@DreamBig
edited
Aishiteru
You are my man My very handsome man You are good, you are loving You are kind, you are caring My man, you are sweet You are thougtful, which makes my life complete You love me as I am, no questions I had found My man, I thank you for loving me abound You truly are a gift, a gift I truly treasure Your love so true , a love which can't be measure Through sweetness or bitterness, you protect me so limitless Aishiteru! My love, May our love be boundless
2 comments
"I love you" is a good title. Somehow what you wrote doesn't touch me. It feels more like I am reading a list of facts which you made rhyme at the end. Perhaps it sounds so much better in your own language? Note a poem does not need to rhyme. A poem expresses the feelings of the writer. I wonder if this one would sound better if you used a few more words of your own language in it. I wonder about this sentence "a love which can be measure". Are you sure this is what you meant to say?
This sound more like a songs lyric to me than a poem. It sounded almost like a narrative poem but I cannot see any narrative content in it.