I don't know how to put this across but
I shall give it a shot. We all are good at giving
a shot to something that we feel that we
might or might not be able to accomplish.
That's how challenging writing is to me,
that's how challenging almost everything is
to me. So I give a shot to almost everything
and strangely I end up doing well. Maybe,
everything is all about giving that one shot.
There is no glory in the finish. Because
nothing ever gets finished. The moment it
feels that it's about to get finished, it
transmutes itself into something else. And
we keep going on and on. We too become
someone else. We are constantly becoming
someone else. Nobody can point that out.
Somebody will have to be something that's
more than a change to figure that out. And
even if someone does that? You can't do
anything about it, except sitting and
watching. That's the meaning of living!
guess. We all want to say so much, do so
much, that's why it's so hard for us to let
something unfold right in front of us, right
within us. I sit here, in my misery knowing
the fact that this too will pass. But I have
learned a great deal by not wishing anything from anything that rises or passes
by. There's glory in the rise and the fall of
things. How many of us are willing to see
that. How many of us are daring to
experience that. I guess none! But it's ok.
Sometimes something makes us feel so
beautiful that we forget everything.
Everything feels tasteless and bland in front
of that one thing. We keep chasing it. We
keep recalling that feeling. We get angry
when we don't get it any longer. We get so
upset that we stop listening. We stop talking
to ourselves. We lock ourselves in a dark
room. Because we are upset. We are upset
for the fact that something or someone
made us feel so beautiful, that we can't
figure out the whereabouts of that beauty.
That beauty isn't found if we meet that
person again or if we find that "something!"
again. We look for it everywhere. Thinking of
it makes me tired. That's how stubborn we
are. It's a funny game. It's like someone
made you do something and now you are
angry because you can't do that on your
own. I guess, the purpose of that brief
visitation of that beauty is for us to figure
out where it truly lies. It's so close that it's almost invisible. We can't see our eyes
lashes, yet they are the closest to our eyes.
That's how close we are to almost
everything. But because we can't see it, we
can't find it, we need people, instances,
things and places to remind us, to pin point
at us, reminding us that look it's right there.
With you. Nobody can take it away from
you. You always had it. It's ok if we don't
remember, it's ok if we couldn't follow their
pointing fingers. It's ok if we couldn't
understand our way back to ourselves.
Everything is meaningless if we don't find
the eyes that add meaning to everything.
We must find those eyes. Otherwise we will
get lost in an ocean of blindness. We must
open those eyes. Not only for us but for the
entire ocean. The ocean awaits the opening
of our eyes.