You are furious,
I was frightened, frightened by your actions
You cried out loud, I feel dejected
Did I cause all your misery?
Does my existence suck your life?
I felt sorry for you, I felt sorry for me as well
I approached you well, you slammed the door,
Mom are you alright?
No! I wasn't! because of you my life sucks!
You shouted, shouted with so much anguish
Mom, I'm sorry if I caused your agony!
I let it all pass because I love you, mom
I loved you, even if you hate me
I grow up with all your disgust,
Until I can't take any more
I drunk myself, so I can have the courage
Courage to talk back,
To defend me from your bullying
You are my mom, you should be the one protecting me but why? Why are you so bully?
I didn't ask you to bring me to this world,
Yes, you are miserable but have you ever think I am more miserable than you?
So miserable because everyone bullies me including you!
Because of you, I am afraid
Afraid to trust anybody, afraid to love
Afraid, to take the steps
You should've let me see you ruin,
Ruining your life, because it made me fragile
So fragile, that breaks my emotional and mental welfare
Because of you, I am afraid.
Now, I am smiling
Smiling that I have surpassed all the misery of childhood,
To you mom, I still love you
Because you are my mom
I love you because I understand your pain
Because of you, I've learned to build a wall
Wall to protect me, not to let anyone who isn't worth it
I have learned to distinguish who is real and fake
Because of you, I became strong
Strong to face this cruel world
Because of you I am strong, strong enough to survive all the storms
Because of you,......
I am alive.
Insert πΆ : Because of You by Kelly Clarkson (watch the MV and you will understand this sentiment)
This poem is dedicated to the all unwanted child, and a mother who became miserable when they had each other. Sometimes our parents are our great influencer, by their actions. You cannot tell your child "Do not smoke! If you yourself are a smoker". "Do not drink liquor if you yourself are a drunkard " and expect them to follow your teachings. Being a parent also means we are the role model of our child, how they portray themselves in the future. Not every child has a strength that was built in, some of them are weak and fragile that makes them have a death note wish, so, please parents embrace and protect your child. You are the essential foundation of their growth.
Very great