for this opportunity to write!
--FrieLincs
Here Come Moneyed Days!
Today is a Monday
Today is a Monday. It is the first workday for the week. After resting the previous day, here I am again, typing.
I type wherever I can. I use my mobile phone and transfer to the desktop if needed. I simply save my draft and access it on the computer.
Monday used to be a dreaded day. Because I have to work. Not because I do not love my work but because I just wanted to relax longer.
Now, Mondays are a delight! After resting the previous day I finally get to write again and type and type and type.
I sometimes experience typomania but then I check on myself. I am not sure if it is even okay saying this but let us just say I experience the moderate level.
My hubby also checks on me from time to time to make sure I do not neglect my other responsibilities. I really appreciate his concern for my sanity.
Let us all start this week with a positive mindset!
Starter Activity
I first have my quiet time. It may sound very religious but if you try it, you will feel your power surge!
Quiet time is an act you do first thing upon waking up. You pray, read a part of the bible, then reflect upon that which you read, and pray pray pray.
This is a daily reminder especially when I am already saturated for the week that I need some spiritual cleansing. Our tendencies to be negative people is set to zero.
If you have not acquired it yet, buy or order a bible. Or better yet, renew first your faith. Talk to your spiritual leaders so they may guide you.
This is worth sharing and we should not hesitate sharing the good news!
The Usually Skipped Part
Much as I wanted to maintain this, it is plain hard. But of course this is just me making an excuse. I have already mentioned the power of daily quiet time and if we also ask we will do all our tasks or exercises smoothly.
The mostly skipped part of any of my days within the week is exercise. So to make it doable, I do moderate or light ones. Better yet, dance. Dancing is a lot easier than that done without music.
My tendency is to go straight to the writing device. But I discourage myself from doing this. Eyes should be healthy in the long run.
I try to not think of writing and just do first mindless housechores in order to get ready for the day.
Schedule for the Rest of the Day
I promised myself to prioritize my job before going to the neighborhood to relax. Tasks first before 'neighbor-ing'. After the starter activities are writing, job-related, and relaxing.
Since writing is already an integral part of my day, I just write my article first after the starter activities. This is to take my mind off it so I will be able to concentrate on my job.
It is like unloading first before reloading.
Errands are done usually in the afternoon. But since my work tine is flexible, I can do other things first. But then I try to always prioritize my job first.
Here comes afternoon. Time for cleaning up and cooking and preparing for the arrival of the king.
I should halt all formal work as soon as 4 pm strikes. Time to clean up and cook so that when hubby comes, our place is clean and set.
Ideally this is. But I am left writing most of the time and so I rush things. My husband comes quizzing again and I just laugh it off. I will do better tomorrow.
Wives should be noble but then I also have my shortcomings. Trying hard to, day by day.
I work again after dinner till 10 pm to 12 or until I decide to sleep. I am a night owl these days except few nights like last night where I allowed myself to 'just'sleep.
Today is Money Day
Today is money day. Not only during Mondays but also any day until Saturday. Sunday is exception. I work expecting my salary in due time. I write then wait for the fruit. But I see to it that I don't expect. Any earnings here will be additional income.
Honestly, the king of the house doesn't want the queen to be writing but that is so much of a restriction. But I try not to argue because he does have a point. I just tell him it is essential part of me.
Take it away and you are taking my life away as well. Who among you here are being restricted from writing? I bet you feel the same. Maybe.
This is my first blog for this week and let us all have a wonderful moneyed days!
Enjoy working!
The Invitation
There stands the table. Made out of wood material. Paired with it is a chair, black, plastic, standing on a mat to not slide on the tile flooring. It faces the table. On top of the table, there stays the portable device. Just propped there for the hermit to use...
*Perfect!* the hermit thought while discreetly looking at the set.
*Wait till the people are gone... Hush now, hush now... You'll have your chance.*
Hubby goes to work, the children go and play. It seems forbidden to even sit in front of the monitor. So...
*Yes! Finally!* She exclaims.
*But the floor is unclean, the sink is dirty.* She observes.
She sweeps first and does the dishes.
*What else?*
Then she turns to *that* place.
Anybody could see the light coming from her eyes every time an opportunity comes for her to write.
She sits on the black plastic chair and positions herself to work on the device.
`Type type type! Type type type! Chegedeg chegedeg chegedeg!` The sound shoos the mice away. `Chegedeg chegedeg chegedeg!` Where are her thoughts coming from?
The world becomes still as her mind wanders through the places on her memory. She squeezes the juice out of every fruit she could find. Then she puts them together, mixing, blending words and phrases to become a story.
She drains everything into who knows where...
*I'm done for the day,* the hermit concludes, even if it was just an hour that passed. How quick was that?
Then she remembers her children who went out playing. She goes around, finds the little people then play with them and brings them home to feed. Then she claps claps claps with the story behind her head. *How did it fare,* she wonders.
She tucks the children for daytime nap and decides to take a nap herself. But then her eyes wanders and rests on the thing on the table. The room was not closed so she was able to see her work area.
Slowly, she creeps out of the room and goes to the place that is inviting her soul.
*What is it with writing that she goes extra hours without rest?* Only the night will be her rest time. She even becomes a night owl just to extinguish the fire within her.
Hi, guys! I've been invited to testify for something on our local congregation. But it became a writing prompt instead--The Invitation.
I won't be publishing tomorrow so let me publish this today.
When we have the chance tonight, let's ponder on The Words that might bring message to us. Honestly, I have just restarted my spiritual life and I realized I still have a long way to go. There are a lot to learn.
I am very much lucky to have found my spiritual family. We should have had our weekly bible study a while ago but we were not able to. Hence I will do it on my own before sleeping.
I'm still asking myself whether writing here was a good decision that I made for the previous week. Maybe, I will have to take a break and focus instead on more important things.
