Both men and women cheat. No one is innocent for cheating and no reason can justify the act of cheating. I decided to write this article after being so fed up with the ‘story’ of cheating around me. I’m not talking about the simple cheating in school where the students always engage especially in exams and all, and I just hope that the word ‘cheating’ ends simply just like that.
So why do people really cheat? Why can’t they feel content?
They say that contentment helps you distinguish what you want between what you need. When you are contented, you won’t desire anything more than what you need. Contentment is a realization that happiness doesn’t come from material things and from the things that we’ve always wanted. If the person doesn’t feel this contentment after having what he wants then that is the time when they look for another thing that will satisfy them.
But then, do people really get satisfied?
I’ve asked a few friends with those questions and got some relatively same answers with them. They say that human being’s emotions in particular are a complex thing. Even if it is impossible to always feel happiness all the time, but there are circumstances where people feel contented and satisfied.
Most of my friends were in a relationship and their common problem is having a third party with their partners, or let’s simply say ‘cheating problems’. Whenever I hear about this, the first thing that comes to my mind is ‘Why’. Why did they cheat? What is the reason?
I always make sure to get the both point of view of each side, then I will try to analyse who made mistakes and who to blame for the cheating. Some of the reasons were because the partner is not being so attentive to the other one, or they are too far from each other that the other one finds comfort and love to another's company, or that the love is gone, and so on.
Before, when I heard about cheating, I’m not blaming the one who cheated directly because I believe that there is always a reason why did they cheated. But now, I realize that I was wrong—at least in my own perspective. Because no matter what your reason is, cheating is always cheating. If you cheat, you committed a mistake. Whether your reason is valid or not, you can’t change the fact that you cheat.
Uncle C, a close family friend of ours, was engaged in cheating recently. I just overheard it when he and my mother were talking in the balcony one morning. Uncle C was in his late 40’s and a married man with four (4) kids. The news of him cheating with one of our neighbours came from his brother, Kuya J. He is the younger brother of Uncle C, and he accidentally spilled the beans when he was very drunk the other night. So my mother asked Uncle C about it, not in a nosy way, when he came in the house yesterday.
Uncle C just laughed and told my mother to never tell his wife. He said, “Laki gud ta. Naa pajoy kwarta. Enjoy-enjoy sad ta panalagsa.” (I’m a man, and I have money. I just wanted to have fun sometimes). I’ve found out that the one who he’s having an affair with is Aunt N, who is also a married woman with three (3) kids.
I really wonder why they still have to cheat when they are both married. Why can’t they feel contented with their spouse and family? Why do they need to cheat? Was cheating that satisfying and fun? How about their partners, did they think of what their partners would feel? How about their children, what would their children think of them? Can they really be happy about that?
Is it really true that humans can’t get contented? Because if that is the case then I rather stay single for the rest of my life. This is also one of the reasons why I am never interested in any relationships, aside from being successful first as my utmost priority of course. Because I really don’t understand why people still choose to be in a relationship when they can’t get contented with their partners. It looks like you were just looking for a nice stone to hit in your head.
And upon thinking for the main reason why people do really cheats, I’ve come across with this article in a social media site about the traits of a good man who never cheats. So I decided to reverse the traits he have mention and come up with these:
Not appreciating what you have.
Obviously, people who cheat never appreciate what they have. When you are in a relationship, learn to appreciate your partner and everything about them including their flaws, in that way you can’t find in someone else the things that you wanted your partner to have and you won’t be putting your relationship in jeopardy.
Practicing biological urges over going beyond primal urge.
Humans have these biological urges within them, the desire to reproduce and so on. And this is often used as a reason for cheating. However, a person who appreciates his partner resists this basic urge for the sake of more important decisions rather than his carnal desire.
Don’t have a conscience.
A person who has the strong urge of conscience within him finds it hard to do things outside their relationship. But then some people cheat from their partners back and act like nothing happened and almighty, then you’ve got a thick face there. But remember that karma is a bitch, mostly cheaters are afraid to be cheated on.
Values a fleeting experience over love.
Relationships solely based on sexual attractions usually don’t last long but when you genuinely love your partner you can feel fulfilment in many layers other than just sexual. They say that people are searching for that kind of connection, however they still cheat when things don’t go on their will.
Having no respect to oneself.
If a person respects himself, he also respects his partner. Respecting yourself can be shown in many ways, but not in cheating. Because cheating is ruining your partners trust and it is a sign of disrespecting them, in that way you already disrespect yourself too.
I’ve realized that there are many possible reasons why people cheat, but my main point in writing this article is to make everyone more aware of their actions. If you are committed then stick to your partner, because why choose to be in a relationship when you will find the things that other people have instead of what your partner has. And if you are falling out of love, then be honest to your partner. Truth hurts, but being lied to leaves scar and can possibly affect a person’s self-confidence. Do not make any excuses for cheating.
