Negative sides of building emotional walls

This a continuation one of my articles which is the “Positive side of building walls”. I should have written it in one go but it would make the article long and boring. Although I know that there are seldom users who are reading articles here now in read.cash because some of us are busy with our outside world and some users are in the noise.cash making noise rather than reading long articles.

As I have said building walls have positive sides and everything has its opposite side, so I am going to write about the negative side effects of building walls. Some people build walls to surround themselves with it hoping it will protect them including myself but without us knowing that the longer or the higher walls we build, the higher the chances that it will harm us instead of protecting us.

Negative Effects of Building Walls;

• ∆ You don't trust people enough

“Trust no one” that's one of the mantras of those people who are afraid to get betrayed or get swayed by the people they trusted with. I don't trust other people enough because I tend to limit it, I don't judge people but I also don't trust them. In my reality, I always had a barrier between other people especially in giving trust. The wall I created seems overboard because sometimes even if the person has proven their ways to get my trust, I still don't trust them. It is very unfair to the people who are genuine to me. This isn't protecting me but harming me instead because in this life we should still believe that humanity resides. It is harming the supposed harmonious relationship between other people because the walls are prohibiting you to trust them. I developed this attitude when I have encountered several betrayals from the people I used to trust, and now I am being though that I cannot trust anyone with my all, it always comes with some doubts.

• ∆ Hard to please

People who build walls are hard to please, you know why? Simply because they don't trust your intentions or they simply don't want you to get in because the walls are in the middle. I am having hard times with this, especially with the relationship I had with my partner, I tend to question if his actions are genuine or not. No matter how he showed his efforts, I still doubt him sometimes probably because of these walls even though he did get in with it, the walls are strong to break it in one go. I still have to fully break these walls because I don't like the fact that sometimes I don't appreciate genuine actions.

• ∆ Invalidating other feelings

This action has been rampant to me especially when I started to thicken the walls I created. I don't care about other people's opinions and feelings because I don't give a damn about anything or anyone. Having these walls can make a person so mean. Sometimes I get so mean in giving my opinion or advice when I see that other people's problems or situations are lighter than what I used to have without thinking much about their feelings. We all know and must consider that people's pain tolerance varied from each other. The walls are preventing you to be soft and you become inconsiderate.

• ∆ You became aloof

Having walls will make a person aloof because they tend to limit themselves to be involved or mingle with other people. They don't socialize, a person should socialize sometimes because it will help them grow and build confidence. Being aloof will give a negative impression to other people, it's not like we have to impress other people but we need to have some good impression sometimes so we can easily catch up with others. It's like if you are aloof, you are being rude because you don't mingle with others. “No man is an island ” we need other people, it's good to have companions rather than being alone for the rest of our lives. I am aloof for so many years and to be honest most of the time it's also suffocating to be alone, being trapped on the walls I have created that were thick and high.

These things I have mentioned are the negative effects of the walls I created. I am trying my best to get rid of these walls because I don't like the results of it. Having walls also limit a person's growth, I mean you cannot soar high because you are being trapped by the walls you created. Walls are created to protect but at some point, it will also isolate the person's growth.

All statements are based on my experience, but I'll leave you some links for references if you'd like to dig deeper into the effects of building psychological walls by experiencing grief or other traumatic events or why some people are building emotional walls.

https://whatsyourgrief.com/building-emotional-walls/

https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2017/10/the-sad-truth-about-why-people-build-emotional-walls/

https://www.puckermob.com/moblog/read-this-if-you-are-building-a-wall-around-your-heart/

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Thank you for reading!