Let me straighten myself: **Writing here is the best decision I've made for the past week. I may not be an expert, but I know how to express myself at the very least. In addition, even though it was not explicit, I saw the sufferings of others through how they composed their articles. You could deduce how others are pleading for mercy, hoping to be rewarded by the bot. You read people who baits you by having catchy title. But then, we all want to make a living. I respect others as much as I began respecting myself. A lot is unsaid, but read. A lot is unexpressed, but still read. Through the way authors have crafted their stories, we could understand each other. That is, if we are listening using our hearts. Maybe, that is why coincidentally, the name of this platform is read.cash. I invited my self here. This is the invitation I gave to myself.**
Hi! I am FrieLincs! I am fond of using the Classic Microsoft Paint. Here I have another avatar using Paint. Hehehe. I just made a new one. Just did some silly things but it was fun. I'm sure my friends would laugh at this when they see it. (It's not a map or globe, okay?) Thanks for reading patiently!
Love, FrieLincs.
Playing for Pizza? Sure!
If I were a decade younger I would have discarded the book that laid beside my device. I did not buy the book. It just happened to be near my computer. Here's the photo. Forgive my lack of photography skills. You even see there scribbles of my daughter.
Playing for Pizza, by John Grisham
After reading the title, I looked at the picture at the front then at the back.
The front cover showed a man with his baggage. He seems to be leaving for another place. The back part, men were playing football.
First, I am not fond of sports. I don't play ball games. I do watch Haikyu!! or similar anime or movies about sports but I am more interested on how characters finally win the championship or how they solve their problems but not the sports itself.
Moreover, I am not a fan of random things. But I'm not so sure about that anymore.
I became curious. Even though it doesn't belong to my list of reading materials, I read it anyway. There also was the mindset that, how great of an author would John Grisham be? My siblings read him so why don't I just read his book as well to find out why they like his books?
I started reading.
**Disclaimer:** *The following are just a crude accounts of the scenes in the story based on how I understood them, anchored on my personal dilemmas. If you want a better summary, go read in the internet.*
At the onset I was very pained by the aching body of Rick. He was mortally wounded, crushed by their opponents. Seems he was the reason for the chance of his team to win their first-ever Super Bowl appearance. To cut the story, he was no longer welcome to his own group and was shunned by all other teams in the National Football League.
His agent found a team for him but at another far far away place. He knew nothing about the place. Due to the negative press and his legal troubles like a paternal lawsuit, and many others, he accepts the offer of the agent.
He was now bound to Parma, Italy. Though wary at first, he finally found home there. The team won their first gamr with Rick. But due to various reasons, they lose other games. But then Italy and the team (Panthers) finally becomes dear to Rick. His agent found a more lucrative job offer finally but then he decided to stay with the Parma Panthers. They won their championship. Instead of going back to the States, he considers staying at Italy for another season.
On another account, prior to deciding to stay with the Panthers, he had thoughts of going to play for CFL, that offer from his agent. But then he went instead to that reporter who kept attacking him, hit him, then went back to the Panthers.
In the end, the protagonist had no heroic comeback. Rather, he found home and belongingness to the place where he was once new and unfamiliar. Yes, he even found a girl. He found Livvy, the woman that he plans to be with for the rest of his life.
Lessons
Fame and honor are no longer important for us. As long as we are enjoying what we do and that we have satisfaction with the life that we are living, then that is more than enough.
The world will laugh at our downfall, but it shouldn't be the reason for us to quit. If you're no longer welcome, be gentle with yourself and find another place. There's so much to live for and others are waiting for you.
What's important is that we have a pizza to eat at the end. This is not to say that we simply eat and sleep. Perhaps, it is being contented with what we have and enjoying those that seem we are wary at in the beginning but actually holds more value and place for us.
Sometimes circumstances though brutal will lead us home.
Ah... I don't know. I can't seem to explain my point. Let me just then work for my pizza...
Here then is a free pizza (picture) from Unsplash. Hehe.
Thanks so much for reading! Like and subscribe if you want what I write.
Comments are always welcome.
And also, sponsor me! Have your badge shown for as low as .01 dollar in BCH. For now! Hihi. Thanks again!
Ooops! Go write!
My task is done. I was relaxing. I opened my phone.
I found myself scrolling thru the homepage on a social media. I realized what I was doing.
Then...
The time the time! It's time to write! I took into heart the advice that I should not be publishing every so often. So I really refrained from publishing more than once a day.
I used to express myself on other social media. Going through the process of some personal struggles I have at least used those platforms. But now there are even better platforms to go to. I am still active on those other platforms but I want to focus now here. I will just create drafts to publish at a later time.
Come to think of it, we are lucky to be here today, reaping rewards while we are on campaign with BCH. There are other similar sites but I prefer it here. Besides, I have my day job to take seriously as well. Good thing is that I work from home. So I can insert writing every once in a while.
There is the thought of writing about crypto of course. It is always here in mind. But we really needed to know first what we are talking about. So for now I can only do so much as to write about my experiences. Let me first DMOR(do my own research. Hehe).
Anyway, I came here immediately right after realizing my scrolling activity on FB a while ago. If I recall, I saved articles here for reading during my free time. So I came here to read and write.
Few years back, I tried my luck in blogging. Though it was liberating to write my thoughts and stories, I was pretty exhausted and sleepless for most days of the week.
I know my sweat and effort will pay off one day but I gave up just like that. I struggled to find time maintaining my blog until I quit eventually.
I admit my reasons and accounts changed about my blogging experience but they all are true.
But the meat of this article is this:
Go type the damn keys!
Motivated or not, type!
Words will flow out of you. It's impossible to contain all your thoughts so all you have to do is turn your device on then type.
