Dear Current Self,

Dear Self,

I know you've been having a hard time these days. Oh! I forgot you've been having hard times since you existed. I am so sorry that you have to go through all that, but we can't change a thing for now that's the fact.

You are still powerless to change your situation or live the life you want due to many reasons that you have to consider. I know that when you go to the bathroom you put your two palms on your face and stare at the wooden door blankly as you are uncertain if things will get better ahead or not.

The fact that you change your mood so fast made more things complicated on your end without notice from the people around you. They just believe you're unsociable and don't care about your surroundings at all.

Please know that I understand you, you just want a place where you can call your own, be yourself without limits, and feels you BELONG.

I admire your courage in learning things and improving yourself, I was delighted to see how enthusiastic you are. But then I also saw your struggles as you are uncertain if the things you are learning will be relevant or help you to get out to where you are right now.

Please know that whatever you are trying to pursue it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time.. it might happen after a year or two or even more, but as long as you don't give up, you will be fine.

Just keep going even if you are confused, even if no one believes in you, you alone is enough to keep you going. You might stumble along the way, but as long as you keep picking up yourself.. you'll surely get to your destination of success.

Always remember you are braver than you think, your resiliency will lead you to where you want to be. You are a great multi-tasker, just look at yourself writing this piece while feeding your daughter.

Holding your emotions not to burst out, so you may appear fine in front of your daughter and husband. Because no matter how you express yourself they will never understand.

What you are feeling is valid, but don't ask for validation over it because some people especially the people that surround you can never understand it. You are going to be fine, please understand that there are battles you have to overcome by yourself.

Don't rely too much on anyone, you are strong enough to stand on your own. I know you wanted to be heard, but sometimes silent screams are better than screaming out loud if you still have unheard results. At least you save the shame yourself.

I understand that being a woman is hard, especially when you step into motherhood. The more complicated feelings come in from different factors, it's tough dealing with them but you are tougher.

Believe me, you have the strength that you need to overcome your battles. You are a fearless warrior on your battlefield. Keep honing your strength until you have enough power to change your situation, I know you can and definitely will. Just endure a little bit.

No matter what happens just keep going, you'll get the hang of it but never hang your head on a rope🪢.

Love,

Eybyoung