FREEDOM from Toxic-Manipulative Friendship

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Avatar for Este
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2 years ago

They say birds with the same feathers flock together, but I say they befriend you not because you belong to them but because they are preying for you. Friendship isn't just about being belonged, some friendship is about hunting preys, and showing dominance. People get you not because they wanted you in a sweet way but rather you have something that will benefit them. This article isn't a shard scissors that cut your fantasy on what ideal friendships are, this is the article that will open your eyes to what position are you in inside your group. Are you a friend, or a prey?

My catastrophe started when I have decided to transfer to other campus at the last year of my senior years in high school. I didn't find it hard to adopt to the new environment for there are many familiar faces, I also have with me my best friend for a couple of years, this is not about her. So, life was smooth and easy for the few first weeks. Then, this girl approaches us in a very good way, I didn't find it odd for most of them welcome us warmly. Though I was a new student, I was able to be pat of the classroom officers. I was the one in charge in disseminating information such as announcements, and projects. Because of my position I get to know my classmates sooner and had a good start with them. I become so close with this certain guy, to my surprise we were schoolmates during junior high school and was belonged to same campus organization. We clicked right away and become friends, we talked everyday through chats and during classes. Then, almost a couple of weeks he then told me about the failed friendship between him and one of our classmates, I wasn't that interested with that because I don't want to meddle with their issues.

Months have passed, I had a good relationship with almost everyone and, me and my best friend were having a really good time. Then, we got to know this girl, the one who approach me before, she was so kind and sweet. We then become a four people friend, because we also meet this other girl who is extremely rich and has a down to earth personality. The friendship started so fine and smooth, we go shopping, we study together, we go anywhere together, and become very close -like sisters. By those time we also still communicate with that guy and become best friends, but I was left dumbfounded when i found out that his best friend which he had a bad terms with, was the girl who approach me and that time was my best friend. One time, that girl asked me about how are we (me and my guy besfriend) so I answered her casually that we are doing fine, and I found him pretty fun to be with. The atmosphere suddenly change, I can feel her negative aura towards what I said. Then, she start telling her side of the story and how she was being betrayed by him and bullied by the boys in the class. That was the time she starts giving negative comments on the boys' personalities, we really believed her and sympathized her. She really did a good act on making us believe she was a victim.

But I felt that there was something wrong when she started to bad mouth one of my guy classmate which I have known since grade school, she start telling so many things -exaggerating some details and twisting stories. She was very good in convincing people and playing victim because I start to feel mad at those people who she said was bullies and treated her badly. I start to build trust on her, and we did share a lot of things, she helped me with my studies. It became a group bonding, we literally became very studios, and made so many memories. She then gain my trust. She begun share some personal stuffs with us, like what her father do for a living, their family business which is shipping lines, she has a police officer sister which is now working abroad, she mentioned that her father was residing in Germany and told us how difficult it is being apart from her father. She even told us about her long term relationship with a seaman, which we doubt the existence.

I did continue my friendship with the guy, and keep it for a secret to avoid chaos. But as months passed by, I get the chance to know the boys, because we got teamed up for our research, I learned the stories behind the "bullying" where in fact she wasn't a really a victim and was exaggerating things. Later on, I suspected her, I observed her behavior and that's when I found out she's doing tricks on us.

As we get closer and closer, she begun using her emotional instability to keep me on her side. She's starting to make us feel that we owe her our grades, and security in school, that we owe her our academic achievements, and that in return we must stay on her side. Always. Things are getting creepy, and I thought that the reconnection between her and my guy best friend would make things up, so I made them closer together. As a result their friendship was revive, and then we become three man team. We did many thing, my guy best friend and I begun to have feelings for each other, and she noticed it quickly. We didn't had a chance to tell her because she threatened us that if she found out that we are having a relationship she'll commit suicide. That pushed us to keep our relationship private.

Our relationship didn't last and we broke up, she then found it out eventually. She comforted me with my other three friends. Things again were going smoothly, not until one celebration we were invited by her family. Me and my other bestfriend learned there that her father wasn't really residing in Germany and was not a businessman. Which shocked us. She wasn't there when we had a conversation with one of her family member. By then, things went up side down.

We felt being fooled. After that incident we noticed so many lies that she made us believed. But we played dumb and slowly losing ties with her, then one time it was our other friends birthday, the one who is extremely rich and has a down to earth personality. We were being invited and was a part of the 18 candles, it was only just the three of us that was being invited together with our whole section. But then, this girl pushed to invite his guy friend who she just meet, so my friend let it.

We meet the guy and have a few chats with him. the conversation was nice and she was there, she is part of the conversation but as we arrived to the venue she just left the guy who knows no one in the party except us and her. So, we become obligated to entertain the guy and invited him to our table. That girl just ditch us also in the part and joined other tables. So, yeah we didn't let that to ruin the evening, we did our best to enjoy the party.

But to our surprise, the next day she begun spreading news to the campus that we were flirting with her guy during the party. I WAS LITERALLY DONE WITH HER. Regardless with the friendship we have build, I totally cut ties with her after confronting her, and we never talked anymore in person.

Cutting toxic people who always makes you feel you owe them everything and makes you the bad person is really worth it. Don't ever give a second thought about cutting manipulative people, they helped you not because they wanted to but because they want to have control on you by guilt tripping.

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Avatar for Este
Written by
2 years ago