Open the gates, turn the lights, go over places in your mind then you will be able to find something. If you are serious in your writing.
Writing is much more complicated than it really is. Yet much simpler at the same time. Your call! Believe me.
I am no expert but this at least I know: you develop skills when you write.
Personally, the change that I experienced over the past months was my performance in school. I used to dread essay parts of assessment but this time I look forward to them. Great, right? My grades were proof that I improved a lot. Just imagine if I still dreaded essays, then I would still have lower performance compared to when I now loved writing. Forgive me but no screenshots. The point is I improved. So will anyone willing to write.
Another thing is that I am able to add to my vocabulary. Sometimes I suck, sometimes not. More importantly, I grow with my writing. I think it's normal to write excellently at times and not at other times. After all, we're breathing moments and highs when we write and not all the time that we're on a fire.
Right now, I'm humbled to have already been curated by the rewarder on this platform. I'm not sure if I still have the zeal to write now without it. But then, ideally, I should still be writing or at least done something to up my earnings.
I am hoping to grow my BCH earnings. As can be seen by the recent or current bull run, BCH has a great potential. I will have to ask advice from more reliable experts with regards to hodling(holding). Terms really alienate me but we'll learn eventually.
For now, let's write! Let's rock! Be reading and commenting and sponsoring. See you sponsees. In a while!
Falling short on our ideals (but still trying)
Yours truly has many ideals. But I also fall short on them. Anyhow, I try my best to do what I can.
When we fail to pursue our ideals, are we at the wrong?
Here at the house, much as I wanted to keep the place clean and organized, I have so many other things to do instead of doing house chores. I simply do the essential works and leave the rest to chance, if I ever have the time to do them.
The same with words, I noticed that I am not anymore very particular with definitions. I used to be very meticulous but now, no more. So when I write, I just write and hit publish. I am no longer the type who would look long into the monitor and worry about how others will react. Though I am bolder now, there are also downsides to quickly hitting publish button without proofreading.
An instance would be unfinished sentences. You put '...' to the sentence. It is because you forgot the proper word to use or you can't find yourself with a good way of putting or finishing the sentence. You thought of going back but then you totally forgot about it.
But then, when I don't publish immediately after pouring my heart and thoughts, I may just delete everything at a latter time. But then, this is not an excuse so I will always try my best to proofread what I write.
I make a shift from my current age to the past and when I do, there is a significant change on how I compose my article. I am with the present so I am kind of beaten to another shape. When I focus and go back to my ideals, I write better. But then, I like the present me so I will just try my best to be in terms with whatever I have now.
Let me share to you now my answer to the question I asked above.
When we fail to pursue our ideals, it is not that we are wrong. There is no problem with failing to attain ideals. What becomes wrong is if we continue to condemn ourselves and that we don't find ways to remedy our situation.
Ideals are not bad. Because they could be used as our ultimate guide in our lives. But equally important is believing in ourselves, believing that we can breakthrough.
If we can't attain our ideals, what then can we do?
We may pose possible ways on how to come as close as possible to those and we must do things realistically. When we don't do it realistically, we might break our souls and other aspects of our lives.
When we draw lines with our bare hands, most probably, we don't get it perfectly. We have the tendency to shake or lose focus and not have the perfect straight line that we want.
So what we do is we use rulers or straight edges to be able to create straight lines.
The same with ideals, we may use our creativities to attain them but we should also not become reprehensive when we fail at times. The key is to always try.
Breakthroughs are not attained with a single blow. That rarely happen. When a woman gives birth, she needs all support she can get before being able to deliver the child. Before we are able to graduate our bachelor degrees, we need around 4 years to study. Finally, if we really wanted to pursue our ideals, then we have to do something and we should keep trying to be able to succeed.
Think of those times when you are to give entertainment during programs, at school or at the workplace during special occasions. If you wish to present a dance, you must first practice in order to perfect the dance. When you decide to sing a song, you also have to practice if you wish to have a better or best performance. And unless you are to compete, it is okay to make mistakes. Just make sure you tried and really did your best. Excuses are lame sometimes.
It may be difficult but may also be attainable.
But then guys, the above are only my opinion based on my understanding of things. If you have something to correct or modify, feel free to comment below.
And of course, thanks so much for reading intently.
Keep the faith, everyone!
*Till next article,*
***FrieLincs***
Living the ordinary life extraordinarily
How should we live our lives? How do we make it good? And bearable? Surely, we don't wish to live in misery or loneliness. Bored? What should you do not to be?
At the moment of writing these first paragraphs, I am walking, towards my son's school. Writing while walking requires a calculative and mindful mind. I will conclude this article when I get home.
I write while I walk. I put my hands on my phone while I find my way to school. Yes, you guessed it right. I am walking to my son's school to submit his accomplished modules and obtain a new set.
I am now here at the gate. The entrance was locked. The guard issues me a notice that no submission during Wednesdays.
I am the type who is alright with everything but this time I'm a bit quizzical. But then I let it go.
Let me first sit on this bench outside the gate. I will message the teacher.
*Few minutes passed...*
(writing now while sitting inside the jeep bound for town)The teacher came to my rescue a while ago, obtained the module then gave me a new envelope with more sets.
I thanked the teacher and also the guard. I still smiled despite my questions as to why they don't let parents in. I will make a report on that later when I am not busy. I will talk to the school's principal. No fight meant, I will just inquire why.
I am now riding on a vehicle bound to town. I am using my phone. If I dream on becoming a writer then I should at least be able to do well on any device. I should befriend all writing opportunities.
I came to realize the fresh air and clean surroundings while walking a while ago. Just imagine when air won't be free anymore like in the story of 'The Lorax'. What we are experiencing then is abundance and wealth.
I then took a mental note to always breathe deeply in when walking or whenever I smell fresh air.
