It is hard to say I'm sorry

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2 years ago

You and your second just had a dispute, maybe you were both wrong and now both of you are waiting for who will knock the door first and say "hey baby I'm sorry".

Who will make the first move?

Most times people think that the first to make the "I'm sorry move" is the weak or even the guilty one. I was privileged to grow up with a lot of couples and have seen them use the weapon of not talking to each other after a fight. That silence can kill any relationship faster than even the disagreements.

This linger on and on until the "weak" one breaks the silence and say I'm sorry. The fact is that most partners see the first to say I'm sorry as the weak or the guilty one.

A lot of relationships have crashed based on this premise. It's like when we were kids and play who will go first game. Sincerely I'm always the first to apologize once I see I was in the wrong or reacted badly and I don't see this as any weakness but strength.

It takes a lot of strength to say I'm sorry and then to embrace peace. The ability to quarrel and make up as a couple is humanly and the right thing to do. Do not see this as weakness. I made up my mind long ago that no matter what is going on with me and my wife that we must not stop talking. Nope, the "silence weapon" is not allowed in our home.

The best time to talk and open communication is when there's an issue. A lot of people do the opposite. You said there's an issue yet you've closed all communications. Immediately there's a fight and you've both cooled off, please try not to go to bed without talking to your partner. Don't let the sun rise over your anger.

I do agree that it can be very painful being the first to break the silence especially when you "feel" you are not the one at fault. Again have also noticed that it's easier to say I'm sorry immediately after a fight than say I'm sorry the next or couple of days after. It gets more difficult as the days go by. Calmly talk about it, table what you didn't like in the argument and see how you can avoid them.

That said, remember that this won't be the end of your verbal fights and arguments. As far as you leave together there will always be disagreements. It's a human nature to disagree but if you both open communication you can 70% of the time avoid and ignore some unnecessary disagreements.

Think on this words and be fast to say you are sorry whenever you are in the wrong and embrace peace and love.

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