prison.

Conch Blue Prison

07. I am drowning in loneliness

I suddenly know why my father has become a hobby, Runner will write a book. Rokmari Runner is writing down the rules and regulations in his notebook. He also bought many books from the market. Going from the old lady, he has taken note of the cooking of coconut-hilsa or chickpeas with immense interest. Ninu and Overseas cousin's wife are helping him in this matter. Sometimes a couple of dishes are also cooked at home. On that day, a sweet called Noapati was made. He is happy to say that he is good to eat.

Well done, busy with something. Rabea is also very busy with her studies. It is difficult to see him. If I say. Come on, Rabeya, let's talk a little, Rabeya woke up, two days later, my test - now I'm chatting with you! Who else is crazy!

Montu stopped returning home at night. A few friends have rented a house together. There are rumors. So the big one doesn't come home, suddenly one and a half days come. He wanders around like a guest, goes to his father and says, what kind of cooking is there, father?

One hundred and twelve.

Oh Dad, so much! Don't cook one. Today, eat. Tell me what you need, I will bring it from the market.

Rana started with great enthusiasm about Baba Montu.

Soon after Jhunu left, I was left alone.

Everyone has work to do. I don't have much work at home. You have to spend time in Schuebs. So I returned home late. I returned at eleven o'clock that night and saw Rabia sitting in my room with a black face.

What happened Rabea?

Nothing happened. You wash your hands and face, I say.

What matters is listening to the ball.

Your aunt came right after you went to college.

For what?

You don't know anything?

No!

Kitki's marriage. Everything will be settled tomorrow night. Aunt told everyone to go. Send the car.

No.

Son of a retired district judge. In the Foreign Service. Posted in France. Come on vacation, get married and come back. There was a conversation with Kitki in Manila. For some reason the boy went there. Kitki is known. Kitki also likes the boy very much.

What is the benefit of listening to me rabeya?

No profit?

No.

Why is this? Are you silent?

I remained silent. What do I have to do? What could I do? Rabea is staring at me. Who knows if he will cry. Rabea whispered, "I'm glad to be here." No. I will go somewhere outside as soon as I pass. I'll be alone! And baby, listen.

Tell me.

You're an ass, idiot. I spit in your face.

I took off my shirt and went to the toilet. Rabea comes after me. At one point he said in his throat, baby, are you angry? Shh, don't be angry. Fool to be angry with my words?

Baby,

Arrived last evening. Here. The school superintendent came to the station himself. Heavy good man. She is calling me mother all the time. School on his own money, two-storey school house on his own land. He has poured out all his savings and has great compassion for everything. And since I am one of the school, so is his love bride.

I got off the train very scared. New place. - I don't know anyone, I don't know. But seeing him all the fear disappeared. I think when I see someone. It's as if I had a close acquaintance with him a long time ago, just like that. He first took her home. At home, he and Surma are the only two animals. Surma is his daughter. After dinner he took me to the hotel. Seventeen students live there. I became their hostel superintendent. A small red brick building. A piece of marigold garden in front. Pond behind. All my mind is covered.

Baby, when I was with you, I got a kind of peace, this is another kind. Here it seems that all the desires of life have become centered. There is nothing more to ask for. I was sitting on the roof last night. Alone. Why, it seemed, a little lonely. Thinking about Mir, thinking about Runu, I shed a few tears. But the slightest edge is not real! Why cry, tell me? I have a lot of grief. - No one will ever know a lot. But still, I have got a brother like Khoka, who came to comfort me when he heard that Kitki was getting married. Runu, Tunu, Montu, Ninu - these are my Parul sisters, Champa brothers. Is there any sorrow in the moon market around? Montu has dedicated a book of poetry. Me All the poems are written with despair and pain. I wondered how he saw everything inside me. Those two lines:

Can you give me a hundred lanterns?

Ajanma salajja sadha - one day I flew some lanterns in the sky.

As if he had said the latent word inside my chest. I pray that he grows up.

Why is that baby? Why did all that went upside down? Runuta's memory is pierced like a thorn. Sushila Purkayastha, a girl from my hostel, looks exactly like Runu. I called him yesterday and caressed him for a long time, letting him read Montu's poetry book. She is very surprised, she doesn't know - she doesn't want to cry all night with her breasts!

I also think of Niluta. Have you seen Varikki at such a young age? On the afternoon of the day I was to leave, he became serious and put a suitcase on my bed. I said, what's up, what's in the suitcase?

Nothing. My clothes and books. You will take this with you.

What is he! What do I do with it?

Wow, I'll be with you too.

Did you see the girl? Didn't say anything to anyone. Everything is arranged by itself. Go with me. Seeing all this, the mind is absorbed. I think so. What is the grief of what? Mamata's sorrow in such a deep sea. You will be drowned. You're smiling, aren't you? I also became a poet. Wondering if. All people are poets and fools. Why don't you remember my father's words. At night, he would sit alone on the floor and sing songs. I used to joke about night music.