And the guard a while ago, he was just doing his job. I didn't have to look at him quizzically. He follows orders and his obedience will earn him praise from his master. Do I have to ruin that?
And to my son's adviser, I recognize his efforts. He came all the way from his desk to retrieve our modules and took his time putting new sets to a new envelope to give us. Such a sacrifice on his part.
We all have woes and complaints and misgivings. Our lives are not perfect, they are ordinary, but living them extraordinarily will make a difference.
The clothes you wear to feel warmth, the shoes you put on, the roof you live under, have you tried memorizing their conditions? Have you been appreciative of what you have?
What is the scent of the shampoo you used? How fragrant was the soap?
The family next door, what are their names? Are you grateful to have them near you? What are their charisms?
All those simple things when we don't take them for granted and that we always look at them with new eyes will make our seemingly ordinary lives special.
If we are mindful and appreciative, we breathe the air as if we've just taken fresh air. The ordinary becomes extraordinary. Just buy a pair of new eyes...
Already a week old writing on read.cash
Before I knew it I am already a week old here on this platform. Let me just recount on what has happened so far.
I was able to publish 10 articles and wow, I am really thankful for my first ever commenter, @Hanzell . I did not expect for it to be commented on but I am thankful someone was thoughtful enough to leave her thoughts on it.
This I am really surprised. The bot visited my second article! And my third. And my fourth. Till my latest. Thank you! As of this moment I have a total of around 35 dollars in BCH gross earnings. I am elated! Thanks again.
I applied as a sponsor to 13 authors and I was glad to be accepted by 11 already. The 2 are still to accept my sponsorship.
I'm equally glad to be sponsored by Ma'am @MizLhaine and yes, I am still looking for sponsors. Have your badge shown on my profile for as low as 0.01 dollar in BCH. Thanks in advance!
I went around reading articles and commenting and receiving responses. I am surprised to see a lot of authors with different niches to dwell on.
If I were a year earlier, then I would have dwelt on poetry. Fortunately, I am not. I would not be sure what I would have published if that were the case. Still, a year earlier or a week later, will still have me as the writer.
During this first week, I invested time composing my articles and it is worth it. A do llar or a fraction thereof as a reward is still earnings and I am grateful! It is a bonus that on some of my articles I earn more than I expected.
What I love here is its clean layout and the easy BCH transactions! Yes, the lay out is simple and a bonus to that is the integrated unsplash photos that can be accessed easily.
The BCH cryptocurrency is just awesome! You get to send your crypto from this platform to another wallet easily and with low cost.
At the moment I admit that my writing style is still lacking in discipline and my logic is not that good but I want to improve as day passes.
Writing here, I feel that I am improving and that I am more on fire to write because of the incentives in BCH.
I want to learn more from other authors. From time to time I feel that I have written a great piece and on other times I just felt like I can't write at all. So whenever I feel like writing, I get it a go. If not, I allow myself to be read the works of others.
I was inspired to try and write short stories. Those that will have its ending in a minuteful of reading. Hehe. After a lot of practice, years, so to say then I may be able to lengthen it more. But for now I will aim for the achievable.
Again thank you for those who found value with my writings. Those who make mention of me and my articles, thank you so much. Without supporters I would not have been visited by the bot and so I owe my earnings to all of you dear readers. God bless you.
I am most of the time lost in my thoughts. But now I say I will be lost in writing them. Be really absorbed in it.
I also wanted to give a shoutout of gratitude to RenLeaf, my obedient boy for the support. You please mama so much! God bless you, my boy.
To my hubby, though you have doubts with my passion, you nonetheless allow me to burrow deeper into my hobby. Your doubts is not a hindrance but a source of challenge for me. Your support for time to use is already more than enough. Thanks!
To my other children, you whine but you're cute and you put smile on mama's lips and eyes. Writing here on read.cash with you is a good combination. I can write about you to further my writing. Grow up in His love.
My first week was so much blessed because of you all.
*What now?*
I will continue writing and will try to integrate what I learn in school. From time to time I might be absent for work-related matters. And also, I will be beating deadlines later on due to enrollment to graduate studies. Hoping for more power for me.
I come to this point where read.cash is a home for my thoughts and during this first week I have received a plenty.
Looking forward for the same this coming weeks.
Hi! This is FrieLincs and yes I am looking for sponsors! Become one! Thanks.
Reasons for Making Reasons
Excuses. Why do I make them? What are the reasons behind my excuses? Do I have a pure motive? What will the consequences be?
I can only discuss the topic based on my opinion and experiences. I am not an expert.
To start this, I used Microsoft Word to look for synonyms of 'excuses' and here we see:
Reasons;
Justifications;
Explanations;
Pretexts;
Defenses;
Apologies;
Pleas; and
Vindications.
Making excuses then is a way of giving reasons, justifications, explanations, pretexts, defenses, apologies, pleas, or vindications for something.
Personally, I do not like the idea of giving excuses because it makes me guilty of being irresponsible or I am like running away from situations or problems. It also makes me feel like I have no backbone to stand for what I believe on.
For instance, someone invites me to someplace. I'd rather say that I do not want to go because I prefer staying at home and doing house works instead of placing the blame to my spouse saying, "My husband might not approve of it. We might get into a fight because of it."
But of course, making statements should be accompanied by respect and seeing to it that the other party is not offended. There are instances where making excuses is a lot better than hurting others. But to make it even better, we tell the truth instead of making white lies.
I've been into deliberation about this because one way or another I've been making excuses all my life. This is just my opinion which I based on my experiences. We may make white lies for excuses which may seem trivial but will hurt others in the long run if we're discovered. Even simple inconsistencies will make others question our previous excuses.
