'Right now I have two bodies in front of my eyes. Blood clots on the floor of the room have started to darken, flies are buzzing over the blood clots. With a bifurcated head of a man, blood is still dripping. A few hours have passed and two have died and I am sitting silently staring at the two dead bodies to add another dead body.
My world was around the man that my mother was. I was staring at his face for so many days. Today the bloody frozen body of that man is lying in front of my eyes. The other body is my own uncle's, his head is split in two and he is a few meters away from me.
I myself will commit suicide in some time. There is no desire to survive in this strange world, nor is there any meaning. But for all the love in my mind, for which I learned to smile anew, the mind is desperate to see his face for the last time. I want to end this life by hanging a rope around my neck. But Rakin's face is floating in front of his eyes again and again.
The clock is ticking at its speed. A group of night watch birds are singing and dancing on the branches of a tree. The moon is laughing in your mind from one sky to another. The humming of the wind is coming to the ears. Storms are raging outside, and the thought of leaving the world is on my mind.
I called Rakin and asked him to meet me. He'll probably be gone in a while. After spending some time with him, loving him for the last time, I will say goodbye to this selfish world.
Blood clots in the room need to be cleaned. For the time being I am stopping writing, it will take time to clean the blood clots on the floor. The storm has started outside. Maybe he will match himself in the rain water and come running to call for my love. '
'Why did you suddenly want to see me in this torrential rain, my madman?'
'Does the madman understand? He can do whatever he wants. '
'So say tonight?'
'I wanted to go with you in this dream world, I composed love dramas with you on this color stage. I couldn't give much to the man I love. Today or not, in the midst of this season's freezing cold hostile weather, I put myself in your shoes. Putting my head on your open chest, I took a deep breath for the last time. We talked eye to eye for a few moments. I will lose my dream state, I will feel the unspoken words of my heart in the middle of my limbs. '
'What happened to you?'
'What will happen?'
'Why are you saying all of a sudden?'
'I can't live in this world, I want to breathe. But it is also afraid to contain this poisonous air.
'Why are your eyes red? Why are you sweating so much? '
'I lost my existence a few moments ago.'
'I don't understand any of your words. Where's Auntie? '
'No mother.'
'You mean no? Where did you go, and why did you ask me to come home alone? '
'My mother is gone to sleep.'
'Are you okay? Has the body hurt? '
'Rakin, I am not with me at the moment. I lost myself in the middle of a body made of flesh and blood. I have lost myself trying to save my existence. '
'Tell me where is Auntie?'
'Mother is dead, no, she didn't die, I killed her.'
Rakin listened to me and stood back a few feet. He is staring at me for a moment. I know he may be thinking I'm joking, or trying to understand my current state of mind.
'You, you killed your mother?'
'I didn't kill.'
'Did I just kill you?'
'I didn't kill myself, but my mother died for me.'
'Please tell me what happened? To be honest, I am very scared to hear you. Bigger than that, I can't find the tip of the iceberg. '
'Mama killed Mama.'
He listened to me and came a few steps forward and said keeping his eyes on me.
'Uncle?'
'Yes! That beast killed my mother. Mother died trying to save her treasure from the hands of a ferocious animal. His own blood brother killed him. Today, like every day, his blood brother enters the house after drinking alcohol. Trying to satisfy his sexual desire on his sister's child. I loved the man I had put in the seat of the gods since I was a child more than my own mother and that man wanted to make me his victim with his sexist eyes. The father lost a girl from small to big, how did that man come to touch me with his evil eye? Her sister could not bear her brother's misdeeds, she could not see her daughter being raped. While trying to save the girl from her brother's violent clutches, she was unable to cope with the kick of her brother and died after being hit on the wall. Before my mother's last breath, she told me in a broken tone that she would not be defeated by an animal to have her own life. Didn't I lose to the man rupee beast. I killed that animal mama to protect my honor. I picked up the table lap and split it in two with a bar on my head. '
'You're your uncle ...'
'Yes! I killed my own uncle. I didn't kill him thinking he was my uncle. I killed him thinking he was a rapist. I hit him to protect myself from a rapist. '
'Can't believe you did that?'
Rakin is shaking, shaking terribly. Her forehead is sweating profusely. He is staring at me for a moment. There was a look of fear on his face.
'Right now you and I and two other people are in this house, but the other two are dead. Let's start with love. Then I will say goodbye to you and leave the world. '
'You mean goodbye?'
'I mean, I'm going to commit suicide. Do you know how to end your life? I have found many ways but at present it is not possible to do all that. So I hung the rope with the ceiling fan in the next room, I will hang on that rope. The other two bodies are under the bed in that room.
He came forward to me, not too close. He stared at me for a few moments, grabbed me and started crying.
Said in a voice involving tears.
'I will not let you die. My world is dark without you. It's good that you sat down to walk together. To tell the story of survival of the two together in old age to grandchildren. So why do you want to end your survival story today? '
"I can't live with a blood-stained body in the midst of this selfish world."
'I have drawn you to live together in happiness and sorrow. Won't you give me a chance to stand by your side today? Not only did I become a partner in the story of survival, but I also kept our love story alive. You don't have to say goodbye to the world. You hit to save you, and he's dead. We will now tell the police everything and they will come and reveal the truth of the incident.
"It would be better to cross the Hereafter than to be trapped between four walls."
'Will you leave me alone?'
'I can't embrace your existence with my own existence. I can't put blood-stained hands in your mouth. '
'Listen! You are not a murderer. You have done everything to keep your body holy. And that beast killed your mother. No child can forgive his mother's killer. Give me a chance to tell you the story of your survival. '
'Even if you survive, you will have to be defeated by the law. Our law now speaks for justice or injustice. '
'As long as I live, I will fight against injustice in the midst of this world to breathe life into you and write a new story of your survival. Love is not just a feeling, love merges with existence. My love for you has disappeared between the two of them. In the middle of my heart, my love has embraced you with all its mighty birds. '
Not alone in being proletarian,
Who has love,
Not lost, lost destination
If there is love.
On the side that is not happy but sad,
Love him
Don't run away in danger,
It can be dealt with hand in hand.
Love is not a matter of limbs, it is a matter of feeling,
If love is next,
Let's go to the battlefield with courage,
Throw the power of justice against injustice.
Love never ends
It is a story of survival of two people and they have to promise love.
The days of sorrow will be turned into happy days,
The story of survival wrapped in love in the last afternoon will be revealed with a gentle smile.
*Finished*