So I say - all people are poets. Some may write, some may not.

You had a hobby of being very rich, so baby? That's right. So? I make you rich, how? I am registering and sending a check. I will get it in a day or two. How much money do you guess? Much more than you think. I will let you know after receiving the check; No, I'm not kidding. Am I the same as before? I can't joke at all now. I gave you the money baby. Tell me what else I have to give? You had a hobby of being very rich. I am very happy to be able to fulfill that hobby. When you were very young, once you had a hobby of buying football. I don't want anything from my mother. He came to me and told me by ear. Where can I get money? Which hurt. Till now, when I see baby boys playing football, my chest aches. You must not remember all that. My dear brother, this money is all yours, spend it the way you want. I thought I would share Ninu, Jhunu, Montu and Baba. But I didn't think giving them the same as giving them to you. Where did I get it? Tell me what you think first.

No, I didn't steal it. No one even begged me. This is my own money. Didn't I tell you to tell Mir when it's time? Now I say, then I will understand what happened. She was married to Abid Hossain before marrying her father. They also had a daughter. Is separated. You don't need to know why. My parents married me and brought me soon after. You understand I am. That girl. Very surprised, no? My father gentleman was in Dhaka for so many days. He left everything and went out of the hall for a while. He left with this money before leaving. Me That guy was good too, Ray. Would come often in our homes. Didn't you see any day? She is wearing a blue coat and a bright red tie around her neck. I am called Dakat Ima. Sounds like a story, doesn't it?

I know everything from the age of eleven. How does it feel? Tell me then? Your father, I thought he was a father, and he did not understand anything. That one time in college my mother called me Kali. You are all sorry. Tell me what the father did? He called me at night and took me to the verandah. Hesitantly, he said, "Oh mother, keep it."

What dad?

No, a cream, very good, costs twenty rupees.

Sevenday Beauty Program written on a face with a flat mouth bottle. Tears came to my eyes. I still have that box, it's very valuable. Like a box for twenty rupees. Bought love. I want to get a person who is born as a father. People never want too much, I didn't want too much. Sometimes I think, I got a lot without asking.

Kitki made a mistake. Tell me what to do? Don't forget. Why forget? Can we forget Runu, or should we forget? Kitki is a very good man. May the girl be happy. He is not old yet, he has not learned to understand anything. It hurts to think.

Do you remember my mother baby? Can you remember the look? But I can't. I don't even dream for many days. Is very eager to see. I know you all have a grudge against Marie. Your idea is that mother could not love anyone. Maybe true, maybe not true. The little girl asked her mother one day, Shirin, you can't see your children at all!

My mother replied with a smile, "I am making them in such a way that they never suffer from lack of love."

My mother was very sad, not to talk about the sadness of the baby girl, to cover it, she has left it forever. You didn't even know. So crazy mother did not sing a single song in twenty three years. Couldn't forget the first husband. If he could, he would know how intense the taste of happiness is. Anyway, what's gone is gone. I think of those who are alive.

The bell rang a while ago, a signal to go eat. My food goes through the house. Still go down and see once. I will not eat today. The body is not good. Feeling a little feverish. Sometimes it doesn't feel bad when you are sick. Illness comes with many kinds of thoughts, which do not come at other times.

The river flows very close to the hostel. Beautiful name. Can't remember right now. Leaving the searchlight at night, the launch goes, it takes a lot to see. I can see the launch is going to light up. You will not see all this from Dhaka.

Stays so far today. Keep an eye on the body. Don't smoke bad cigarettes. Less news, but must be expensive. There is no thought of money. I used to kiss your forehead as a child, now you have grown up. Still kissing from a distance.

Yours, Rabeya Apa.

Address: Superintendent, Girls Hostel

The ideal high school

Poh A. Kalsahati

District-Mymensingh.

Often wakes up late at night. I suddenly woke up to see meaningless dreams without. Lying in a familiar bed, this idea also takes time to come to mind. The window near the head seems to have moved to the feet. Feeling thirsty. Glass of water covered on the table. If you stretch out your hand, but you don't want to!

Some nights are wonderful jochana. The whole house floats in the soft light. I thought, it would be nice to be alone! I wrapped myself in a sheet again. As if I have nothing to do with the light of the waning moon outside.

Sometimes called rain. She sounds like a monotonous cry. I listen to get ears. There is a direct sound in the bamboo leaves in the air. All in all, the heart became ha-ha. I do not feel the huge depression in the vast emptiness of the primordial! My companions call me out of the darkness by the window. One day I am drowning in loneliness after getting the company of those.

* Conch Blue Prison is the name of a poem by Rafiq Kaiser. The name was reused with the permission of the poet.