To make life cleaner, I try to do the following:
I search my soul for truths. What do I want? Why do I not want it? Why do I want it? If I know what I want, then I know what I am fighting for. There's no other choice but to be reasonable.
I adhere to sound principles. What are the rules that need to be followed? What are the principles that must be applied? If we are not careful, things may become problematic.
I see to it that I am not blaming innocent people or circumstances. Admitting to mistakes and forgiving oneself is a key to freedom.
I'd rather strive to check for better ways than to resort to temporary excuses.
Let me relate to you what I knew had hurt my friends back during our high school.
As we all know, kids during the high school stage are rather arrogant, aggressive and sometimes in search for self-glorification. We were not an exemption before. We would do what other exploring kids were doing.
It was not long before I got tired for our escapades and even though I was one of the main influencers, I wanted to back slide and discontinue what I was doing. I simply wanted to stop drinking, smoking and cutting classes.
My mistake was running away and not talking it out nicely with them. It may have been hard to talk them out but doing it would have made my conscience clean. I simply distanced myself to them and it created hostility between us.
I forgive myself because I was very immature back then. But it does not remove the fact that the best method should have been telling the truth to my friends.
*I'm really sorry but I realized that what we are doing are bad. We are already disobeying our parents and disobedience leads to sin. I think we should stop our vices and focus on our studies.*
I should have told them the above so that whether they liked it or not, I made myself clear. If I'd known, then our lives would be better now.
But then again, those were life's lessons for us. But really, being true to myself and to my friends back then would have led us to better paths. The guilt which is still with me up to these days was about abandoning my friends. It's true that I chose a better move but not bringing them with me was my accountability as a true friend.
But hey! That's life. Sometimes, I get to say this which is very true as well. That's life.
The best thing now is to plan for tomorrow. What now? What should I do to make it better? How should I do in order not to make excuses forever?
I remember a friend who sells things for sideline. Customers would retract their order and reasons include spouses or family members not approving of their action. To protect herself from such instances, my friend sees to it that contracts are written and signed prior to making a sale, even down payment is tendered beforehand to do a way with those who back out. Nonrefundable portion of down payment is set.
Using others as excuse for our change of mind is not good at all.
The only choice we have to eliminate reasons for making reasons is to do what's right. But life is tough and this is easier said than done. But even that is not an excuse.
To conclude this message, here is a something that I've pondered on.
The life we have on earth is short. In the short span of life, choose whether you want it to be tinted with lies or clothed with truths. After all, it's our choice and not other's. We are given backbone and feet to stand tall and strong. Passing the blame is unmanly. Admitting our mistakes and forgiving ourselves will launch us to freedom. Freedom from bondages that glue us to shame and poverty.
Till next time,
***FrieLincs***
Endurance
What is endurance? How do we endure? How long should we endure?
By God's grace, I was able to deliver my children via normal delivery. During each labor before the breakthrough, I thought about how intense the pain was.
Fortunately, I had a good spiritual and moral support. They taught us to be strong and resilient.
But honestly during the first time, I really didn't expect the pain to be that intense. My eldest sister remarked that I would feel more pain when the baby is just about to come through. Little did we know that I was already fully dilated that time. Good thing we arrived at the hospital very timely. I delivered immediately. What a relief.
Now I like to talk about enduring the challenges of education. At the very moment, I am here at school waiting for my enrollment completion and while waiting, I am writing.
I am still feeling apprehensive. I've been whom you could call an 'adviser' to lost students back then. Adviser in the sense that I was always on the positive side in encouraging them to never give up on their studies no matter what.
Now I come to a point where I needed all those good sweet things I've been pouring out. Well!
I want to tell myself that:
...you can endure. Just persevere.
...go lang nang go. Never give up.
...just pass requirements. Try your best to understand and synthesize lessons.
...ask for considerations from teachers if needs be.
Endure!!!
Again, easier said than done. But we can do it! To all those like me, who are struggling to finally finish grad studs, let's do this! We can endure till the finish line.
I hope it will not be too much if I try to synthesize here on this platform. To make it more interesting and enjoyable at the same time profitable, I plan to write my understandings here regarding lessons that we are to take.
By the way, classes will be done online so habang online, take advantage, ika nga ni principal namin.
So yes, we will endure.
Think of those times you tried hard till the end... The fruit is a trophy that we could enjoy. Therefore, giving up and dropping should now be out of the equation.
On another note, I wish to apologize to my dear parents for my previous misgivings during my studies before. They provided for me but seems, I was not able to finish back them. At the same time thanks guys for being there always.
This will be a reminder that I have an accountability and responsibility to fulfill. I should also be glad that they offered scholarship and I am taking advantage of it. I'm very thankful.
Once again, to everyone who is going through dilemmas, kaya nating magdecide. Enroll na habang online. Kaya natin to!!!
Thanks everyone for reading.
Thank you @MizLhaine for the sponsorship. God bless you.
Hi! I am FrieLincs and I am looking for sponsors. Have your badge shown on my profile. Thanks in advance!
Don't be hasty with your decisions.
Think not only once, not twice, but many times over. This phrase still echoes in my head whenever I make hasty decisions.
Like with my studies, I thought I won't be enrolling again. Upon reviewing the possible implications of my actions, I realized I could get reprimanded orally and in paper.
It would be already be too much for me to get reprimanded orally. How much more in paper?
So happens my friend enrolled me without consulting with me. Fortunately, I suspended my reply to her which could have been an unpleasant one.
Turns out it was helpful because I was reminded that I had already decided months back to finish my studies once and for all.
The least I could raise as a concern was if I can take lesser subjects. She told me the 3 subjects will be good for me not to be lazy.
I just agreed, "Okay. No problem."
I will just go to school tomorrow to process my scholarship and that I don't have to tender any amount to the cashier. I also had other matters in mind to attend to so it is good.
