The Wind that Blew like Gyrating Ostriches

Kate Ball looked at the solid ruler in her hands and felt stressed.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her creepy surroundings. She had always loved idyllic Sludgeside with its vigilant, vain volcanoes. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel stressed.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Wenna Ramsbottom. Wenna was a violent banker with pretty elbows and curvaceous abs.

Kate gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was an admirable, forgetful, brandy drinker with grubby elbows and dirty abs. Her friends saw her as a mighty, magnificent monster. Once, she had even rescued a rotten old lady from a burning building.

But not even an admirable person who had once rescued a rotten old lady from a burning building, was prepared for what Wenna had in store today.

The wind blew like gyrating ostriches, making Kate angry.

As Kate stepped outside and Wenna came closer, she could see the tan smile on her face.

"Look Kate," growled Wenna, with a delightful glare that reminded Kate of violent humming birds. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want peace. You owe me 4987 euros."

Kate looked back, even more angry and still fingering the solid ruler. "Wenna, hands up or I'll shoot," she replied.

They looked at each other with happy feelings, like two blushing, beautiful blue bottles shouting at a very kind snow storm, which had classical music playing in the background and two loving uncles laughing to the beat.

Kate regarded Wenna's pretty elbows and curvaceous abs. "I don't have the funds ..." she lied.

Wenna glared. "Do you want me to shove that solid ruler where the sun don't shine?"

Kate promptly remembered her admirable and forgetful values. "Actually, I do have the funds," she admitted. She reached into her pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Wenna looked anxious, her wallet blushing like a grim, grotesque guillotine.

Then Wenna came inside for a nice glass of brandy.

THE END