Household and Gender Roles

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2 years ago

As a daughter in the house, I am expected and supposed to do every household chore or assist my mother in it. They always say that it is a woman's duty to know and do every chores in the house.

I don't see any problem in knowing and doing every household chore but apparently, I also see this as a gender bias.

These past few days, my mother has been ill. So, as a daughter, it is my responsibility to do my mother's work in the house. I am never a morning person but I needed to wake-up early to cook for breakfast, then after that I'll sweep and clean the house, then I'll clean the backyard and front yard, then water the plants, then feed the chickens, ducks, and the rabbit as well, then after that I would proceed with the laundry.

When the clock ticks at 11am, even if I am not yet done with washing all of the dirty clothes, I would stop for a while to cook for lunch. Then after lunch I will continue doing the laundry. At 4pm I would cook for dinner, then wash the dishes after dinner.

These are my life cycles for the past few days. It is not easy and it is very tiring to be honest. This just proves that being a housewife and a mother at the same time is not easy. I wonder how my mother managed all of these for the past years.

What makes me say that there is a gender inequality in the house?

1. Cooking

Well, first is when it comes to cooking, it is always the woman or they would always say that cooking is part of a woman's responsibility. I've experienced it these past few days and before, even though I was already the one who cooks for breakfast and lunch, I was also expected to cook for dinner.

I am not lamenting over this but not all women could cook. Me, myself isn't good at cooking. Yes, probably I can cook simple foods, especially fried foods, but if I would cook something difficult for me then there's a higher possibility that it would be a failure. And I always get scolded for those failed foods. They would say that 'A woman should know how to cook', 'You should cook to serve your family in the future', 'A woman is useless if she can't cook'.

People, cooking may be a necessary skill that is needed for a wife material woman but it doesn't exactly mean that a woman is useless or worthless if she couldn't cook well!

And it is really a mystery to me why a woman must cook for every meal when there is another member of the family who didn't do anything. At first, I thought it's just normal because my father is at work while my brother is helping my uncle for some matter. But though, even when they are both in the house it is always my mother and me who do the cooking. 

2. Cleaning the House

In cleaning the house, obviously it is also the woman who does the cleaning. Some said that it is because women are good at cleaning unlike men. 

Well, I think even if that is the case it is not necessary for a woman to do all the cleaning by herself just because she's good at it while the man was just sitting and relaxing because he's bad at it.

It happened to me most of the time, I would get scolded and unending 'A woman should' if there are times that I would skip cleaning the house or forgot cleaning the house because of some matter. For example, when it is the time of the month. There are really times that I would wake up very late just because my body felt tired and aching but my brother would then wake me up shouting that I should start cleaning the house even if he could actually clean it.

I witnessed it many times, how my mother cleaned the house--just because she is good at it, while the men in our house were just relaxing doing nothing--just because they are bad at it.

3. Doing Laundry

Then next is doing the laundry. I really hate it, because even doing the laundry it is also needed to be done by a woman.

I only wash my clothes once a week since I separated it from the laundry basket, and I never did let my mother wash my clothes when I reached fifth grade. However, my mother do the laundry everyday. I always wonder why it never ends, so when I replaced her place these past few days I found out that it is because my father and brother had so many dirty clothes for I don't know why. And even some personal stuff such as underwears are in the basket to let us wash for it.

4. Washing the dishes

Then for washing the dishes, it is not that they didn't know how to wash the dishes but they always used 'A woman should' just for me to wash it.

I always find it ridiculous, when even if I was done washing the plates, if they would eat late or something, they wouldn't wash their own plate and just put it in the sink for me to wash it again.

These are just some of the things that I have noticed in the house, but I wonder what they think of us women, a maid? A working machine who wouldn't get tired? 

This just made me think that entering marriage isn’t a joke at all. If a woman is treated like a princess in her parent’s house, then it will probably change when she gets married. Honestly, this is the 21st century. Everything that a man can do, a woman can do also and vice versa. And this should also be applied in every household, to not let the wife do all the household chores by herself when in fact a husband or any male in the house could also share with the chore.

Men never know how hard and difficult it is to be a woman in the house, except for those househusbands. Doing chores and taking care of the people in the house at the same time, it is not easy. Yes, although gender equality exists, but not always in the house.



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