If there is another self that would emerge, then it would have scolded me already. How many times in the past have I been like this? I should know better by now.
If I were an elder advising the likes of me, I would have already told myself many times that I should always finish a race I started.
There was another instance where I was too hasty. It is about marriage. I was too hasty to marry at a very young age leaving me very vulnerable to attacks of depression and emotional breakdowns. But I just recently learned how to deal with these issues so hoping those are all good. Still I know I have a long way to go. By the way, 21 is still young as a marrying age. I got married at 21 and I have 3 kids now, two boys and a girl.
Well sometimes, there are moments where we needed to be decisive but even then we needed a quick mind to do the work. So whenever possible think thoroughly before deciding.
Or if you are a quick decider, make sure you always think about a lot of matters in advance.
I am one who used to rely on decisions made by others for me. I used to blame others for my own shortcomings. I realized relying on my own decision will make me a more responsible individual. Blaming game is an unfair affair.
With that, I now try to always listen to my heart before deciding and I see to it that I am the one deciding. Whatever happens at least I did not put the weight of decision-making to other people.
There is this child in our place, who, when asked if she wants something, she responds, "I do not know."
So her friend teases, "You do not know?!!! How come you do not know what you want?"
I tried inculcating to the kid that decision-making is an essential aspect in our lives and that she needed to know how to do it. Know how to decide but make sure to not be hasty with it.
What I like about her is that she obeys what I request of her. She massages my head and not ask for reward. Because of that, I appreciate her and give her reward anyway.
Going back to my studies, to have fun abd creativity, I will try to discuss our lessons here and see whether I understood it or still needs more research.
As of writing time, I am again using my phone and not having my auto correct feature. Geez, I have to check my spelling always.
So I end this here and hoping for sound decision-making for us all.
And oh, I am inspired by @Hanzell to write stories. Gotta try in the next month.
Thanks for reading till here!
Shoutout to my one and only sponsor, @MizLhaine ... Thanks! Hihi.
RenLeaf, My Obedient Boy
I am very much pleased with my son who obeys whatever I say. So let me talk about him here. A short post on a Sunday.
He checks whatever I write here so hopefully he will not catch me while I am writing this one.
According to him, his alias is RenLeaf. Like me, he is fond of aliases. I just hope he'll use it with good intention and not for deception.
His first award, received in daycare, is something about obedience. I've been proud, as a parent.
Hobbies (according to him, his own words)
playing outside
sometimes cellphone
babysitting
sleeping
eating
that's all
dream (according to him, his own words)
to play baseball
to be an engineer
play soccer
thatsall
:]
He actually plays cellphone a lot but ideally, for him, cellphone must only be played sometimes. I noticed his denial of the few things he always does. Hence, I would like for him to really stick closely to his ideals.
Yes, he babysits his youngest sibling who is only about 2 years of age. He is not the typical boy that you see roaming around the neighborhood with friends. He instead looks after his sister and at least I have someone to depend on when I go to town.
Obedience to parents brings about prosperity. I am hoping for you my boy to always obey your parents no matter how hard our lives maybe.
So here you go, just a short article on a Sunday. Let's all be obedient no matter what our age is.
I was enrolled. I didn't know.
So I decided not to enroll during the semester. I thought, I'd better relax and attend instead to my kids. I am tired studying. 😁
My friend who encouraged me to go back to school is a teacher at the university I am studying at. She campaigned so that I will enroll. Last sem, I was convinced so I enrolled. Fortunately, I finished the semester after so much struggle and dragging the self to study. It's graduate studies by the way. I long finished my bachelor's so you would guess I'm already considered an old lady. Not too old, excuse me.
Now my mind's on vacation. I told myself to never enroll again unless it is Theology or the like.
But hala!!! I opened my messenger yesterday after the conference we attended then saw her message that she enrolled me. I already have a schedule. It will be valid once I tender my downpayment.
I really don't know if I will be continuing or not so I have to really contemplate for, say, two days in case I come at a rational decision.
This made me look back at the previous instances where I encountered students who didn't know what their goals were. They simply went along the wishes of their parents. They were what we call 'undecided.' After their stints in high school, their school journey came at a halt.
Same with me, I no longer am the traditional person I used to be. Back in college, I was who they call studious (most of the time). I never flunked a subject and also, I finished immediately like any model student you would encounter.
As soon as I graduated my bachelor's I enrolled in graduate studies but was not able to continue because by then, my personal struggles began. How many years has it been that I was in and out of universities? Going back and forth on my promises to finish the soonest possible time. Last time I enrolled, I promised yet again to take it straight till I graduate. My academic program was set to zero so I have to take everything once again. Which interestingly, did not bother me at all. *So what*, I thought. This is the sad part in me which I genuinely hope would be replaced by worry instead of daringness. It's also good to worry once in a while. A healthy worry not the extreme one which becomes stress.
This time around, I am worse than ever. When I could not come up with a good decision after two days, I told myself to just stop! Mahirap ang pinipilit. Maybe, this isn't for me. After all these years, I should know better. But I became worse than ever.
Any advice, I take it but it all comes down to what I will be doing. I began resenting the people in our neighborhood who didn't have a degree. I just felt that way. I don't know why. But of course, this is not a good example. I should be thankful I had more opportunities than them. Not that I am comparing but opportunities are not given to everyone. I did not create it but was given to me. So perhaps I should also be responsible.
Therefore, here is an ideal scenario:
Finish my graduate studies the soonest I can. Just I will finish it so that, that book of my life will come to a close once and for all. Just for formalities sake. In the end I will be the one who will regret it when I do not finish my studies. It might come very handy later when it comes to requirement for other opportunities. Though I am employed right now, we will never know what comes next.
