@Eirolfeam2 16 June 2021 more from that month

My Ex Future Husband

I wrote this poem when I was about to step my feet into my college life. Based on my phone's Notes, it was written last **June 27, 2018**, or about 3 years ago. It was a poem dedicated to my supposed to be "husband" but became just an "ex" now because things just don't go as planned. **So let me tell you a story about my ex future husband.** I was in **Kindergarten**, only 6 years old when I met my future husband. As a kid, I enjoyed his company where there were no problems that arise between us. I loved the way I got to count from 1 to 10 and even up to one hundred with him. It was all just fun, the way I remember my Kindergarten memories with him. Then came **Grade 1 to Grade 4**, I was not just counting from 1 to 10, but I even added one number to another, and I also subtracted, multiplied, and divided one number into another, with my so-called "future husband". Not just that, but I even got hooked with the fractions and decimals just so I can stay by his side. My memory is still clear on how I fell for my husband to be. It was when I was in **Grade 5** when my teacher noticed that I'm catching feelings for him. It was no longer just admiration, but what I felt for him was more than I could ever imagine at that time. A feeling that I want to keep for the rest of my life. Since that encounter with my teacher, I became more determined to get to know my "future husband". I studied day and night, prepared myself for more difficult problem-solving, memorized all the important details about him, just so one day I can say that I have known him since I was 6 when the time comes that I can call him "my husband". I was dedicated, determined enough to have him by my side, so when I stepped into my High School journey, I made sure he was still in my sight. I don't want to lose the feelings I have for him so I kept it all in. I held onto that one encounter when I was still in Elementary. **I'm aware, I didn't like you at first,** **But I was pushed by the universe,** **To your loving embrace,** **I thought I couldn't escape.** You see, it was never my motive to be attached to him in the first place, but because of my Elementary teacher, I was. **You caught me with your glance,** **So I gave your love a chance,** **I was willing to take the risk,** **Afraid I might lose you with a blink.** Remembering my **Grade 7 until Grade 10** days, it was still fun having him by my sight. Admittedly, I struggled so much trying to keep the impressions I have for him to not be eradicated. I went on, still holding on, trying to fight for my future husband because I wanted him so much. **Days passed, I loved you more and more,** **We were a match made in Heaven,** **I was sure you were whom I adore,** **I couldn't let you go anymore.** When I got into Senior High School, I was more determined to fight for him. Before I got out of High School, I thought about my future and my vision was crystal clear and it was him whom I wanted to be with in the future. **Reality hit me,** **We were really not meant to be,** **Your love was untrue,** **I didn't know what to do.** Then came the time I had to fight for him already, but I was not given the chance to prove my intent. I was rejected. No. I was actually a coward because I didn't fight until the end. I immediately surrendered even if I knew there was still a chance. **Your name started with "C",** **And it was followed with "P",** **"A" was your last name,** **I once thought I could claim.** I really wanted to make this dream become a reality, to have that 3-word next to my surname. But when I got to the point that I had to fight for it already, I was too weak that even if I still had an opportunity, I just lose it all in a blink. Even though I'm already 3 years through the option I took, I still look back and ask the question, "What if I pushed through that one thing I was passionate about?" I really like numbers and analyzing problems. I know Accounting is tough but it would be so much worth it if I was brave enough in the beginning and I made it until the end. But things just really don't go as planned. Here's to the opportunities that we missed. Here's to the risks we didn't take. **So Goodbye, my ex-future husband.** Side note: This is so nonsense but if you made it this far, thank you so much. 😹