Lucius A. Seneca once said, "If the intention is not fair the deed will not be good." Everyone would have something to say about what is fair or just, what is not.
One of the definitions is: Honesty is a frequent and correct action towards another, his property and interests, that is, correctness in relation to the ruling moral norms. Parents teach us from an early age the importance of honesty. We will not question that in this article because honesty is really important. The subject of this article is our expectations in relation to honesty and justice in our lives.
Namely, many of us live in the belief that life must always be fair and if that is not the case - problems arise. The belief that life should always be fair is quite unrealistic, limiting, and destructive. Everyday reality provides us with frequent opportunities to see reality, and that is that life is not always fair, at least not in the form we imagine and in the time we expect. How often do we witness that a worse job candidate got a job, that a worse student was praised, that a wonderful person got sick, that some baby guy got on the lottery and lost everything, that a lying and corrupt politician won the election, etc.…?
The fact is that injustice is sometimes really hard to accept. It invades our value system and evokes intense emotions and a need for reaction. How do we deal with injustice when it catches up with us? Our most common answers are turning into a victim (system, family, circumstances…) or retaliating by doing injustice. By doing so, we pay double the price: the first time when injustice happens, the second time when we allow the injustice done to rule our lives.
To prevent this from happening, I suggest the following:
Call injustice by its name, do not invent excuses, excuses, etc. for some behavior or person (eg not arriving on time, not fulfilling a promise, lying or some other behavior to be characterized as such and as undesirable / unacceptable). Characterizing behavior as unacceptable does not mean (re) judging the person, but behavior (there is a big difference between the statement "You are irresponsible and dishonest!" And the statement "When you are late and do not respond, I feel like you do not respect and respect me enough." ).
Allow yourself hurt and anger (not resentment and anger).
Decide to stand up for yourself and try to correct the injustice (assess how important it is to us because for some things it is worth taking up and fighting for, for some it is not).
Try not to take the injustice personally because it leads to an overreaction. It should always be borne in mind that the injustice done to us speaks of the person who committed it not of us.
To forgive the injustice committed and not to let it disturb our lives, to manage it. This does not mean forgetting or allowing it to happen again - it means willingly deciding to move on, leaving injustice where it belongs - in the past.
Learn from that experience, draw lessons that will help us deal better with some other injustices in the future.
Injustice hurts me a lot, it doesn't matter if I was wronged or someone else, in my opinion it doesn't matter. I never learned to deal with it, to “drive out justice” even if it was to my own detriment