With that I end my article with a pleasant advice to students:
Fret not the struggles you will encounter while studying. If you are not able to finish one simple degree, how will you call yourself a professional later on? Don't be discouraged by little stones along your way. Throw them away then go on. Just take everything like they were a game and then you may enjoy every episode of your studies. If you're bothered by that one strict teacher, then be stricter still with her. Comply with everything and claim what you need to. Teachers should learn as well. Finally, just keep going... Pray more than anything else. *I will, too.*
I would have posed like this was an invention but that would be too much for me. So I just wrote it as is, me being the character in a true story. I really hope I'll be able to stop wrestling with my self. (But really, I'm tired studying...)
Wisdom be with us all as we try to sort the things out, which we need to do in our lives.
**To myself,**
`If you can't decide, just stay and bloom where you are.`
To my sponsors, thank you for your sponsorship! Kbye😂! I can't mention anyone though because it's still empty. So for those who wish to be mentioned, come and sponsor me. Thanks in advance! ❤
Be Expectant...
How should one be expectant? Is this dictated? Or learned? Or dependent on what is to be expected?
I am writing just before a conference that I will be attending. And yes, I am using my mobile phone. I usually use the laptop to write but now I am using this.
I am, at the call of the moment, writing. This is not supposed to be included in our preparation for the conference but I did just the same.
So how should one be expectant.
Personally, I say that being expectant is not dictated by others. It is dependent on the person whether he is expextant or not.
Usually, one is expectant if he is excited for something. Say, in this conference, I am very much excited to know what's in store for me. So I am very expectant. I would like to know how they're going to push with the activity.
I prepared my notebook and pen and of course myself.
*This was supposed to be published yesterday but I was not able to. Let me just publish it today para di sayang pagtype ko kahapon.*
Hehehe. Thanks for reading.
Guilty!
The Busy Writer
Jesh has been coming in and out of our area. He is a 12-year old kid. He wants me to tutor him in one subject. Because I appear very busy due to my writing nonstop, I use it as an excuse.
Without even asking, Jesh remarks, “Ay, busy si tita.” `(Aunt is busy.)`
I would just nod and he leaves.
The scene is amusing. The kid earnestly wants to be tutored then the adult teasingly uses an excuse. Bad me!
I then make an effort to go to their house. "What part in your module don't you understand?"
"Si tita, hindi pala siya busy! Eto po, hindi ko maintindihan. Math kasi!" `(Oh, tita is not busy after all! Here, I don't understand. Because it's Math!)`
I also have to be firm not to solve for his activities. So we use lesson part. I let him solve then check his answers. The boy is bright and so it is very easy to teach him the concepts. I let him figure out things while guiding him. Eventually, he would exclaim, "Ay ganun lang pala, tita?!" `(That's just it, Aunti?!)`
I smile then leave him with his other modules.
The Hiding Woman
On another occasion, I saw the kid approaching our house. I hid. But I struggled to stifle a laugh. He heard it and was quite baffled.
Still, he managed to call, "Tita Frie?"
"Coming!"
I opened the door then pretended I was focused on my cellphone watching something. He appeared relieved. Then we again attended to his concerns. Such a diligent kid! Unlike so many other kids who prefer to play rather than finish their activities. My son is one whom I always fight with when it comes to conquering all those varied activities. Well, at least he can do it on his own without my interference.
Jesh leaves yet again with smiling face. I'm always satisfied whenever I tutor him. *Not the typical kid*, I thought.
Every week, there always is something that I am guilty of with regards to dealing with Jesh. But after every occasion, I felt satisfied. Not because I teased the kid but because I have imparted a small part of what I know.
Apart from those seemingly fun escapades related above, I also had my share of being made fun of. In high school, my friends, though unintentionally, talk behind my back and laugh about it. I discovered they make fun of the little things I do in order to be organized.
I would list down every little task I have to accomplish in a given time.
I decorate my room not the usual way but in another way I prefer.
I would buy stuff that looks 'baduy' at first.
Though it doesn't really matter to me, I still felt a bit of stress. I asked myself why I had to be regarded that way. I keep my head high and wait for a very opportune time. Let's see...
Fortunately, I know how to crochet. They, on the other hand, can't master the basics of the craft. I understand because I also went through that but it just happened I use to crochet when I was in elementary. Out of desperation, they ask for my help. I would help them. While I felt sadistically happy inside.
Regarding my room, they eventually appreciate it because they have no other choice.
And they admit I appear unexpectedly good with the clothes they said 'baduy'.
Lessons
Do to others what you want them to do to you. Similarly, don't do to them what you do not want them to do to you. They say these are the golden and silver rules, respectively.
It seems fun to be making fun of others but when we get to experience it, it doesn't at all feel nice. In addition, let us not turn a blind eye from those who need some rescuing. It makes a difference to correct others. They'll thank us later.
It's tempting to judge, but it makes a rotten part in our being. Not judging will lead us to understanding a whole lot of things. It will also make our conscience clean. We never know this world. One day, you'll be a companion to someone you never expected. Suspend judgment every way possible.
Good day, guys. Frie Lincs here. Thank you so much for reading. Got something to say? Drop a comment below. Thanks.
Tattered Clothes
I was folding clothes for what seemed like eternity when I was reminded of the popular aphorism, along with other morals that I value most.
**All that glitters is not gold.** We are already familiar with this. Yet I see a many who still judge based on looks. I cannot judge them back. After all, we are also encouraged to dress nicely, especially if we're to go for an interview, or present a report in class or even hang out with friends.
Nowadays, I usually display myself in our neighborhood without regard to my clothes. What's important for me is that I look tidy enough to be welcomed by the little stones that I see on the ground.
Sometimes, they question why I don't seem bothered by all those things. I tell them it's not what's important for me. Pages of a book, variety of pencils and ball pens, poetry, and even singing is of more invitation than the flashy fashion that I get to see only on television. They aren't as flashy as off cam anyway. So what's the use?
