They say love is blind, but marriage is the eye opener

Let me explain the above statement; the formal is a fallacy while the latter is the reality. How? am glad you asked and I will explain in detail.

I understand people fall in love in mysterious ways even with a touch of the hand. I understand perfectly well that the feeling cannot be explained, to the extent that if you don't hear his or her voice your day is not complete. In fact you don't see each other's fault. You close your eyes to them all. You think you know everything about him or her.

Kai have been there too so I can relate. I remember the days of MTN extra cool, those are days when men refused to sleep from 12:30am to 4/4:30am🙄. A great initiative, a wonderful marketing strategy it was. Wow that company was a blessing to my gem and I then, I think I need to buy their shares. We had a great time talking and talking 😁 so I know how you feel.

As good as all these marriage has the capacity to make you see. I think there is magic wand in marriage that makes people see. I call marriage a place where realities finds its true and unique expression. The guy or lady you think you knew everything about might be the opposite.

Guys for example have a way of making sure their room is clean when they are expecting their love. So it is natural to assume that he's the most cleanest 🙄 but marriage has a way of bringing out the real him. You can pretend in courtship but you cannot pretend for ever. The man just comes in from work drop his shoe, belt and everything in the sitting room. There are loads of examples with ladies too. Some guys assumed that their partner was a great cook but they later discovered they are wrong.

See, we don't know some things. There are hidden but "not harmful" behaviors, some Intentional or unintentional but marriage is an exposer! whether harmful or not.

This is not intended to create fear or lose hope in marriage but to communicate truth thereby pulling down the wall of ignorance, deception and lust in the name of love ravaging our world. Setting you on the path of reality, responsibility and godliness.

What then is the way to go in order to withstand the mighty wave of disappointment and heartbreak in marriage?

✓ MAKE SURE YOU SEE. Even in the midst of your lovey dovy be loaded with wisdom to see. Be sensitive. Don't overlook the red flags (harmful behaviors especially) because of love. When you see something say something. Discuss it. Don't say S/he will change in marriage. There is no magic wand in marriage that changes people into saints.

✓ MANAGE EXPECTATIONS. The reason why many continue to fail in episodes in marriage is because the gap between their reality and expectations is too wide. They fail to adopt the WHAT IFS thinking (Realistic thinking).

Not that you are praying for the worse to happen but you are preparing your mind for the worst case scenario. This alone is a shock absorbing mechanism.

Guys/ladies come to terms with the reality that every man be it male or female born of a woman has the potential to disappoint you.

✓ Don't remove Him from the equation. God is love so He knows how to help you love for real. It is dangerous to try to navigate the love water without the Love Himself! Excuse me you are going on a lonely journey. Involve Him right from the start. Don't say He knows already, get Him involve! God is not an intruder.

Many shout God when the chips are down, don't wait till then. Of course you don't involve Him because of the prize of marriage only, you involve Him because He is God, you do so because He's love. He will guide you, He will lead. He's still in the business of doing so.

Forever I will always say is too long a time to be unhappy.

You know I love you.

An impactful and responsible relationship and marriage is possible.