Last night, I had a dream. It’s not a new dream because I used to have this kind of dream sometimes too. In my dream, there is a woman. With white skin and long jet black hair. She held me in her arms and I was so happy. I was still a baby and I would make cute giggles. I tried to look and memorize the woman’s face but there was nothing. She doesn't have a face.
I would always wake up after that. The same goes as my other dreams. Whenever I would see that she doesn't have a face, an alarm clock or my Mom’s calling always wakes me up. Oddly how I don’t feel scared every after that dream. Aside from that, I always remember it like it wasn’t a dream at all and I would always feel a little lonely after that.
Earlier, while I was cleaning the house, I found an old photo album. I got curious so I stopped the sweeping for a while and decided to take a look. Memories flood in me as I turn every page of the album. There were photos in where I was still a baby which I would never really let anyone see. There were photos in my kindergarten graduation which I think I would be able to stretch my face because of the wide smile that I was wearing. I remember that I was very happy to be awarded as best in reading, best in writing, best in English, best in Math, and most behaved that time. I even raised my gold medal so that everyone could see. I just wish I still have that brain in academics now back when I was still in kindergarten.
There are also pictures of our P.E Festival. Yearly, it’s a tradition in our school to have an event in which all of the students will dance and participate. My memories with those times were fun but I hate how I looked with my make up in the picture. I think the only time that I like my P.E Festival picture is when I was in grade five. My long hair was on a braid and I was comfortable with my costume, plus my cousin is the one who put on my makeup that time and not my Mom so I look natural and I like it.
There is also a picture of my first communion in grade three. There is also a picture of the recognition day when I was in grade four. I look so happy in it. It was the only recognition picture that my father attended. It used to be only Mom, my brother and me in the picture because my father was always busy at work but that time we are complete.
And then there’s my elementary graduation pictures up until the high schools completion ceremony and then the graduation for completing the K-12. A warm smile was plastered in my lips as I was slowly reminiscing the memories behind those pictures. Memories never fade, but keeping pictures of those memories was a great idea.
I was about to close the album and put it back to where I found it when a picture fell out. It was a very old picture that some part of it was already discoloured and blurred. I was still a baby in that picture, probably a year and months old. And a woman is carrying me. You can see in the picture that I was looking at the woman’s face while she looked down at me with an obvious smiling face. Then I realized that it was the one in my dream. Even in the picture, the woman’s face wasn’t clearly seen. While looking at the picture I remember the funny voices and chuckled in my dreams.
A smack on my arms startled me so much. For a while, I think I would have a heart attack. I am always easily startled! I was about to shout at the person when I realized that it was my mother. She then started nagging again about how lazy I was that I couldn’t even finish sweeping the floor yet here I was just sitting along. To distract her, I showed her the picture and asked her about the woman. She narrowed her eyes to clearly see the picture.
‘It’s your aunt. You used to love it so much when she always carries and plays with you’ she said. I then realized that those dreams aren’t just dreams but my memories. Mom said that it was their youngest sibling who died years ago due to a heart failure. She used to stay with us when both of my parents have work. She buys me toys, food, and clothes. And she always plays with me and my brother. She’s like a second mother to us and we call her Mommy.
She died when I was very young and now I don't remember what she looked like. She was the faceless woman in my dreams and in my memory. I may not remember her face clearly but I can still remember the sound of her voice and I am sure that I love her and I miss her so much.
