My struggle with sexual desire (paul story)

MY struggle with My Sexual Urge

I had this very strong urge for sex as I was growing up.

It became almost uncontrollable at a point. The desire to explore my sexuality, especially when female folks are around me, was so overwhelming.

Intentionally, I would indulge the company of girls just to ease of the sexual tension.

At a point, I was nicknamed 'Balogun leyin obinrin' (Meaning: Balogun who flocks around ladies) because I was always in the company of girls.

This continued until at age 19 when I had an encounter with Jesus Christ. My passion to grow spiritually was so strong that it almost suppressed my sexual urge.

However, it did not take so much time for me to discover that my sexuality is part of me and no level of spirituality can take away my sexual urge.

I noticed that some times, even after a very serious prayer session, I still have this very strong desire to have sexual intercourse. Often I would cry to God and ask what was wrong with me.

Then, I would be fine again but the desire is still there. I prayed for God to take the desire away but there was no answer.

As I grew in the knowledge of God and in the understanding of my body system, I realized that my sexual urge is a natural desire that God created in me and expects me to grow with it.

God expects me to learn mastery over every aspect of my 'created life', including my sexual urge.

God also helped me to know how to achieve this. Let me show you.

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We connect with God with our spirit. We interact with the world, including people around us with our body (our eyes, skin, nose, ears, tongue).

These two interactions (the body and the spirit) affect our decisions every point in our lives...

Whether we fall into or resist temptation at any time in our lives is a matter of 'who is on the throne at the time - the spirit or the body?'.

In Romans 8:13, The Bible says you will always fail when you allow your body to be in charge but if you allow your spirit to control what your body does, you will always succeed.

In Proverbs 20:27, King Solomon said, 'The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord...'

When you make efforts to develop your spirit being by feeding on spiritual food like heartfelt humble prayers, studying and practicing the Word of God, interacting with other genuine believers and reading of wholesome spirit -inspiring literatures, the candle of God in your life will continue to burn brightly.

But when you place your body on the throne by feeding it with lustful thoughts, seductive video scenes, romantic novels, pornography, masturbation, etcetera, you will be quenching the fire of your candle.

When your candle blows off, your life will be full of darkness and you will be vulnerable to all forms of temptations in this world.

So, I learnt that one effective way to keep my sexual urge under control is to build my spirit man.

Be strong in the Lord. When temptation comes, God will then be strong for you.

You cannot reap where you did not sow.

Remember, you don't build your spiritual life by remaining in the scene of temptation. Temptation is strongest when you are in its vicinity.

I was counseling a lady one day and at the middle of the session, I started having lustful thoughts in my heart towards the lady I was counseling.

I simply stopped the counseling and called it a day. The lady was shocked but me and God knew why the session had to end.

I left there immediately and found a place to renew my mind in God's presence in prayers and in the Word.

I was getting increasingly close to one particular very nice and spiritual lady some years ago. Not long, I started having lustful thoughts towards her.

When I realized this, I began to intentionally create distance. I stopped the prolonged phone call sessions and made sure our meetings are short and purposeful.

As I created distance, the temptation began to die a natural death.

Your sexual urge is you and you are your sexual urge. If you lose control of it, you will be losing control of your life.

Don't feed your temptations because doing so is like feeding a 'baby lion'. It will grow up and eat you up.

Build your spirit man/woman and let the control of your body come from there.

When your spirit is talking, don't silence it. Listen to the voice of grace and, obey your spirit's instructions and caution.

The Holy Spirit works closely with the person who has developed his/her spirit in the Word of God.