**Integrity.** I am ashamed for most of the time. I lose this every now and then. Sometimes, because of greed, or anger, or selfishness. Still, I give high regard for this. Integrity is a sense of wholeness or having responsibility over those that we've said and being consistent with our words. It extends to adhering to strong moral principles.
My friend, who is a Christian, supports the notion of integrity over popularity. Popularity, if chased, will eventually lead us to our downfall. But if we prioritize integrity, then we may well become more respected and followed by many, at least for those who know better than most.
**Back to the clothes,** I find it harder and harder to repair the damaged ones. Maybe, it is because of the change in hobbies. I rarely write before so I had more time for other things. Now, I usually write more than anything else. Even when I'm not publishing, I still write. Not really for public consumption but just to write whatever's of interest to me. The clothes that have been damaged, I sometimes just give it away to others or use it inside the house.
But the idealistic me dictates that I take care more of my clothes and not give them away easily. I agree but just sometimes, I get tired. But then again, if we do our best, we will find time to repair them.
Interestingly, there is this fashion on tattered jeans. Well, it's fashion! It is always dependent on people and the time.
**What we should strive for** is for our ideals not to get tattered and rugged. Because... All that glitters is not gold. And integrity is better than popularity.
Taking a bath is a challenge
During this pandemic, I usually sit on my desk for long stretches without budging. Any thought of getting away from it is unwelcome. Taking a bath is not an exception. It has been a challenge for me as I have to do lots of conditioning before being able to finally dip into the water.
Even let's say the water is hot, I still struggle to do it--taking a bath. I heat the water only to leave it and become cold once again. I stay longer at the toilet seat in the hope of being beckoned to the bathing but to no avail.
I can't ever forget how I was back in school. My hair used to stay as is without being combed. Good thing I had and still have the smooth and silky one so even if I don't take a bath and comb, I still appear okay. But deep inside I feel some self loathing for my extreme laziness. It's like saying, 'I don't want to.' And I really won't budge.
Anyway, the moment I get in the mood for taking a bath, I do it for up to around 3 hours. So from not taking a bath to doing it for longer than usual. I remove all the dirt I could find and use up all the contents of the shampoo. I use up all available water in the bathroom.
When I come out after taking a bath, my older sister would quizzically look at me and I rush to our quarters giggling. It's good after all to take a bath. I promise myself to do it more often.
But then every time it's time for the next, I struggle to do it again. And like always, when I eventually do it, I do it as if I have all the time and water and shampoo and bath soap.
I tried setting up schedules or routines just so I could regularly do it but to no avail. Except perhaps those moments I had a crush! I do it twice a day! Hihihi! And comb and look at myself in the mirror. But on other occasions, I struggle to take a bath. Especially if I already started writing, good if no one is bothering me. Otherwise, they'd get one or two shouts from me. I admit this is wrong but I can't help it.
I did all I could from buying a big basin where I could use as a bath tub, obtaining water heater, etc. just so I will be inspired to take a bath but to no avail. Well I can only take a bath regularly during working days but that's for compliance sake so that I won't smell bad. But I do it with a lot of grrrr and grrrr and grrrr.
One good thing during this pandemic is that I don't have to regularly do it. Fortunately, I am one who doesn't stink easily. I just take showers to remedy my laziness. At least, I had my body washed even if the hair is untouched.
I shared this thing since I'm constantly bugged about it. Am I the only one? For sure I can find friends who share the same experience. At least for me, once I take a bath, I really do it wholeheartedly. If I don't want to, then I won't.
But in time, I really should be able to take a bath regularly. Someday! Teehee!
The Pen is my Helper, I will Take Care of It
The pen is my helper. I use it to write down my seed phrase. I use it to back my mind up, because my memory is not reliable.
I use my pen to write down my thoughts. When I do not have it near me, I have to use my laptop or cellphone. But it is much better to use my pen because I have penmanship with it.
When I go to town, I should bring it with me. I use it to fill forms. From supermarkets to malls and to other establishments.
I will take care of my pen because of the following reasons:
I misplace it always. I sometimes think that I put it in my bag but I placed it near the fire. I purchase 10 or so only to misplace all of them and I have to buy again. This time I am more careful.
Borrowers forget to return my pen. They thought its theirs but not. It is mine. I always have to make the first move. Otherwise, borrowers don't mind at all returning my pen.
It will blot if not taken cared of. I have to search the net to know how to keep it.
Children will play with it and destroy it if left laying on the floor. They use it for purposes of vandalizing walls and other places. I have to keep it away from them.
Other people will take it if no one is near it. They will steal it and claim it's theirs. So I have to always secure it.
Therefore I have to take care of my pen.
It helps me to write heartbreaking poems and silly stories:
"*You are there,*
*laughing.*
*While I'm here,*
*crying.*"
There once was a girl who cared so much for her dog. She cared so much for it that she gave it away to a family who will be able to take care of it.
Goodbye dog, goodbye love.
Most importantly, it helps me speed up my writing when I am rushing to solve complex Math problems. It helps me write faster and I don't have to look for symbols that fit the notation of my solution.
The pen is my helper.
I will take care of it.
**Hi! I am Frie Lincs and I need your support. Very much. Consider sponsoring me if you are inspired by what I write.**
I write any stuff that interests me. I write a little about crypto. But I write most of random things but has entertaining value. I am fond of writing and I can't imagine my life without it. From time to time I take a break from writing and either I sleep or go from place to place.
Today marks the most important move that I've made in my life. I won't be promising anything since promises are meant to be broken (or so I've heard). Therefore I can only say much as I will just write. Whatever I have to. Looking forward to more interaction in this platform.
@FrieLincs
