“I didn’t regret anything because I did everything. I was hurt but I won’t beg for his acceptance. I’m a jewel, it’s his loss. I realized my worth.”
-Aunt Jean
I was inspired to write this article because of a little chit-chat with my Aunt Jean a while ago. She’s not biologically my aunt but I used to call her aunt since I was a child. So first and foremost, let me introduce who Aunt Jean is.
Aunt Jean is our neighbor for over 15 years. Her family originally came from Cebu and they just migrated here for their livelihood. Their family is a good friend of ours. I think I was just 7 years old that time while she’s in high school when I met her. Even before, she was already a little chubby. Well, I guess it runs in the family since her mother and sister were also chubby. She also had a very curly hair and a lot of pimples.
She likes kids and that’s why we easily get along. My cousins and I sometimes go to their house and play with her, and she always invites us on every occasion. She’s very kind actually, and she had many cats too. Sometimes I heard her talking to my mother about her crushes and heartbreaks but since I was still a kid that time so I didn’t really get it.
Years passed and we grew. I was already in high school when she became a regular employee in the company that she applied for. Her mother was confined with cancer and died. Her sister gets married and lives with her husband so only Aunt Jean was left in the house. Their house became quiet and lonely too.
Since then, I rarely see her. If I’m not mistaken, I only see her once or twice a month. And if we saw each other she’d always compliment how I grew so tall and prettier. I’ve always laughed it out and told her I’m not. I actually noticed that I grew taller than her. Her hair was still curly but I can now see how beautiful her curly hair was. Her pimples lessened, and she still had that chubby body. But I realized that she actually looks good on that body of hers and she looks cute with her height.
Not so long, a rumor about her bringing a man into their house spread in our neighborhood. I just don’t understand why people mind those things when it’s not their business and Aunt Jean was already in the legal age. It was actually the first rumor about her involving a man. She never had a boyfriend, that’s what I knew before her mother died. But if she had then that’s normal.
I didn’t believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes. I heard that the man is her long-time boyfriend and was now staying in her house because he lost his job. I was actually happy for her because I can see that she is happy. She used to complain about her looks so much and how sure she was that no one will like her. I am just glad that he came.
Then last September, a rumor spread again. It was about how she was fooled by her playboy boyfriend who only wants her money. I instantly feel bad hearing it even if I didn’t know if it was true or not. But I guess it was true when we coincidentally passed by with each other. Her curly hair was in a mess and her eyes were puffy from crying maybe. She didn’t notice me or maybe she just really ignored me.
I haven’t seen her for months after that but earlier this day she visited our house. She asked if we have buko since she was craving one. We had a dwarf coconut tree in the backyard and luckily it has some buko. We’ve talked and she complimented me again. I don’t really know why she always compliments me whenever we see each other, it feels like I always look different whenever she sees me.
I’ve cut my hair short and she complimented me again for that, though she said that she likes my hair more when it’s long because she used to design it with colorful clips before. I noticed that her hair is starting to grow longer, she cut it last time we saw each other, and now it is already reaching her elbows. I like my wavy hair, but whenever I see her curly ones I can’t help but feel envious. I also noticed that she became chubbier and shorter than the last time. And also her pimples aren’t that visible now. I did really say that she glowed.
I complimented her and asked if she was in love. My mother teases her too. She just laughs and nods. She said she is in love. I asked who's the special someone. Her answer made me smile. She pointed to herself and said ‘Me. I am the special someone. I love myself more now.’
The talking goes on until we talked about her ex-boyfriend too. I’ve asked her many questions regarding that topic. Like how she handles it or if she regrets anything, something like that. I was curious so I couldn’t control myself, besides I have been so curious for so long. I thought I offended her or something but she just looked at me confidently with a smile on her face saying ‘I didn’t regret anything because I did everything. I was hurt but I won’t beg for his acceptance. I’m a jewel, it’s his loss. I realized my worth.’
I was really awed by what I saw with her. I feel so proud and happy for her. I was very inspired that I can hear and understand more the message of the lyrics of the songs that I used to play and sing whenever I have a youtube marathon.
“There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are.”
This beautiful song ‘Scars to Your Beautiful’ by Alessia Cara is about self-acceptance. Aunt Jean finally accepts herself now and loves herself the way she is. Women really glow beautifully if they know themselves more and accept it just the way they are.
“Who says, who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me, that's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty?
Who says you're not beautiful?
Who says?”
This song ‘Who Says’ by Selena Gomez means embracing yourself and to not let anyone bring you down. It is such an inspiring song for those women with low self-esteem. Who says you’re not perfect? Girl, you are perfect just the way you are. Who says you’re not worth it? C’mon, you’re more precious than a diamond. Who says you’re not beautiful? You’re beautiful inside and out. You just need to accept yourself.
If people would say bad things about you, don’t hate them. Don’t hate yourself either, or feel down about what they said. Instead, thank them. Because if they say those, it means that they hate those things about you. They hate those things about you because you had it while they don’t. So don’t feel bad about it. Nothing is wrong with you.
“I love me!
Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else”
The song ‘Love Myself’ by Hailee Steinfeld has strong lyrics about self-love. Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that supports our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. A woman is naturally emotional. Our emotional quotients are higher and not similar to men. That is why women are more affectionate than men.
A little word can hurt a woman’s feelings. But if she loves herself, she won’t be needing anything. Because self-love means taking care of your own needs and having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. This means that your happiness depends on yourself and not on others.
Just like what the bible said in the great and first commandment, ‘You shall love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’ and in the second commandment, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself…And if you haven’t learned to love yourself, you can’t really love anyone else.’
“Pretty's on the inside
See it in your own eyes”
The song ‘Pretty’s on the Inside’ by Chloe Adams means to not envy other people’s beauty and appearances. This means that we should appreciate our own beauty since everyone is unique. She might be beautiful in your eyes but she might be ugly in someone else’s eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway. However, outside beauty will fade eventually but inner beauty doesn't. It is more important to keep our souls beautiful first rather than our face and body.
“I wake up every day like hello, beautiful
'Cause this world is so crazy and it can bring you down
You're too short, too fat, too skinny
Hey, well excuse me if I think that I'm pretty”
The song ‘Girl in the Mirror’ by Sophia Grace speaks about girl power. Don’t mind people telling you 'you’re ugly’, ‘you’re too fat’, ‘you’re too skinny’, ‘you’re too short’, or ‘you’re too dark’. Girl, if you think that you’re pretty, believe in that. What you think of yourself matters most, not sentiments. They are just people who take confidence by getting people down. Don’t listen and just do whatever makes you happy.
I hope for all the women who're reading this article to always know self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love.
