A doctor liked my girlfriend Tithi. Not so much a doctor; Doctor who finished FCPS first part. I was studying in the final year of political science and then I became a foreigner. The only tool of the people involved in unequal fighting is mercy or kindness. Despite my ego, I went to PG Hospital at the request of Tithi, with the implicit desire to see the doctor.
The future groom looked at me and smiled and said,
'There can be love like this at this age. These
I am not old enough to care. You still
Students, too, study political science again; You are now
So you can't ---- economic in the future like me
And social security can't give him. So,
What is the benefit of ruining another person's life? '
I walked on the sidewalk for many nights that day ....
My incompetence is like that doctor gentleman
Obscenely exposed that, mine
Like rotten fish that cannot be sold in the market
It seemed. I spent a lot of time wondering if I had any right to live in this world with such a big disability.
Sadness never comes alone. They come in groups; Holding hands. My sorrows also came in groups. After Tithi's marriage, I had to take classes in one department with her for another year. That year was like a long era. Time stood still, ticking and ticking, but it did not move.
Every day I felt like it was my last day at university. I used to run towards Shahbag with my head down. As if I'm too busy. There is a lot of work stuck for me. But as soon as I went to Shahbag, my speed would slow down. He used to sit on the back of an old bullock cart. Often the doctor gentleman would come on a motorbike and drop off the date. When the exam or class was over, he would fly from the sky like an eagle and pick up the date.
At that time I was just looking for a hide. There were so many buildings around, there were trees but I couldn't find anything to hide me from .......
Why did the doctor go to a Middle Eastern country with the date without finishing the FCPS when the university exams were over? The last time the two met was in secret before leaving.
Tithi rolled her eyes and said, 'You are always in my bosom and will be; I'll take you no matter where I go. I will live with you in the world of my mind till death. '
I wondered how Tithi would take me across seven seas and thirteen rivers to the land of the desert. I wanted to fly sometimes. I wanted to run away to Tithi but once again I resigned due to feeling of incompetence.
The date became Cox's Bazar beach for me after spending two or four days ........
Today, after a long time, those memories came alive in my mind. I used to talk to Tithi in my mind for a long time. I used to suffer thinking about my own incompetence. To mourn with the corpse of a dream lying face down
After those days, when I really got up, I wanted to be worldly, then I found myself in another role in that old sphere puzzle and got a little disappointed. I say to the boy in a very soft voice, 'Would you like some tea? 'As if he had known me for many days. The boy looked at me with red eyes.
I clearly understand that he is engaged in a big war with himself. Biojis do not have the strength to fight a well-paid job like me, to drive a car. He must be feeling helpless thinking that he doesn't have a single weapon to fight me.
While waiting for tea, I leaned towards him. I want to know, 'Is there any relationship between you and Amina? '
The boy looked at me with tired eyes and shook his head. I say, 'How many days? '--- Two years. -
- Does Amina know that you are here? A hesitation appeared on the boy's face. But he does not answer.
The boy wants to hide the role of the lover in the conspiracy to send the lover to the future groom with the demand of love.
I once thought the girl knew nothing and again I think the girl sent the boy. As soon as the boy's less expensive Chinese mobile phone on the table trembled at the sound, the boy and I looked at the mobile phone monitor together.
I see there, one message; Below is the name of the sender of the message - Mary Jan. Although I am a person of a slightly advanced generation, I know that 'Mary Jan' is not a human name. This is the code name of Bioge's lover.
Amina's name. The boy's code name must have been saved in the girl's mobile. The boy quickly took the mobile from the table behind my eyes. I noticed a tendency to hide Amina again and again as I wanted to hide the date.
I say in imitation of that doctor 10 years ago, I can either respect Amina's love and move away from Amina's life. But you are that
There is no guarantee that he will get Amina?
It will take time to stand on your own two feet, but a lot? The boy looked at me once and lowered his face. He seems to accept that there is a strong argument in my words. Yet he drowns and says, 'What's wrong with trying? Trying is also a qualification of a lover. '
After 33 years of life, I got a new definition of boyfriend's qualifications. I was at once fascinated and amazed at the boy's ability to discover a basic ability to comfort himself.
Yet before I remove myself from Amina's life I want to know for sure, 'How do I know Amina sent you to me? ', The boy is a little embarrassed. Helpless, he took a business card out of his book pocket, looked the other way and handed it to me. I take the business card in my hand and see that it is my business card.
I went to see Amina at a fast food shop. Chicken fry oil is still stuck in one corner of the card. Although these days have faded a lot. If I wish, I can reject the love of Amina and Bayezid. I can bring Amina home thinking that time will forget everything. But my mind interrupted. To me Amina becomes Tithi.
I think they will meet secretly somewhere the day before my stay. The pre-separation pain of the two of them haunted me. Like Tithi, Amina will say to Bayazid, 'You will be with me forever.
The hand of imagination cannot be extended to an unseen person. But after meeting the boy, I can no longer think of Amina alone. Amina and Bayazid become a picture of two captive people in one frame.
Imagining sitting on the verandah and watching the moon, I went to swing in the rocking chair and saw that Amina's chair was not rocking by itself. The chair is swaying and a long shadow is standing behind him .. .........
The shadow of fascination in Amina's eyes is not for my presence; For the fictional presence of the Bayezids.
After 10 years, I understand how Tithi took me to the desert country. The words of Tithi do not seem to me to be comforting today. It seems that there are some fortunate words that have come up from the depths of the mind.
I understand that the boy will come to my house with Amina. Amina will hold one side of the fence all the time. I am sure I will not be happy with Amina, because she will marry like a corrupt woman. His mind will remain with the Bayezids but my family will. I don't want the happiness of the world to be played by the happiness of a corrupt woman .............
At the time of departure, I gave the boy another new business card. I tore the old one given to Amina and threw it in the sewer. Putting my hand on Bayezid's back, I said, "I wish you success in your love."
The boy smiled a little sweetly, held my hand for a long time and wiped his eyes.
--- He walks along the sidewalk in such a way that I think a peacock is dancing on the sidewalk. My eyes get wet with joy, not with difficulty. ----
The pain of defeat that I used to carry on my chest for 12 years now seems to have subsided. Standing at the gate of PG Hospital and despising my love, Tithi's husband must have known by now that a lover never dies if he does not want a lover; No lover is defeated .......
- I got in the car, turned off the AC and wiped my eyes.