There Are No Wrong Feelings

0 18
Avatar for Eyekae
Written by
2 years ago

Growing up i often heard why certain feelings are not socially acceptable, "you are not supposed to hate people" said mum when as a kid of about 7, i had confided in her that i had no love for a neighborhood kid that wont allow me on his bike.

Just like hate, there are lots of other feelings the modern society has come to regard as anti-social and should be beaten down as soon as they arise; Anger, envy, sadness, shame, guilt etc. are all on this table.

As an adult i have come to a different conclusion from those held by people like my wonderful orthodox-christian mother. Which is that "There are no wrong human feelings", We may have wrong actions in the sense of actions that run contrary to the written and unwritten rules of human society. But fundamentally all our feelings are ours and should be acknowledged even if they are not necessarily the best pointer to right action.

To try and force one's feeling to be something other that what they are is an absurd undertaking and furthermore dishonest, This idea that there are no wrong feelings can be particularly threatening to those who are afraid to feel in any case. Those who feel that if not immediately suppressed and beaten down their feelings will lead them into chaotic and reckless kind of actions.

But if for a change we would allow our feelings, looking upon their coming and going as something that is as natural and necessary as the changes in the weather, the coming of night and day and the change of the seasons, we would be at peace. For what is problematic for the modern society is not so much our struggles with each other as our struggles with our own individual feelings, of what we would allow ourselves to feel and what we wouldn't allow ourselves to feel.

We are ashamed to feel profoundly sad so much that we may cry -it isn't manly to cry-

Ashamed to loathe so much that we go out of our way and hurt another, but honest hatred rare leads to violence, it is unacknowledged hatred that presents a perfect recipe for disaster.

Ashamed to be so overwhelmed by the beauty of something, be it a member of the opposite sex or a natural landscape that we go out of our mind with this beauty. We crave control not realising that the very denial of our feelings is how we lose control.

No feeling is ever wrong, itp may not be a right guide to what we should do. In other words, having an intense feeling of love towards a person doesn't necessarily compel one to break into their house to be with such a person, neither does having an intense feeling of hate towards someone mean to go out and cut his throat, but it is right to have the feeling of love or hate itself.

When a person comes to terms with his feelings, he is then positioned to control it, like a sailor always keeps the wind in his sails whether he wants to sail with the wind or against it, he always uses the wind, never denying it. In exactly the same way, A person has to keep going with his own feeling wether he wants to act in a way that the feeling suggests or not, he has to keep his feeling with him for that is his own self essence.

When one gets in the habit of denying his own feelings he has essentially lost himself and become a sort of an empty mask without any real substance, an empty projection of hollow laughs and goodwill.

image credit: unsplash

What is, is always what one feels genuinely and this must always be allowed, This doesn't in any way mean that we are always compelled to act on the basis of what we feel. But the expression, the recognition and the acceptance of what is honestly felt is the equivalent of the mystic vision that whatever exists is the manifestation of the divinity.

-1
$ 0.00
Sponsors of Eyekae
empty
empty
empty
Avatar for Eyekae
Written by
2 years ago

Comments