The ultimate crush I didn't get

I'll take a break from crypto topics since Valentine's day is approaching. I'll talk about the ultimate crush I didn't get.

I am an aggressive type of girl, whenever I like a guy I will do my best to get him lol. I dunno why I am like this but I am just a straight forward person, I talk bluntly about whatever I feel without backing off. But I am not aggressive in bed lol, I am lazy 😂.

Before I became a wild biatch, I was once a shy type and have an ultimate crush in our church, I am not a Catholic some other religion. I have an ultimate crush when I was 14 years old, he is a drummer and a guitarist in our church, not just because he is talented and smart, he is also a handsome guy. I am kinda excited every time Sunday comes because I get to see him near. We were schoolmates during Elementary days but I am still young at that time and didn't know about crushes yet. It just started when we were in high school already but the sad thing is we studied at a different school, he studied privately while I was in public school. So, I only have the chance to see him during Sunday, or every time we have a Bible study, we are always present because we represent the youth of our church.

I didn't have the chance to tell anyone that he is my crush, because my cousin also has a crush on him and she already tells anyone that she has a crush on him, the guy even knows it already. While me on the other hand, just secretly adoring him. Sometimes I caught him staring at me but my cousin will always interrupt and told me that her crush looks at her, whenever we sit down together, sharing her giggles with me. I end up confused about who he looks at me or my cousin lol.

We talk seldom too, I don't know but I felt there's a gap between us, we just talk Church-related topics and I am not comfortable too whenever he is near because my heart beats faster and faster that sometimes I am catching up my breath, so I prefer when he is distance with me or else I will die early. Just seeing him is enough, seeing the strands of his hair, his back, shoulders, knees, and toes is enough. Just a wholesome crush story.

One time, we have a church camp at Camiguin Island. It was the best memories I have with him, well it was the best moments I also have with the Lord, I got to experience His presence. It's a kinda good feeling having a guy who is also God-fearing but I remember he is not mine at all, it is also memorable because it was the first time we held our hands. After all, we have some activities that need to hold each other hands, and he smiles at me, my heart beats faster again lol. I felt so kilig, that I can hardly breathe, that's how I felt every time there's a lot of butterflies in my stomach 😁.

He is the ultimate crush I didn't get because, I think it's only me who has a crush on him, my crush lasted for 3 years. I didn't make a move or anything because he is my church mate and I am trying to be wholesome, I was wholesome that time since the wild side of me didn't come out yet. Wild in a sense, I can play games with boys especially those who are also into playing.

Sometimes remembering good old days will make you feel young, just seeing your crush and you heart goes up and down, your stomach had a butterflies then your mind gets complicated lol.

So, that's all I didn't get him, and I think this is boring lol. Nothing is exciting these days. I am more excited to talk about BCH but naah.

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's day! Happy Valentine's in advance!