Don't be too surprised to see the letter, I just want to say "goodbye" to this past relationship.
Today is July 30, 2014. Time is endless. She always sneaks away no matter whether we like it or not. It is true that these 30 days seem to have passed away to me. But I am so grateful that everything is getting better for me now, every second I can quietly listen to my own voice, because I will not let her be abandoned by myself in the desert again.
Don’t you know, at the moment you turn around, it should be from that moment on, I found myself being emptied severely and unable to sleep all night and all night, it feels like my soul is dead, and my body is still in At that time, I desperately shrank my body into the corner, thinking of burying myself in the wall and then burying myself alive. That feeling was terrible, and even for a moment, I found that I lost my body. Breathe. This state has been maintained for about a week. No surprise, I was reported to the hospital this week and took a bunch of unknown medicines every day. I found that during that period or even in the next 2 weeks, I would encounter a little bit of things. I shed tears, regardless of the occasion, regardless of time, and cannot stay at home alone. My sister has not been on business trips. For about the first 3 weeks, I couldn't work and live normally. I didn't even have the courage and strength to look at myself in the mirror. Almost all social networking is blocked, because I don't know how to cry about this relationship to my friends.
Of course you don’t know. Even in such a painful time, I still look forward to the day when I open my eyes and find that the morning is so beautiful. I start my life, enjoy my life, and truly fall in love with myself. Start by yourself and accept yourself. And for this, I worked very hard, trying to force myself not to think about you, not to think about the beautiful blueprint for the future drawn together, delete all words related to you and throw away everything related to you. The first thing I want to do at this moment is to erase your traces in my world before I can start a new life. My sister asked me if I hate you. I think you might also want to know the answer. In fact, I didn’t. I didn’t even think about this question before my sister asked it, because I don’t know why I hate you. , Not fulfilling the promise? use? hurt? ......Neither, because choosing to love each other is a matter of two people. From the beginning to the end, I was not forced, but you let me understand that the vows are ultimately unreliable. At the opening of a play with the noise of gongs and drums, it is necessary to know that the lights disappear after the end. I don’t hate you at all, although this has nothing to do with you, because I understand that hating a person is definitely not the other person, but myself, so tolerance is selfish to a certain extent, because the most direct benefit The person is always himself. So, I don't hate you, because I love myself.
Even if I didn’t even complain, even if we embraced each other enthusiastically the night before, we would each end at dawn. This kind of end caught everyone off guard, even if you were brewing in my heart, I was silly on the side. Stick to the so-called firmness, but I still didn't complain, because the moment you decided to turn around, you were no longer in my life, and I, even less willing to complain about anyone or anything in my life.
Some time ago, I asked myself countless times, why this relationship made me so painful, because I didn't want to give up? Because I lost the dominance over a person, one thing, or even a relationship? Do you still love you so much? Looking up or just reluctant to paint the blueprint for the future together? answer? The answer is all yes and no. Then I found that this question is of no value and meaning, so I decided not to ask myself, neither will I lose confidence in the future, nor will I give up on myself, because my life should do more valuable things and love People who love each other.
Even though it’s not the first time I’ve been in love, it’s not the first time I feel pain, but the pain in the past is weak compared to this time, maybe because this relationship has been latent for too long, maybe everything is with myself Imagination is similar, and there is no reserved investment, and the pain is often beyond recognition.
27 years old, in the most proud youth of life, this kind of pain came here age, I think God is kind to me, she did not come when I was 22 years old, because at that time I was too young to have such a The courage and ability to bear, think, and grow; it didn't come until I was 30, because this age is too cruel for me who desires a family so much. So at the age of 27, she came just right, and she made me continue to reflect on love, my love, yes, it is my love, and has nothing to do with others